Title: Bloodlust

Author: Chaps1870

Pairing: McShep

Rating: NC-17

Word count: 52,100

Warning: Vampire AU

No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter One

Very carefully Rodney crept to the entrance of the cave and peered out, hoping that the Stargate would be shut down. He knew it was wishful thinking on his part considering he could still hear the telltale whine of Wraith darts as they worked the valley below but he was desperate to get off the planet. He and the Colonel had been separated from Teyla and Ronon on their run to the gate, which unfortunately had been precipitated by angry natives. As a result, John was propped against the back wall of the cave bleeding from an arrow graze on his arm. Rodney had wrapped it but it continued to bleed and he just didn’t do well with blood. Never had.

He still remembered the ride with a bloody Sheppard after the trip to the Lagrangian point satellite. Being trapped in the jumper for 15 hours, the metallic tang of blood permeating the air, had been almost unbearable. Thankfully, Rodney had managed to distract himself with flying the jumper. The few times he’d let Sheppard take over, he’d stayed up front, well away from the blood soaked bandages that littered the cargo area. Now he was facing the blood thing again and this time it was worse. This time he had a personal interest. It wasn’t Sheppard’s blood this time. It was John’s.

It was impossible to avoid and he really needed to get back to John but he lingered near the entrance, taking a final breath of fresh air. Unconsciously rubbing his fingers together, he tried to remove the dried blood from earlier but it clung to his skin, marking him. With a heavy sigh, he rubbed his hands on his pants a final time and headed into the cave.

Sheppard was slumped against the wall, his eyes closed as Rodney edged closer. The light was dim, but he could see well enough. The dark was comforting, almost soothing after the harshness of the sun. Kneeling in the dirt beside John, Rodney grabbed for the few remaining supplies. Not much in the grand scheme of things but they both carried the minimal supplies in their vests. Between the two of them they would have enough if they weren’t trapped too long. He sat staring at the soaked bandage on John’s upper arm, sweat beading on his brow and heart beating faster at the thought of touching it. To feel the warm stickiness between his fingers made his breath catch and his hand lifted against his will, only to stop short when he realized John was awake, watching him.

“You okay, Rodney? You look kind of pale,” asked John, wincing as he tried to sit up straighter. Rodney didn’t point out that John probably looked paler than he did.

Sitting back on his haunches, Rodney pulled his hand back and nodded sharply, “Yes, yes. It’s just… um… I’m not so good with the whole blood thing. The fact that it’s yours soaking into the floor makes it that much more fun for me.”

“It’s just a flesh wound,” sighed John, rolling his eyes, his slow drawl more dramatic with the loss of blood.

“Oh and that would explain why this is the third time I’ve had to change the bandage in as many hours,” whined Rodney, trying to ignore the rivulet of blood, twisting around the bend of John’s elbow, finding a path down his forearm.

Steeling himself, Rodney tore at the Velcro of his vest pocket, retrieving another bandage with trembling hands. Sweat beaded on his face, trickled down his back and made his hands clammy as he reached towards the blood stained wrap that hid the damage to John’s arm. Rodney’s breathing seemed loud and fast and he hoped it wasn’t as bad as it sounded in his head.

With a deep breath, he reached out to do what was necessary when John’s hand suddenly covered his, startling him. Eyes darting to John’s, Rodney questioned him with a look. John answered, his eyes fluttering, a testament to his weakening state, “You want me to do it?”

Rodney shook his head, wiping his face on his sleeve. He replied firmly, hiding his anxiety, “No, no, I can do this.”

John nodded weakly and closed his eyes. Rodney was grateful for that. There wouldn’t be a witness to his struggle. Not that John would belittle him, they were past that. He hoped. And yet, there were some things that Rodney still wasn’t comfortable revealing to his lover and this one was just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

Edging closer, Rodney wiped his sweaty palms on his pants, ignoring the nanosecond of clenching before he looked up at the bandage, the blood. His eyes were transfixed on it and he licked his dry lips, imagining he could actually taste it in the air. As fingers unwound the bloody wrap, Rodney’s jaw tightened. Sweat rolled freely down his face, getting in his eyes, stinging them. It built up on his lip until his tongue dabbed at it, the saltiness mingling with the metal taste in the air.

Staring at the red that coated his fingers, Rodney slowly rubbed them together, noting the feel against his skin. There lay a danger he’d fought so hard against. Every day since arriving on Atlantis he fought against it. Every day since he and John had found each other he resisted it, willed it away when it demanded attention. He was good at hiding it, one day at a time. It was times like this, when it was so close…so close, that it was the hardest.

Hastily wiping bloody fingers on his pants, Rodney quickly changed the dressing on John’s arm, working automatically even as his pulse raced and fear heightened his senses. John was losing too much blood for such a minor wound and Rodney had to assume that the arrow had been tipped with some sort of anticoagulant.

Finishing the job, he tilted his head, listening for darts, disappointed when he still heard them off in the distance. With no other choice, he settled on the floor behind John and shifted him until he could rest against his chest, hoping it was more comfortable than the cold, rock wall. The fact that John didn’t put up much fuss was disconcerting.

Time was working against them. John was losing blood and Rodney knew if they didn’t get back soon, he was going to have to make a decision for John’s sake, for his life. Not really a choice. Time ticked by slowly, measured by the lengthening shadows and the drone of darts taking away the lifeblood of the planet.

Another hour passed and John was listing sideways, his arm still bleeding. Rodney closed his eyes with a sigh of resignation and helped John lie on his side, mindful of the injured arm. Removing his jacket, he slid it under John’s head and got a mumbled ‘thanks.’

Glancing at the bandage, then at the entrance of the cave hoping for a reprieve, none came and Rodney took a deep breath to soothe his nerves. No help there and with trembling hands he removed the blood soaked bandage. Tossing it in the corner, Rodney’s eyes were wide as he stared at the wound, a small trickle of blood welling up before it dripped down the Colonel’s arm.

Shifting to kneel behind John, Rodney knew what he had to do. Knowing and doing were two different things and he moved his hand closer, grasping John’s arm just below the oozing wound. The blood eased under his hand, slipping between his fingers, coating them. Rodney sucked in a sharp breath. He was stalling, trying to convince himself this was necessary and not just an excuse. He couldn’t even deny he didn’t want this, didn’t want it for a very long time. Very slowly, his heartbeat matched the pulsing flow of John’s blood, Rodney leaned over and did what he had to do.

*********

Watching John, Rodney tried to control his ragged breath. As the fire inside burned fierce, it was harder than he imagined to just stay his place. Arms wrapped around his knees, his eyes never leaving John’s still form at the other side of the cave. He’d made himself move earlier, shortly after he’d done what he needed to do. To stay close was only inviting danger.

It was dark but the moonlight was just enough to turn everything a shade of gray. Even with the limited light, Rodney could see John begin to stir and he shuddered against the urge to move closer. Hugging his knees tighter, he dropped his head and concentrated on breathing normally, denying himself what he wanted most. He didn’t think it would be this hard to resist his nature once released, but then he’d never really embraced what he was either. There were anomalies in his make-up that allowed him to exist on the fringes of normal, at least until now. Once John woke there would be no hiding it.

Hearing him move, Rodney clenched his fists, his nails digging into his palms, drawing blood. His senses heightened, he could smell it. It didn’t mask the smell of John’s blood that still lingered in the air. John’s tired, concerned voice broke the silence, “Rodney?”

Shivering, Rodney answered, his own voice raspy and raw with need, “Here.” Sweat poured from his pores as his fists tightened, resisting with all his strength. He turned his head enough to gaze at John, but kept his eyes carefully lidded, stealing a few more minutes of normal. Muscles tensing as John moved closer, Rodney squeezed his eyes shut, his heart pounding sharply in his chest as the need intensified with John’s proximity.

As John’s hand made contact, Rodney jerked but didn’t look up. He ground out hoarsely, “Don’t.”

John edged closer, his hold on Rodney tightening, “Don’t what? What’s wrong?”

Rodney’s head shot up and he hissed sharply, baring sharp teeth, “Don’t touch me.” It wasn’t his brightest move, for it only accentuated the changes. He knew from experience that his eyes were a brighter, eerie blue and if that weren’t enough, his teeth would be a dead giveaway. Reality was a much more daunting than anything you’d see in the movies.

John was already scrambling away, fear so clear in his face that even the dark couldn’t hide it. His hand instinctually went to his thigh, pulling his gun and pointing it at the threat… at Rodney. “What the fuck?”

Rodney retreated as well, his back pressed against the cave wall as he held up his hands in defense. Fear replaced his other urges as he pleaded, “Don’t shoot. Oh god, don’t shoot. I won’t hurt you, I promise.” He expected this from others, but not from John and it hurt.

The gun in John’s hand was wavering slightly, but fear-induced adrenalin could do that. John was staring wide eyed at him, his mouth moving but unable to speak. His free hand darted to the site of the arrow graze, fingers touching it lightly before pulling away when he felt nothing but smooth skin. He couldn’t stop his eyes from glancing at the injury and he stared back at McKay in shocked disbelief, “What the hell did you do?”

“You were bleeding too much,” breathed Rodney. He kept his face down, hiding the worst of it, reminders of what he was, hoping it might erase the terror in John’s eyes. Rodney tried reasoning, “I didn’t want you to find out this way.”

“So you just helped yourself to my blood,” gasped John, his breathing loud in the small cave.

Rodney shook his head adamantly, “No, no. I just fixed it so the bleeding would stop. I would never hurt you. Please, I can explain.”

“You’re a goddamn vampire, McKay. You’re a vampire and I’m just now finding out about it.” John was getting angrier as he spoke, his voice rising, “We’ve been together for months and I’m just now finding out my boyfriend… my lover is a blood sucking vampire.”

Rodney flinched from the hurtful words, his gut clenching painfully. Unconsciously licking his lips as he tried to speak, he could hear John’s breath catch even from where he sat. He dropped his head, embarrassed. “I don’t drink blood. Not normally. I mean I can. I just don’t.” He lifted his head and stared at John, desperate, almost fearful as he asked, “What are you gonna do?”

“Do, Rodney? What the fuck do you expect me to do? You’re a vampire!.” Rodney attempted to rise but John leveled his gun, his voice demanding, “Don’t move. Stay where you are.”

Nodding quickly, Rodney froze, his voice pleading, “Please, just let me explain…”

Any further conversation was interrupted by Ronon calling on the radio. “Sheppard.”

Frustrated and angry, John keyed his radio, “What?”

“You want us to come after you?” asked Ronon, unfazed by John’s outburst.

“We’ll meet you at the gate,” answered Sheppard, still glaring at Rodney. Never taking his eyes off him, John pointed his gun and gestured, “Get up.”

Rodney was begging as he looked up, “Please, Colonel… John. Don’t tell them. I‘ll tell you everything, just don’t tell them.” John didn’t waver. Rodney’s shoulders slumped and he shook his head gravely. “They’ll kill me.” There, he said it, his biggest fear. Years of hiding, years of denying what he was, years of fear that it would all come down to this.

“Just shut up, McKay,” ordered John…Sheppard…Colonel. Best to think of him that way now. Rodney hesitated, fighting against his own emotions. John barked at him, “Move.”

Lurching to his feet, Rodney wrapped his arms around himself, all the fight gone and waited until John motioned him to the entrance. It was still dark out, but Rodney had no problem leading them toward the gate. He spoke quickly, hoping he could make a difference in the time he had. John may still hate him but he might yet hold on to his secret. Already he could feel the changes dissipating, decreasing his changes of discovery with the others. Rodney rambled nervously, “I know how this looks, but it’s not as bad as you think. I’m not a like other vampires. I don’t need the blood to survive.” Rodney stopped and turned to look at Sheppard, “I’m not a threat.”

“You looked pretty damn threatening back there, McKay,” snapped Sheppard, waving him forward with the gun.

Rodney lifted his hands, “I wouldn’t hurt you. That’s why I didn’t want you touching me, but it’s fine now. Really. Look.” He gestured to his face, opening his mouth to reveal a very normal set of teeth. “It’s already going away.”

John seemed to hesitate as he stared at Rodney’s face and his gun hand faltered. Rodney stepped closer but was stopped cold when the gun came up again, unwavering this time. “Back off.”

Stumbling back, Rodney tripped and fell hard, wincing as his leg impacted with a rock. He stared up at Sheppard’s stony face and mumbled, “Sorry.” He hurried to his feet, reaching for the sore spot on his thigh as he limped forward, his eyes darting back to Sheppard as he walked. Rodney asked solemnly, “What are you gonna do?”

“This isn’t just about you, McKay,” said John, clearly annoyed and irritated.

Rodney spun sharply, and snarled, “At this very moment this is about me. If you take me back there and tell them I’m a vampire just what do you think they’ll do?” He ranted, fear rising in his voice, “They’ll brandish crucifixes and wooden stakes in some half-assed conviction that it’s what they are supposed to do.” Looking at John, he implored, “I’ve lived on Atlantis for almost two years and nothing bad has happened. Don’t I get some points for that?”

John stopped, his voice low as he spoke, “You lied to me.”

“No, I didn’t. I just never told you. There was no need.”

That probably wasn’t the best answer as Rodney watched John’s face go red with anger. “No need?” John stormed closer, stopping short when he realized how close he gotten. He growled, “We were lovers. Don’t you think I deserved the truth?”

Rodney snapped, shouting, his chin raised defiantly, “And what would you have done? Look at how you’re reacting. You’re ready to throw me to the wolves. Forget that we’ve been sleeping together. You expect me to be sorry for not telling you.” He shouted above his hurt, crossing his arms. “Well I’m not.” Rodney’s voice faltered and he shook his head sadly, “I’m just sorry that I thought you might actually treat me better than the rest of the vigilantes that destroy what they don’t understand.” Turning sharply to hide the hurt, Rodney stormed towards the gate.

********

John stared at Rodney’s back, the gun in his hand dropping limply to his side. Of course Rodney had a point, but damn it, he was a vampire. A shiver ran down his back at the thought of it all. It was bad enough they lived in a galaxy full of life-sucking vampires, he finds out he’s been sleeping with one. He really didn’t think he could get over that, even if it was Rodney.

********

Rodney was stunned beyond words when Sheppard simply escorted him through the gate, offered to debrief Elizabeth and calmly explained that he had been hit by an arrow but something must have sped up the healing because other than a little lightheadedness he was fine. Rodney was too shocked to speak and he nodded in agreement at the proper places. The infirmary visit was no less awkward, John offering only clipped responses as he answered Carson’s questions. Rodney didn’t even complain about his leg, making his escape when Sheppard argued over the prescribed bed rest.

Entering his room, Rodney was already in the throes of a full blown panic attack. The door barely closed before his knees gave out and he slumped to the floor. This was the closest he’d ever come to being discovered and it scared the hell out of him. Even worse was knowing he’d lost John in the process and he had no idea how to fix that. He sat on the floor, his arms wrapped around himself as he rocked back and forth, his lungs constricting as he gasped for air. After several minutes of anxiety induced panic he managed to stand long enough to climb into bed. He could smell John in his bed, mocking his absence. Pulling the pillow closer, taking in the John’s strong scent, Rodney curled around it as he fell asleep.

Chapter Two

Everything changed after that. Sheppard didn’t actively avoid him, but the little things that marked their relationship were glaringly absent. Rodney found himself eating alone more often than not. There was no one to bring him coffee or force him to bed when he stayed late in the labs and it was Radek that shoved coffee at him when he found him slumped over his computer most mornings. He returned to his quarters only long enough to shower and change. He’d since returned John’s things, getting nothing but a ‘thanks’ for his efforts but John’s smell still lingered. Rodney’s room was just another grim reminder of the loneliness he’d fought against all his life.

On the nights when sleep eluded him, he roamed the depths of Atlantis. He loved the nights, always had. No surprise there, not when one considered what he was. Early on, when they first arrived in Atlantis, Rodney had discovered the comfort the darkness offered and found a small, out of the way room surrounded on three sides by glass. It was a wonderful view of the ocean depths and even on the brightest days it offered shelter from the glaring sun. On his worst days he could close off the world and let down his defenses. The constant vigilance against discovery was tiring, even on his best days. John had given him a chance to let down the walls, if only a little. He missed the closeness. He missed John.

As days turned to weeks, John stayed away and Rodney pulled further into himself, some days forgetting the old habits. It no longer seemed important. He had finally tasted John and it tore at him. He could feel it in his blood now, feel the change and it was getting harder to deny.

More than once Radek had picked him up off the floor where he’d collapsed from not eating. Food no longer tasted as it once had, and he couldn’t make himself eat the necessary amounts to stave off the hypoglycemia. He hated those that thought it a weakness. He often wondered what they would think if they knew the sacrifices he made to live amongst them. It was a choice he’d made in order to do his work.

Without his work there was no escape from the loneliness that haunted his days and nights. Even before he and John had gotten together, he wasn’t alone, not like now. They’d been friends first and had spent a lot of the down time finding ways to be together. Missions were fun then, even with the lurking danger. Now they were just awkward and uncomfortable. It was no longer fun when Sheppard refused to talk. The only thing that had kept Rodney from leaving was the occasional fleeting glimpse of longing he thought he saw in John’s eyes. He would blink and it would be gone, replaced by the mask of indifference. It was time to move on. It was time to let go.

He made the decision and spoke to Elizabeth. She wasn’t too happy with him, spent an hour trying to get inside his head. Rodney remained adamant, knowing there was nothing she could say that would change his mind. It was over and her opinion wasn’t the one that mattered.

Moving deeper into Atlantis, he holed up in his little sanctuary. He ended up staring absently at the schools of fish darting back and forth before he drifted into peaceful oblivion.

He had no idea how long he stayed. He was lightheaded and shaky when he woke indicating it had been awhile. The second clue came when he returned to his quarters to shower and change and found Sheppard waiting on him. Rodney staggered in, not bothering to turn up the lights. What was the point? Sheppard might as well know all of it. Rodney ignored him as he scrounged his desk for a powerbar.

Sheppard followed him into the room, the door shutting firmly behind him. Rodney ate the bar in two bites and looked for another. Having Sheppard in his room, up close and personal wasn’t helping Rodney’s appetite. Opening a drawer to search, he was grabbed by the arm and spun around by a very irate Colonel. “Where have you been? You’ve been out of radio contact for almost a day.”

Reaching for his ear, Rodney realized his radio was missing. He shrugged, “Hmph. Forgot to put it on. Sorry.” He jerked from Sheppard’s grasp and continued his search for food, only to be pulled away again.

Sheppard growled in his face, “Forget the damn food. Where were you?”

Rodney stared at Sheppard’s hand that had his arm in a death grip and snarled, “I need to eat, unless of course you want to pick me up off the floor. Given the way things are, you’re more likely to leave me to die. So forgive me if your needs don’t quite concern me at the moment.”

John stumbled back as if he’d been physically hit. His voice was tinged with hurt and disbelief, “Is that what you think?”

Finding food, Rodney opened it and took a big bite. He spoke around it as he waved his hands, “You won’t talk to me. You don’t want to be around me. Ever since we came back, you haven’t had the time of day for me. What do you expect me to think?”

There was no response and Rodney closed his eyes with a sigh, “Look, just forget it. I took myself off the team, so you don’t even have to pretend you don’t hate me. If you’re real lucky you won’t even have to see me but for an occasional staff meeting.” Rodney sadly shook his head, “Now if you’ll excuse me. I need a shower. I stink. You know the way out.”

He could feel Sheppard’s eyes on him and Rodney hid a shiver, making his way to the bathroom instead. As much as he’d convinced himself that it was over between them, it didn’t hurt any less than it did weeks ago. Rodney looked at Sheppard, who didn’t seem inclined to leave, and huffed, “Suit yourself.” He went in the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

It was ludicrous to believe Sheppard would be gone when he came out, but Rodney was hopeful. It saved him the shock of finding him still sitting on his bed when he reemerged from the bathroom. Rubbing a towel through his hair, he grabbed clean shirt. Shaking his head and too tired for pleasantries, he asked quietly, “What do you want?”

Leaning forward, Sheppard ran his fingers through his hair and Rodney closed his eyes, wishing it were his fingers. With an inward sigh, he moved to the far side of the room, needing to distance himself. John had that hurt look in his eye for a fraction of a second before it was gone, the mask back in place. “I don’t want you to leave the team.”

Rodney snorted, “See, I missed that part. I got the distinct impression you never wanted to see me again. You’ll forgive me if I misunderstood the glares and avoidance tactics.”

Sheppard shot to his feet and entered Rodney’s space, forcing him back. He pointed a finger in Rodney’s chest, emphasizing each word with a poke, “You could have told me.”

Chin jutting forward, Rodney slapped Sheppard’s hand away, “And I’d have lost everything a lot sooner than I did.” There was no hiding the pain it cost him to say that.

The anger went out of John and he slumped into the nearest chair, “I don’t want to lose you, Rodney. I just don’t know if we can fix this.” He looked up, “I don’t know if I can get past the whole vampire thing.”

“I can’t change what I am.” Rodney settled on the bed, giving them both some space.

“I know that,” sighed John, looking at Rodney for the first time with something other than apathy or anger. “I thought you trusted me.”

“It’s not a matter of trust. We’re living in a galaxy full of life-sucking aliens. I didn’t think you’d take this very well.” He paused, adding a smirk, “Seems I was right.”

“Yeah, well I’m here now. Can we start with some answers?”

Taking a deep breath, Rodney let it out loudly, “What do you want to know?”

John was grateful for the darkness as he asked, “How did you become a vampire?”

Rodney snorted, “I was born this way. My mother was a vampire.”

“And your dad?”

“Human.”

“Is that normal?”

Shrugging, Rodney answered, “Sometimes. He thought he loved her. Maybe he did. I don’t know. The fact that he took me and my sister away from her when I was six makes you wonder.”

John cringed, “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. It was a long time ago,” said Rodney. It was still hard to talk about it. He only remembered how his dad dragged them away from their mother and refused to speak of her from that moment on.

The silence that descended on the room was deafening. John asked another question, “So I thought vampires only came out at night.”

“We don’t like the sun but some can tolerate it for short periods. Me, more than most, because of my half blood status.”

“But it still bothers you?” questioned John, curious.

Rodney nodded, “You didn’t think I bitched just to hear myself bitch did you?”

John smiled, “Ummm.”

“Oh, haha,” sneered Rodney, the darkness hiding the small smile that threatened. He quieted and added more seriously, determined to give Sheppard the answers he was looking for. It was time for honesty. “I don’t like being in the sun. It’s uncomfortable. The suit helped on P3M-736, but the UV was so intense that by the end of the day I was…I was hurting.”

“Hurting how?” There was genuine concern in John’s voice.

“It’s hard to explain. Even a few hours in the sun can make me uncomfortable. It’s like an annoying tingle. An itch I can’t scratch.”

John turned toward him, “How bad was it, Rodney?”

Rodney shrugged his shoulders, embarrassed to admit how miserable he’d been that day. Everyone thought he was being overdramatic about the effects of UV damage and he hated the scornful looks he’d gotten for even mentioning it. Even Carson had rolled his eyes in contempt. Rodney suffered through the night rather than admit how sick he really was. “It’s like having your nerves exposed. That was the worst I’ve ever been. I was sick most of the night.”

“Shit, Rodney. Why didn’t you say something?” John paled, “What about when we flew into the sun?”

“Not so bad. We weren’t out there very long, not like the day I spent traipsing after Ford.”

“So you stay up all night working because of the sun,” said John, understanding dawning.

“No, I stay up at night because there aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done that needs to be done and still survive in this wonderful place we call home,” joked Rodney. Although it wasn’t far from the truth. “I prefer to work at night and sleep during the day if I have a choice. Unfortunately, that isn’t possible here on Atlantis.”

John asked guiltily, “So, me dragging you from the lab in the middle of the night was the wrong thing to do?”

Rodney shook his head, “No, I need to sleep sometime. I get caught up in my work and forget sometimes how late it really is.” He didn’t add that he missed John showing up to take him home at night.

“Ah.” John shifted nervously for several seconds then bit the bullet. “So, the blood thing…”

Rodney squirmed at the thought of John’s blood. It brought back the memories of that day in the cave and he swallowed hard before answering, “I don’t need it if that’s what you’re afraid of.”

John visible shuddered, “But you can suck blood?”

Slowly, Rodney nodded, “Yes.”

“But you don’t need to?”

“No.”

“But you want to?”

“Is there a point to this, or we just doing twenty questions?” snapped Rodney. This is not where he wanted this conversation going. “Look, I can drink blood. I just choose not to. It’s hard to find a good source this far from home and I’d rather not alienate the few friends I have. It wasn’t something I ever really did.”

“I thought you needed blood to survive.”

“Humph. Another myth. Food is fine, just not as efficient.” Rodney blushed and stammered, “It’s why I have to eat so much. My body doesn’t process it as well.”

John frowned. “So the hypoglycemia is because of the vampire thing?”

“Yes.”

“That sucks,” quipped John. Realizing his slip his head shot up and he muttered, “Sorry.”

“Forget it.”

“Can I ask another question?”

Rodney fidgeted, knowing it wouldn’t be a good one but couldn’t deny John. He tried to joke, “Sure. I’m past the humiliation thing, lets move on to my dignity.”

“I’m not trying to…”

Interrupting, Rodney twirled his finger impatiently, “I know. Just ask your question.”

“When we were in the cave you didn’t want me near you. Why?”

Rodney cursed under his breath. Knowing he had to answer this question and doing it were two different things. He’d hoped John hadn’t remembered that part of the mission. “This is so hard to explain without freaking you out, so just listen before you say anything. Okay?”

John just nodded. Rodney couldn’t sit still any longer and started pacing anxiously. It didn’t help that he could smell John. Could smell the sweat and a subtle hint of fear. Rodney took a breath and started talking. “I’ve never tasted the blood of someone close to me. The few times I tried, it was always a stranger. That’s how it’s supposed to work. Well, most of the time anyway. If…when…I…” Rodney paced, his fingers dancing nervously as he tried to find words that wouldn’t scare John away. “Damn it.”

“Just tell me, Rodney. It can’t be any worse than what I already know.”

“Ye of little faith,” sighed Rodney, sinking back on the bed.

“Just so you know, this isn’t helping with the freak out,” teased John, forcing a smile to reassure Rodney. It was unconvincing.

“I don’t normally do the blood thing, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to.” He hesitated before adding, wringing his hands as he spoke, “With you it’s harder to resist. On the planet… I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t let you bleed to death when I could stop it.”

“About that. How did you do that?” A glare from Rodney and John obviously remembered he was supposed to just listen. He said contritely, “Sorry.”

Rodney felt the sweat begin to form on his face as he tried to speak, “I uh… when I feed I can heal the wound after. I had to try it. It worked.” His hands were beginning to trembling just thinking about it. He ducked his head and mumbled, “I wanted to.”

John stared at him, shocked by the admission. Rodney rambled anxiously, “That’s not to say I couldn’t stop myself because I could. I do. I mean I would never do it without your permission, not the real thing. This was more of an emergency thing and in no way like a real feeding. As much as I’d love to do that, I wouldn’t. The thing in the cave was just a taste, but I stopped. I didn’t go through with it. I couldn’t let myself. I didn’t have your permission. If it was really a feeding I would have asked your permission because the bloodlust comes after and that can be really intense. Well at least that’s what I’ve heard. I’ve never really wanted to go that route with someone and to be honest I never trusted any one enough to try. Even in the cave it was hard to control how good it felt to have you that close but I couldn’t do it. I really can’t imagine how intense it would be after a real feeding. I mean I’ve done the feeding thing a time or two but never with someone I lo...” Seeing John’s pale face, Rodney took a breath and deflated, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to say all that.” He muttered to himself, “So not helping yourself here, Rodney.”

In a half strangled whisper, John only uttered one word, “Bloodlust?”

The word alone sent a shiver down Rodney’s spine, making his heart race. Senses alerted to John’s increasing fear, Rodney tried to backpedal. “I should go. I’ve said too much.” Lurching to his feet, he was out the door before he realized he’d fled his own room.

********

John blindly watched Rodney leave but couldn’t raise his voice to stop him. His thoughts drifted to the conversation, to Rodney’s barely contained excitement as he spoke. His fear that he’d said too much and yes, John was freaked, but not as bad as he thought he’d be. Knowing more about Rodney’s nature, about what he would or wouldn’t do had helped allay some of John’s worst fears.

Mostly he was curious about the bloodlust Rodney mentioned and wondered if it was anything like the way he felt when he was influenced by the retrovirus. He’d been really glad that Rodney had stayed away for most of the transformation and that he’d been restrained. When the lucidity left him all he had was an insatiable need for Rodney and only the restraints had kept him from taking him. He’d never told Rodney of his need to possess him, terrified it would scare him away. If the bloodlust Rodney spoke of was anything like that than he sympathized with Rodney and could totally understand his reluctance to say anything.

If it was as he said, than he also had to credit Rodney with his restraint. John doubted he could have held back without being tied down. Hell, he still wanted Rodney, but the whole vampire thing left him wondering if they’d ever find a common ground again. He missed Rodney, missed him in his bed at night but more than anything he missed the time they spent together. He just couldn’t quite forget Rodney was a vampire and move on.

**********

Rodney was expecting John to avoid him completely after his confession, but leave it to Sheppard to always do the unexpected. As usual, especially of late, Rodney was still working when Sheppard found him. “Hey.”

Slumped over his computer, Rodney spared him a brief glance. “What do you want?”

“Well, for one we have a mission tomorrow and you really should get some sleep.”

“I resigned, remember?” said Rodney, idly pushing keys, looking depressed.

John took up residence on the edge of Rodney’s desk, “Yeah about that. I think you should reconsider.”

Resting his head in his hand as he continued to tap on the keyboard, Rodney frowned, “Why? Nothing’s changed.”

“Exactly, nothing’s changed. You’re still the same Rodney McKay that came to Atlantis two years ago, arrogant, temperamental…” teased John.

Rodney sneered back, “Don’t insult the man that regulates your water temperature, Colonel.”

John smiled then dropped a hand on Rodney’s shoulder. “We can still work together, can’t we?” It was the first time since the planet that John had touched him. He could feel the heat of John’s hand even through his shirt and it took all his control not to react to it but then it was gone.

“Sure, we’re both mature adults. We’ll I am. The jury is still out on you,” joked Rodney, anything to alleviate the ache in his gut. It didn’t help and he had to ask, “So, you and me? Any word on that?”

John shifted nervously, his hands gripping the edge of the desk a little tighter as he sighed, “I don’t know. I want to. It’s just…um…”

“The whole vampire thing,” supplied Rodney, solemnly. He knew it wasn’t something they’d resolve overnight. The fact that John was speaking to him again was more than he could have hoped for.

“Yeah.” John ducked his head. “Sorry, I just need some time.”

Rodney nodded weakly, “It’s okay. I was pretty much expecting a ‘no fucking way’, so this is a definite improvement on that.”

“Like I could stay away from your irresistible charm and wonderful personality,” teased John, flashing Rodney a smile.

“Asshole,” snorted Rodney, pushing John away from his desk. “Go away, I have work to do.” He couldn’t stop his mouth from upturning just a little at the banter. He’d missed it.

John was still grinning as he turned to leave, “Don’t stay up too late. Mission tomorrow.”

Rodney waved him off. “I’ll go shortly. I just need to finish this first and I can’t trust incompetent morons to leave it alone in my absence.”

“Night, Rodney.”

“Night,” replied Rodney, already happily absorbed in his work for the first time in weeks.

Chapter Three

“Remind me again about the part where the natives are harmless,” scoffed Rodney, wiping away the sweat on his brow for the umpteenth time. “Because you know, being held at gun point on a death march across barren wasteland has me confused.”

“Teyla and Ronon will find us,” grunted Sheppard, none too thrilled with the situation they’d found themselves in. There were with about twenty prisoners, men and women, chained at the ankles and being led across a wide expanse of desert towards the native’s encampment. The guards had only shrugged when John tried to explain that they weren’t part of the group.

Rodney rolled his eyes, using his irritation to distract him from the pins and needles on his exposed skin. “Oh sure, when they wake up the natives will happily hand over the gate address to wherever the hell we are.”

Sheppard growled, “Shut up, McK…” His words died off when Rodney twisted around to glare at him. He winced, “You look like shit.”

“Yeah, because this is fun for me,” Rodney smirked. He was sweating profusely, but given the high temperatures reflecting off the desert sand, that wasn’t surprising. They’d been walking for several hours now and Rodney’s face and arms were already bright red. He looked miserable, holding his arms behind his back where his bulky frame offered a bit of shade.

Chained behind Rodney, John could do nothing to help alleviate the sun’s damaging effects. The hunch of his shoulders was the only indication of Rodney’s discomfort. Stepping closer, John dropped a hand to Rodney’s shoulder only to have him flinch away with a hiss of pain. Taking his hand away, John asked with alarm, “Rodney?”

Rodney hissed through gritted teeth, “Sorry, I’m just a little sensitive right now.”

“You gonna be okay?”

Nodding, Rodney looked up at the sun. “How much longer you figure they’ll walk us?”

“I don’t know. Not much out here to stop for.” There were mountains on the far horizon, ten miles away or better. Distances were difficult to judge without any landmarks.

They walked in silence for several more hours before Rodney spoke again, his voice raspy. Who would thought we’d get caught in a civil war and sent to Death Valley our first day back on the job? I really need to read the fine print of my contract, because I’m pretty sure I didn’t agree to this.”

Rodney struggled to stay on his feet. They’d only stopped for water a couple times but it did little good. John wasn’t fairing much better, but he was more used to the sun and heat than Rodney was.

“Sure you did. It falls under ‘It’s not just a job, it’s an adventure,’” chimed John, trying to take Rodney’s mind off his misery.

“Humph. Have I mentioned I really hate the outdoors?” Rodney stumbled and John was right there, grabbing his elbow to keep him from falling head first into the sand.

“Not today. I’ll make a note of it.” Steadying McKay as best he could, he fell back into line. Some help was acceptable. Too much was frowned upon by the guards. His back still hurt a bit from the whip mark of earlier. The guards weren’t overly cruel but they had rules they expected to be followed. If nothing else, John was a fast learner.

Rodney was staggering on his feet by the time they made the edge of a stand of trees. It was just like an Earth oasis, complete with a large pond in the middle of the lush green landscape and rock houses of all sizes in the space available. According to the guards they would be mining and this would be their home. Mining was the only source of trade with other worlds and they weren’t opposed to using slave labor for financial gain.

Rodney stopped with everyone else, never bothering to look up until John nudged him from behind. “I think were home, Toto.”

Blinking back from a daze, Rodney sank to his knees and practically cried with relief, “Oh, thank god.” He glanced back at John. “I really hope this isn’t a mirage.”

John smiled, “Not unless we’re both delirious.” Seeing the guards headed their way, he helped Rodney to his feet.

The guard handed their chains off to the new guard and gave them instructions. “You will be assigned your sleeping quarters and given a meal. Tomorrow you will work.”

The second guard led them to one of the largest dwellings in the compound, big enough to house the entire slave population from the looks of it. Inside was a long hallway that ran the length of the structure with doorways every three meters or so. Walking the hall, John peered inside those rooms that were open. The two occupants of each room stared back, some more friendly than others. They didn’t appear maltreated and John found himself sighing inwardly. Maybe they would get through this and survive until a rescue was mounted. The guard stopped and pointed to an empty room. Their chains were removed before they were pushed inside and left alone.

Rodney half crawled to the oversized pallet and curled up in ball. John followed, more dignified but no less tired and knelt beside Rodney. “You okay?” He was afraid to touch him after his reaction earlier.

“Not really.” His skin was flaming red and blisters were already forming on his face and neck. He rolled enough to see the shock in John’s eyes and tried to sound reassuring. “It’ll peel by morning and I’ll be fine.”

“You gonna get sick?” asked John, remember what Rodney had said about exposure.

Rodney shrugged, wincing as he moved to get comfortable and sighed wearily, “Right now I just want to sleep.”

“You should eat when it gets here.”

“Of course, then I’ll have something to throw up later,” quipped Rodney, closing his eyes tight as his body trembled with pain.

Eyeing a bucket of water, John scrambled to it and hauled it closer. Filling the cup hanging off the side, he drank a bit before offering it to Rodney. “You should at least drink.”

With shaky hands and John’s help, Rodney drank three cups before he sank back onto the pallet. John wished he could do more and wondered how he’d never seen this reaction in Rodney before. They’d lived and worked together for two years and he’d never suspected. He asked guiltily, “How did you hide this from everyone, Rodney?”

Sweating and shivering, Rodney answered, “It’s not so hard. Most people go their separate ways when we return from a mission. That and we seldom ended up in the sun for a full day. This is as bad as it usually gets.”

“Damn it, Rodney. We were together for six months and I never noticed.”

“You weren’t supposed to.” Closing his pain filled eyes, Rodney curled up tighter. It didn’t make John feel any better.

Settling as close as he dared without actually making contact, he waited for the food to arrive, taking time to recon. The room was small, but they had the basic amenities, a place to sleep, water, food…eventually. He hoped it was soon. A day of walking and he was starving. Rodney needed to eat, but John doubted he could force the issue.

A woman appeared with a tray and set it down with a nod, “Tomorrow you will have to join the others if you wish to eat.” She left just as quickly as she arrived.

“Nice talking to you,” John said sarcastically as the door shut behind her.

Rodney stirred, mumbling groggily, “Is that food?”

Glancing at the tray, John was surprised that the food not only looked good it actually smelled good too. There were two bowls of what looked like stew and two chunks of bread. “You hungry?”

“Not really,” muttered Rodney, John watched as Rodney sat up. His arms and face had lost the blistered look and now had a dead, scaly look. Rodney twitched whenever his shirt rubbed the exposed areas. He looked pathetic but didn’t complain even as he reached for more water. Looking at John guiltily holding his half empty bowl, Rodney nodded at it. “You should eat. No point wasting it.”

“You need to eat too,” John countered, taking another bite of stew.

“Maybe later.” Rodney lay back down, biting back a moan.

John winced, “I’ll save you the bread. I don’t think the stew will keep.” Rodney drifted into a restless sleep and John finished off the stew. He didn’t know when they’d eat again, but looking at the other workers---prisoners, it looked like they ate regularly.

Setting aside the bread, John stretched out next to Rodney. The pallet wasn’t roomy but it was big enough for both of them and with Rodney curled up to one side, John didn’t have to worry about touching him. Ironically, John really wanted to touch him, offer some semblance of comfort. It was harder than he thought it would be seeing Rodney suffer in silence. The vampire thing aside, John hated seeing Rodney hurting.

*******

It was still dark the next time he woke, but was instantly alerted to the sound of retching. Rodney had somehow managed to crawl to the furthest corner where he was hunched over, back heaving as his stomach convulsed. John scrambled off the makeshift bed and made his way over to kneel beside him, unsure what he could do to help. Rodney had one hand braced on the wall, but it was shaking so badly that John feared he would fall head first into the wall.

Hesitating, he gently touched Rodney’s arm to get his attention. “Let me help.”

Embarrassed, Rodney shook his head and gulped, “Go back to sleep.”

“No.” John eased Rodney’s arm off the wall and wrapped an arm around his chest, letting him lean against his shoulder. Rodney struggled for only a second before another wave of sickness hit him and only John’s support kept him from falling over. It went like that for the next two hours and John wasn’t sure which of them was shaking more by the time it was over. Both of them were soaked from sweating and Rodney was shivering in John’s arms. “Think you can move?”

Rodney mumbled, his voice weak, “Sure.” He made no attempt to move and when he got heavier, John realized he’d fallen asleep. Or worse, he’d passed out. He hadn’t eaten since that morning. Pushing Rodney off his shoulder, John panicked when he didn’t stir.

He tried shaking him awake, but still nothing, “Come on, buddy. Don’t do this to me.”

With some effort, John managed to manhandle Rodney to the bed where he started with some light slaps to wake him. Rodney felt cold and clammy, but John wasn’t sure if it was from sweating earlier or the onset of hypoglycemic shock. His hands were shaking, his voice rising with worry as he shook Rodney firmly “McKay. Wake up.”

Rolling over, away from John’s touch, Rodney muttered, “G’way.”

Sighing with relief, John pushed, making Rodney sit up. “No way. You need to eat something. I didn’t just hold you through exorcist puking so you could die on me.”

Rodney’s eyes were rolling back in his head as he lolled in John’s arms, “T’rd.”

Grabbing for the leftover bread from supper, John tore a bite off and stuffed it in Rodney’s mouth. “Eat.”

“Mrrmph.” Rodney chewed absently, his chin resting on his chest as he swallowed.

John tore off another piece of bread and fed it to him. Halfway through the chunk of break, he handed it to Rodney and let him eat on his own. Starving, Rodney finished it quickly and John handed him the second piece, “Here. Finish it.”

Rodney nodded, “Thanks.” He sat on the bed, legs outstretched, looking exhausted. The skin on his face and arms was peeling in large sheets, adding to his already haggard look.

“You missed some really good stew. It’s the least I can do,” quipped John, falling back on the verbal teasing rather than dwell on Rodney’s condition and the reason for it. It made it easier to deal with if he didn’t think about it too hard.

Smirking, Rodney slid bonelessly back on the bed. “I’ll eat yours tomorrow.” Squinting in the darkened room, he asked tiredly, “What time is it?”

John glanced at his watch and scrunched his face at the time, “Almost four. You should probably sleep. They’ll have us up soon.” Nudging Rodney to scoot over, he fell into bed beside him, feeling awkward about the distance between them.

It would have been too easy to roll over and spoon behind Rodney, considering the circumstances, but he still couldn’t do it. They’d come closer today than they had since Rodney’s revelation but they still had a ways to go before they were truly comfortable again. He couldn’t, with a clear conscience, let Rodney think he was ready for more. With a sigh, he flopped to his back, listening to Rodney’s light snores and finding it oddly comforting as he dozed off.

Chapter Four

Morning came too early and John wasn’t sure he’d even fallen asleep when he began to hear the muted sounds of people moving about outside the door. Sitting up, he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and glanced down at Rodney, still oblivious to anything. Reaching out, he grabbed a shoulder and shook it.

Rodney jerked away and slurred, “L’ve m‘lone.”

“Come on, McKay. We can’t be late our first day of school.” John shifted on the bed and slipped his feet into his shoes before grabbing a drink of water to wash away the night’s taste in his mouth. The room reeked of sickness that he hadn’t noticed the night before.

The smell of it must have hit Rodney about the same time. He paled noticeably and quickly put on his own shoes before stumbling towards the door. Stopping a minute, Rodney looked self-conscious as he vigorously rubbed his arms and face, removing the last traces of dead skin. John looked away until Rodney finished, saving him further embarrassment.

Opening the door, Rodney entered the hallway, then gestured to the door as John started to close it. “Um, you might want to leave that open.”

John nodded and countered cheekily, “I’m not cleaning that up. We paid good money to stay here.”

“Next time I get to book the reservations. The accommodations here really suck,” retorted Rodney, stepping aside to let a few of the other prisoners by. They were speaking quietly and barely gave the new arrivals a passing glance.

He and John followed behind, both men quieting as they exited the barracks. It was still dark, but movement could be heard all around the camp as everyone began to stir and face a new day. The prisoners seemed to move about freely, talking amongst themselves as they all headed in the same general direction.

No guards were in evidence, but it was too dark to really see if they were around or not. John whispered to Rodney as they followed the crowd, “They don’t seem too worried about someone escaping.”

Rodney huffed, “And why should they? They have a carnival game right in their own backyard. They just wait for the ducks to pop their heads up over the sand dune. High score gets the stuffed monkey.”

“So, plan A is a bust,” drawled John, pushing Rodney into the food line.

Eyes wide as he turned to stare at Sheppard, Rodney replied, aghast, “You weren’t seriously considering a return across Death Valley? If they didn’t pick us off in the first ten yards, we’d die of thirst before the day was out.”

John rolled his eyes. “You wouldn’t die of thirst in one day, McKay.”

“You don’t know that,” huffed Rodney, following the lead of the other prisoners and grabbing a bowl and spoon as they shuffled down the line of servers. The food was served quickly and the line moved fast. John and Rodney hesitated after their bowls were filled with some sort of soupy grain and given a piece of bread. There were tables all around and there didn’t seem to be any sort of seating arrangement so they found an empty table and sat down.

Sniffing his food, Rodney shrugged and began eating. He’d eaten several bites before he spoke, “Not bad.” He proceeded to inhale his food in his normal fashion.

John had to agree. It faired better than some of the food he’d eaten during his time in the military. Okay, that wasn’t saying much, but it was still more than he expected from a prison camp. Nothing about the whole set up really made sense and as far as John could tell, he and McKay had simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time. They’d been caught in the crossfire between two warring parties and been swept up with the other prisoners. It was free labor no matter how you looked at it. This wasn’t Earth. Survival was based on who came out alive, not how you got there. As they ate, other men joined them until they were surrounded.

John glanced at the man across from him, noting the weathered face and hardened expression. He pulled his bowl closer and smiled, “So, what’s on the agenda for today?”

The big man snarled back, “Gimme your bread.”

Picking up his bread, John leaned it towards McKay as he smirked, “Want my bread?”

Rodney lifted his head and frowned, having missed the exchange, too busy inhaling his food. He shrugged innocently, “Thanks.” Tearing off a chunk, he noticed the man across from them and stopped mid chew. He leaned into Sheppard and whispered, loud enough to be overheard, “Who’s the ugly guy?”

“He wanted your bread. He doesn’t know about your vindictive streak,” quipped John, never taking his eyes off the man.

The others around them, worried for their own safety, slowly moved away, leaving only the three of them. Rodney swallowed and ducked his head. Taking another bite, he smirked, “I can see that ugly is obviously universal. Which of course makes me wonder if the dull expression normally associated with stupid is a constant in this galaxy as well.” Making sure John still had his eyes straight ahead, Rodney lifted his head and smiled at the man, eyeteeth gleaming. His voice was low and purposeful as he asked menacingly, “You’re not stupid are you?”

The man blanched and his eyes widened. Stuttering an apology, he left his bowl and hurried away. John stared after him and looked sharply at Rodney, who was calmly taking another bite of bread. Rodney shrugged, “What?”

They stared at one another for several seconds before realization dawned and John asked uncertainly, suppressing a shudder. “Don’t tell me you can just turn it off and on like that.”

Rodney shrugged, “Okay, I won’t.”

John cringed. Rodney noticed, his face falling. Shoulders slumping, Rodney ducked his head, hiding the heat that suffused his face. When John remained silent, Rodney stood up, grabbing his bowl. Stammering, he gestured to John’s empty bowl, “You want me to take that?”

Shaking his head, John stared at the empty bowl, chastising himself for reacting as he did. As Rodney moved off, he shook it off and quickly got to his feet to follow. Catching up, he spoke more harshly than he intended as he grabbed for Rodney, “Don’t be going off on your own.”

“I can take care of myself, Colonel,” snapped Rodney, raising his chin in defiance.

John motioned to where they’d been sitting and hissed through gritted teeth, “We don’t need you drawing attention to us, McKay.”

Rodney lifted his chin. “Oh right, like a fight with He-Man over there wouldn’t have brought the guards down on us.”

“This isn’t the place for you to start showing off,” growled John, his anger growing at Rodney’s sudden confidence.

Stopping mid step, Rodney turned sharply on him, the hurt plainly visible. “Is that what you think?” He shook his head. “You’re the one that wanted the truth. Wanted to see the real me. Well, take a good look, Colonel, because I’m tired of hiding.” He walked off without another word.

*******

John spent the next four hours totally pissed at himself as he watched Rodney toiling in the hot sun. They’d gotten separated after their tiff and before John could catch up they’d been marched to the worksite a mile away and put to work. It was a large open pit mine, trails crisscrossing the face and the workers were strung out for several hundred yards, each working a small section of the pit with only a chisel and hammer. Rodney had been put to work about twenty men down from John. When he’d tried moving out of line to join Rodney, John had received a couple new whip marks. He took his rightful place, trying to ignore the fear in Rodney’s eyes as he’d been forced to walk past his friend.

Turned out they were mining for the little glow balls that illuminated their room the night before. Each time a prisoner would find one, a guard would appear, trading the bobble for a drink of water and a token. When the man beside him pulled one out of the rocks and received his token, John waited for the guard to leave before asking, “What’s the token for?”

The dirty miner answered, “It is how we pay for what we need.”

John raised an eyebrow, continuing his work. “Food?”

“No, they will feed you as long as you work. The pay is incentive to work harder. It is nice to have an extra meal sometimes or an extra blanket when the weather turns cold.”

The man on the other side chimed in, smiling, “There is even brew if you wish to spend your money on it.”

John talked amiably with his workmates, discussing the ins and outs of the camp. It seemed they were given run of the camp. Anyone caught trying to escape was shot on sight. Many of the prisoners were content to have a couple meals a day in return for their labor. Life in the Pegasus galaxy was such that even the simplest mind could comprehend a good thing when they saw it.

The natives called themselves Telosians and had an early warning system to combat the Wraith problem. With enough warning they could vanish into the deeper mines to escape culling. They knew the tunnels far better than the Wraith and after years of outwitting them, the Wraith had given up, although, the last two years had brought an occasional visit from the white ones.

They lived an isolated existence, mining the light balls and using them to trade for whatever they needed. The balls brought a high price on most worlds and the Telosians didn’t lack for much. In return, they treated their workers with a modicum of decency. They were obviously smart enough to realize that they couldn’t have one without the other.

It was close to evening before John hit paydirt, finding his own glow ball. The water was a welcome relief to his parched throat. He was grateful that Rodney had found a couple. At least he’d gotten some water. The work and the sun were taking a terrible toll on Rodney. He was at a spot in the quarry that held no relief from the sun. Even from a distance, John could see that Rodney wasn’t doing well. They’d gotten water and a piece of bread for the noonday meal, not nearly enough to ward off Rodney’s low blood sugar.

The sun was sinking low before the guards signaled quitting time. John sighed in relief, he hurt all over. The heavy hammer and chisel pulled at his back and shoulders and his hands were covered in blisters. As much as he hurt, all he could think of was Rodney, who was leaning heavily against the quarry wall, chin resting on his chest.

It was a long single file walk back to camp. John vowed that tomorrow he would be working next to McKay even if he had to tie him to his wrist to keep him from wandering off.

As they passed some invisible line near the encampment the men broke off, wandering off in all directions. It was full dark and John waited impatiently for Rodney to appear. Rodney spared him a brief look before they followed the workers towards the food line. “Hell of a vacation spot.” He waved his hands tiredly. “The sand, the sun, the sand. Have I mentioned the sun?” bemoaned Rodney with his typical sarcasm.

John didn’t need to be reminded of the sun with the blisters on Rodney’s arms and face, and the back of his neck. He looked even worse than the day before, if that was possible. Aware of John’s scrutiny, Rodney crossed his arms in an attempt to hide them, but ended up wincing under his own touch. Looking miserable, Rodney’s shoulders slumped and he dropped his arms. “Sorry.”

Taken aback, John frowned, “Huh?”

Rodney shrugged, “Nothing. Never mind.”

Having spotted a fountain where they could get a drink and clean up, John pulled Rodney into the throng of men. Cupping his hands, he drank deeply, watching as Rodney did the same. They washed off some of the dirt but their clothes were coated with the powder fine rock dust from the mines. John slipped off his shirt and shook out the worst of it. Rodney wandered to the closest bench surrounding the area and sat down. Donning his shirt in a hurry, John joined him.

The ache that gripped his heart seeing Rodney so run down came as a surprise. A day away from Rodney was worse than he’d imagined. He’d watched helplessly as Rodney struggled in the hot sun. Concerned, he asked, “You okay?”

Nodding, Rodney’s voice was weary, “Not really, no.” He sighed and got up, looking down at Sheppard, “I need to eat. You coming?”

“Yeah.” Pushing himself to his feet, he fell into step beside Rodney.

As they stepped into the food line, John could see how badly Rodney’s hands were shaking as he held out his bowl to be filled. It was stew like the night before, but Rodney barely noticed. With food in hand they found the same seats from the morning. Rodney sat down heavily, took one look at his stew and shoved it towards John. With an elbow on the table he rested his head in his hand, nibbling on his bread. John was starting to worry Rodney would fall asleep between one bite and the next and end up choking. Finishing his supper, John helped him back to their room. If John touching him hurt, he didn’t say anything.

Before Rodney could collapse on the bed, John suggested, “If you get out of those clothes I’ll shake the dust out.”

Standing in the middle of room, Rodney was swaying on his feet. John wasn’t sure if he’d heard him or not. Moving to stand in front of him, he said softly, “Let me help you with your shirt.”

Rodney, lifting his head, stared blankly at him. John repeated himself and got a weak nod. Shoulders slumped, Rodney just stood there and let John undress him, lifting his arms and legs when asked. Covered in a cold sweat and trembling by the time they were done, John led him to bed and sat beside him. He’d never seen Rodney so beaten down, sick or quiet and it tore at him to see him suffering.

Taking a chance, he let his hand rest on Rodney’s arm, above the blistering. Sighing inwardly, he hadn’t realized how much he’d missed touching Rodney. His fingers caressed lightly, hopeful Rodney wouldn’t pull away. He really needed to take the clothes out and get some fresh water but he couldn’t make himself let go. It was easy to convince himself to wait until Rodney fell asleep.

That night was no better than the night before. Worse actually. John woke to find Rodney sitting hunched in the corner, frantically rubbing his arms and face. Approaching slowly, so as not to startle him, he whispered, “Rodney.”

Rodney’s head shot up, his face puffy and red. “Go away.”

Ignoring him, John scooted closer, his hand instinctively dropping on Rodney’s back. His T-shirt was soaked. John could feel his muscles tensing under his hand. “What’s wrong?”

Shaking his head, Rodney tried to pull away, his voice was high pitched, “Freak, freak, freak. Nobody likes a freak.” His breathing was fast, shallow as he continued rubbing his arms, refusing to look at John.

“You’re not a freak,” said John, quietly, unable to hide the shame he felt for making Rodney think he was or the rising fear that the hypoglycemia was causing his friend’s breakdown.

Lifting his head, Rodney rambled, his voice rising, “I am. You’re afraid of me. I saw it. I saw the fear in your eyes. Can’t hide the fear. Everybody hates the freak.” Rodney’s voice rose with every word, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

“I don’t hate you, Rodney,” replied John, his hand rubbing Rodney’s back in circles as he tried to calm him down.

Rodney nodded anxiously, “I lost you because of what I am.”

John couldn’t have stopped himself even if he’d wanted to and he reached out, pulling Rodney into his chest, holding him close. He dropped his head to Rodney’s shoulder, “You haven’t lost me, okay. It’s your hypoglycemia talking.”

“It’s making babble like an idiot.” He slumped further in John’s arms, sniffing. “I hate this.”

Unsure what to say that would help, John asked hesitantly, “You want the bread I saved.”

Rodney convulsed, swallowed hard and moaned, “Don’t mention food.”

John winced, forgetting that Rodney was probably sicker tonight than last night after spending the entire day in the sun. “Sorry.”

It was too late. Rodney bolted and his back heaved as he lost the meager contents of his stomach. John closed his eyes tight to regain his own stomach then followed, holding Rodney up as the sickness continued. It seemed to go on forever before Rodney slumped in his arms, totally exhausted. After much prodding, John managed to get him away from the mess and onto the bed where he forced him to eat and drink some water. Rodney barely finished before he was sound asleep.

John slipped behind him and wrapped a protective arm around him as he slept. He wasn’t sure if he was doing it for Rodney’s sake or his own. It was hard to keep his distance when everything screamed at him to offer comfort. Show that he still cared. He realized that his feelings for Rodney really hadn’t changed. Deep down, John still loved him despite all his misgivings about him being a vampire. He just didn’t want to hurt Rodney any more than he already had by pulling away as he had. Giving in too soon, without all the facts and then freaking again might be more than either of them could repair.

**************

Two more days of the sun and barely eating, Rodney was deteriorating rapidly. John had used what money they’d made to find him a long sleeve shirt. It helped some, but not enough to prevent the awful sickness at night. He wasn’t getting enough food as it was and the vomiting only weakened him further. Rodney was no longer bouncing back after a meal and the guards were taking notice of the fact that he wasn’t doing his share of the work. John was working harder to take up the slack, slipping Rodney every other ball he found to keep the guards at bay and keep him hydrated during the day. In the four days since their capture, Rodney had easily dropped ten pounds.

John could no longer deny his feelings for Rodney. The vampire thing didn’t mean a thing as he watched him struggling to survive what should have been an easy internment. Rodney did his best not to complain, unusual for Rodney but the effort it took was a testament to how poorly he was feeling.

The fifth night, John held him in his arms, begging, “Just hang on, buddy. They’ll find us soon.”

Rodney was shaking, his voice weak when he spoke, “I’m dying.”

“No, you’ll be fine.”

“Not this time,” huffed Rodney, almost smiling, accepting his fate.

John took a deep breath, his voice wavering nervously, “Would my blood help?”

Eyes fluttering, trying to open, Rodney sighed, “Can’t.”

John snapped back, angrily, “Can’t or won’t.”

“Won’t,” whispered Rodney, his voice faltering.

“Don’t be so damn stubborn about this, Rodney. I know what you are. It doesn’t bother me.”

“It should,” said Rodney, the effort to speak tiring, but needing to talk, “You don’t know.” He took a deep, shuddering breath.

“Then tell me. Make me understand. Then I can decide,” insisted John, tightening his hold. His hands were shaking as he caressed Rodney’s chest where his arms wrapped around him. He already knew what decision he would make, because losing Rodney wasn’t an option any more. This was a close as he ever wanted to be.

Rodney took several seconds to answer, his voice slower as he spoke, “If I were to feed on you, you’d be mine.”

“Huh?”

“The bloodlust…it takes away my control.” Rodney was drifting, his breathing slow.

John felt his gut clenching in fear and he shook him awake, afraid if he slept now he’d never wake. “I don’t care, Rodney. I won’t let you die if I have a way to save you. You can feed on me if that’s what it takes.”

Rodney’s eyes fluttered open and he stared up at John. They couldn’t hide his feelings any better than the rest of him and John’s breath hitched. Rodney tried to smile, his eyes closing again. His voice was barely audible as he whispered, “No.”

Going limp in his arms, John panicked. “Rodney.” His heart raced as his fingers fumbled for a pulse. It was there, but just barely, slow and weak. “You are not leaving me, McKay. So not gonna happen. You can kick my ass into next week but at least you’ll be alive.”

Laying him down on the bed, John scrambled to his clothes, finding the knife he normally kept hidden in his boot. It was the only weapon he’d managed to keep from their captors. Without hesitating, he nicked the vein in his arm and rushed back to Rodney. The blood was welling up as he lifted Rodney, letting him rest against his chest. Moving his arm he held the cut to Rodney’s mouth, but there was no response.

“Come on, Rodney.” John begged softly, his mouth kissing his lover on the temple, “Take it. Please.”

He felt it then, the soft, moist flutter of tongue against his skin and John let go the breath he’d been holding. “That’s it.” Rodney’s tongue played at the cut, flicking out to taste, then again, faster.

It was hypnotic against his skin and John shuddered, his heart racing as the feeding pace intensified. John’s eyelids were getting heavier and he was drifting in the euphoria when Rodney suddenly stiffened in his arms and jerking out of his grasp, scrambled to the far side of the room, panting heavily.

Chapter Five

John stared at Rodney in a daze, barely registering what was happening. It was like coming down from a buzz. He blinked a couple times before he realized that Rodney looked as he did in the cave, his eyes shining bright and his teeth leaving no doubt about his true nature. Mesmerized, John could only stare, breathing harshly, his blood pounding in his veins. He wiped the sweat that gathered on his brow and started to rise, intent on getting to Rodney.

Scooting further away, Rodney held out his hands in a desperate attempt to maintain some distance between them. “Please, stay away.”

“Not this time,” growled John, creeping closer.

Rodney held himself tight against the wall, pleading, “Please…John, don’t. I don’t want it this way.”

John eased closer and just when he thought Rodney had given in, he bolted, scrambling from the room and knocking John back in the process. Rocked back on his ass, John shook his head and stared at the open door. “Damn it.”

He knew there was no point in going after Rodney in his present state. There would be no finding him if he didn’t want to be found. It was hard enough with a life sign detector on a good day. He stood up and debated going after him anyway but ended up nervously pacing the small room, berating himself for pushing Rodney. When that didn’t work, he flopped on the bed and stared at the ceiling. That lasted about ten minutes before he got dressed and went looking for Rodney.

John was sitting at breakfast at their normal table when Rodney finally showed up. He looked terrible as he slid into the seat next to John. As mad as he was, John couldn’t deny his relief or his concern. “Don’t take off like that again. You had me scared to death.”

“Sorry. You didn’t exactly leave me any alternative,” said Rodney, eating his breakfast at an almost leisurely pace. It was then that John realized the dullness in his eyes had been replaced by a healthier shine. Except for the tiredness around his eyes, he never would have guessed that Rodney had been so close to death the night before.

“You look better.”

Rodney shrugged, “I feel better.”

“You gonna tell me about this bloodlust thing now?” asked John as he ate.

“Shh,” hissed McKay, glancing around and realizing for the first time that they were alone.

Noting his surprise, John teased, “Your social skills preceded you.” They’d pretty much had the table to themselves since Rodney’s display the first day.

“Hmph,” said Rodney, and he kept eating. He looked around anyway and whispered shyly, “What you did… last night. Thanks.”

“It wasn’t so bad,” quipped John, shrugging innocently.

Rodney stopped in mid bite and gaped at him, “That was…that…It wasn’t…”

John frowned, “Wasn’t what?”

Pale, Rodney swallowed and stuttered, “That wasn’t a feeding.” He dropped his head, embarrassed, “If it had been, I never would have been able to leave like I did.”

John started to ask what he meant, but the workers were making their way to the edge of the camp, signaling a new day and effectively ending the conversation. John tried to get more information, but Rodney refused to say anything more. There would be no time for talk until they returned from the quarry.

Privacy was next to impossible when the furthest worker was only three feet away. As they worked, John couldn’t get over how much better Rodney was doing. He’d lost the death warmed over look and ignoring the sun burnt skin, he looked healthier than he had in days. It was hard to believe that so little blood could make such a dramatic change.

The blood of the previous night was an elixir for Rodney, giving John hope that he might actually survive until rescue arrived. It was hard to decide whether to be depressed or pissed that they’d spent almost a week in captivity and no one had arrived to save the day. They’d gate hopped some before arriving on the planet but surely someone knew of the Telosian home world. He tried convincing himself that it was just a matter of time before help arrived. As the days passed, it was getting harder to remain optimistic about a timely rescue.

It was only a matter of time before they were going to have to risk escape. They couldn’t give up their lives to mining when freedom was only a Stargate away. Okay, so it meant crossing the desert. They’d made it across in a day and they might make it by night if they had water. Unfortunately, there was no way to carry water and Rodney’s health was too precarious from day to day to risk the attempt. Even though he was looking better today than he had since their arrival, John still found it hard to believe the small amount of blood Rodney had ingested could make such a marked difference. He’d watched Rodney stare at the wall for several minutes before choosing a spot to work. Within the hour he’d dug out a glowball. Rodney repeated the process and by lunch, he’d found four glowballs.

John eyed him curiously after lunch as he scanned the wall. “You’re creeping me out, McKay.”

Turning, Rodney frowned, “Huh?”

Nodding towards the wall, John replied, “You’ve found four balls without error. You want to let me in on your secret.”

“No secret. If you look hard enough you can see a faint glow.”

John stared at his own chunk of wall, seeing nothing but the gray expanse of rock. “Not seeing anything.”

Frustrated, Rodney stopped his own work and stepped to the side to peer at Sheppard’s space. After a few seconds, he pointed to a spot with his chisel. “Right there. You see it?”

Leaning closer and squinting, John shook his head. “No.”

Rodney rolled his eyes. “Just dig.”

Half an hour later, John pulled out a glowball right where Rodney told him to dig. After the guard retrieved it, John asked, “So, you been holding out on me.”

“As if,” quipped Rodney, twisting his chisel into the rock before hitting it with his hammer. “I didn’t realize you couldn’t see them.”

John stared at the wall then at Rodney. When Rodney just stared back, he said exasperated, “Well?”

“Well what?” sniped Rodney.

Jerking his head to the wall, John snapped, “Where do I dig?”

Rodney looked the wall up and down and pointed to the next spot. He said with annoyance, “I can’t believe you can’t see it.”

“Some of us don’t have the x-ray vision thingie.” He added with a half smirk, “You said you weren’t Superman.”

“I’m not asshole. They glow.”

“Do not.”

“Do too.”

“Do not.” John turned to the man at his other side and asked nonchalantly, “So what do you know about the glowballs?”

The man kept working as he explained, “They don’t actually glow until they boil them. They will keep forever until they heat them. After they heat them, they will light for about three months.”

Rodney chimed in. “How convenient for our captors. Never run out of customers that way. Capitalism at its finest. The next thing you know there’ll be a mini-mall on the corner selling Slurpees.”

“So they don’t glow until they heat them?” asked John, smirking at Rodney as he asked the other man.

“Did I not just say that?” answered the man with an air of nervous irritation as he glanced over his shoulder at the guards.

Rodney muttered under his breath, “They glow.”

“He said they have to be heated to glow,” John said pointedly, lifting his hammer to the place Rodney picked out earlier.

“The sun heating the rock may be enough to elicit a residual glow not noticeable to the human eye,” argued Rodney.

“But you can see it?”

“Of course I can see it.” Rodney continued to work.

“So why doesn’t the ball burn out before they’re harvested?” asked John, hammer hitting chisel with more determination knowing he would find something for his efforts.

“I’m no biologist,” Rodney feigned a shudder at the thought, making John smile, “but I’d bet they were once a bioluminescent creature.” He gestured to the wall in front of them and the desert behind them. “This was probably all ocean at one time. The creatures washed up on shore and became fossilized. It accounts for their random occurrence, although I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a higher concentration in some areas as opposed to others.”

“Currents?” shrugged John, making a guess.

Judging by Rodney’s surprised look, he must have guessed right. “I knew there was more under that hair than you let on.”

John brightened, “Yep, good looks and charm.”

“Ass,” countered Rodney. He rolled his eyes. “As I was saying, the creatures most likely had a hard outer shell that reacts to the heat of the sun, probably on a wavelength that only I can see. You on the other hand, with your inferior eyesight can’t see it. It must take the extreme heat of boiling to activate the interior of the ball, thus making it possible for you to see.”

“Inferior eyesight?”

“Oh please, can you see the ball?”

“Well no, but…”

“I rest my case,” smirked Rodney.

John worked at the ball he was slowly uncovering, muttering, “I liked you better when you were too tired to talk.”

“Did not.”

“Did too.”

They were interrupted by the guard that suddenly appeared behind them, “Work!”

Cringing, they returned to their work but Rodney mumbled in a mere whisper as the guard walked away, “Did not.” John grumbled and went back to work. He didn’t feel like arguing. He’d missed the easy banter between them and it was a welcome relief to the silence of previous days when Rodney was too miserable to do much more than make a show of working.

Between them, they’d managed to find six glowballs, adding to their hoard of coins. John was determined to find Rodney a hat. Even covered as he was, the sun was still a problem on his unprotected head and neck. He still looked better than he had in days and John hoped that he’d be able to eat and get a good night’s sleep for once.

Returning to camp that night, they cleaned up quickly and ate. Rodney managed to eat a slice of bread and half his stew before he pushed the leftover towards John. They ate in silence. John didn’t want to discuss things where others could overhear and Rodney didn’t seem inclined to volunteer any information regarding his comment that morning.

Walking back to their room, John cast surreptitious glances at Rodney and finally spoke, “You doing better tonight?”

Rodney nodded, “Yes I am.” His fingers waved, “New man and all that.” It would have been more convincing but for the redness of his exposed skin.

As they reached the room, John suddenly snapped his fingers and turned to go back outside. He spun again and grinned at Rodney, “Sit tight. I’ll be right back.”

“Sheppard!” called Rodney.

John waved over his shoulder and was gone.

********

Rodney was already down to boxers and T-shirt, dozing off, when John returned. Sprawled out like he was, it accentuated Rodney’s leaner frame and John found himself staring for several minutes. Quietly removing his own clothes, John eased into bed, careful not to wake him.

Leaning up on one elbow, he watched the rise and fall of Rodney’s broad chest, noting the way his nipples stood out in relief. Damn Rodney and his nipples. John’s hand was hovering to touch before he realized what he was about to do and pulled his hand back. It twitched nervously to return. John’s eyes drifted lower, taking in Rodney’s slimmer waist and the outline of soft flesh beneath his boxers. John fingers tightened to a fist.

It was becoming increasingly harder to deny his feelings for Rodney and being trapped on an alien planet 24/7 was so not helping. Rather than diminish his desire for Rodney, that morning had only intensified it. Rodney claimed the bloodlust would take away his control. John smiled inwardly. Rodney was probably the least controlled person he knew, especially when they were making love. Had made love. Past tense.

John’s breath hitched and he froze, realizing his hand had been caressing Rodney’s broad chest in lazy circles as his mind drifted. Judging by Rodney’s sharper breaths, he was aware of it too. The silence was deafening and John was about to jerk his hand back, when Rodney spoke, his voice husky, “We should talk.”

His fingers moved of their own accord, finding the hardened nub on Rodney’s chest and John found his own voice hoarse as he answered, “Talking isn’t what I had in mind.” Circling Rodney’s nipple, John swallowed hard as Rodney’s boxers tented with his arousal.

“Later.” Eyes closed tight, Rodney hissed, “We’ll talk later.”

John leaned in and mouthed Rodney’s nipple through his shirt. “Later is good.”

Rodney bucked when John bit down lightly and his hand slipped lower, under the waistband of his shorts. When John gripped his straining cock, Rodney’s head went back and he moaned, “Fuck yeah. Missed this.”

Rolling atop him, John settled between his legs and pushed his own hard length against Rodney’s. They both lost themselves in the familiar contact, straining and pushing for more until they were both breathless. Rodney’s hands gripped John’s ass, holding him tightly as he thrust upward. John lifted up, using his arms for leverage as he ground against Rodney cock. Stopping long enough to slip his boxers lower, John pushed Rodney’s waistband down past his own cock and both men hissed at the sudden skin on skin contact as they strained for release. With his hair plastered to his head and eyes clenched tight, Rodney groaned, arched his back and came hard between them. The warm lubrication was all it took and John followed with his own blinding climax.

Collapsing on Rodney’s chest, John barely registered the trembling in Rodney’s arms as they wrapped around his back and held on. It took several minutes before either man regained enough breath to speak. Rodney pushed enough to roll John to his side, where he settled, still draped over Rodney. Lifting his head, Rodney stared at him. “If that was a one time deal you’re a dead man.”

John slipped his hand under Rodney’s shirt, carding his fingers through his chest hairs as he answered, “Nah, we’re good, but we are going to have that talk.”

Rodney dropped his head back on the bed and sighed, “I’d rather just go with the hot, sweaty sex. Surprisingly, that works for me.”

“Thought it might,” John grinned, pleased with himself. Gathering his courage, he asked hesitantly, “So, tell me about the bloodlust, Rodney. Why are you so afraid of it?”

Feeling Rodney tense beneath him, John caressed his chest, waiting for him to speak. Rodney took a deep breath and spoke softly, “It’s not me I’m afraid for, it’s you.”

“You keep saying that.”

Rodney’s arm draped John’s back, fingers absently teasing bare flesh, “Bear in mind that this would only happen if I feed. Otherwise I’m fine.”

“’kay,” drawled John, doing his best not to tense or react as Rodney answered his question.

“I’ve never fed off…well…a lover, so I’ve never experienced it first hand. Just tasting your blood is more intense than anything I’ve ever done.” Rodney looked at him blurting nervously, “If I feed off you, I won’t be able to stop myself from taking you.”

“And by taking me you mean…” John looked dubious.

“Fucking you,” interrupted Rodney.

“Ah.” John swallowed hard, “You didn’t say that feeding involved sex.”

“Well normally it wouldn’t but it’s different with…” Rodney paused and took a deep breath, “a lover. Once a vampire takes a lover they form a bond of sorts.”

“What kind of bond?” John asked, suspiciously.

“It can be very intimate, and not just for me.”

“So?” replied John, clearly confused by Rodney’s apprehension.

Rodney sat up and scooted back to the wall. Rubbing the stubble of beard, he sighed deeply, “I’m afraid if I feed on you and you can’t say no, you’ll resent me for it.”

“Why would I do that? It’s not like we haven’t had sex before.” John lifted up and sat beside Rodney, their thighs and shoulders touching. Rodney tensed but didn’t move away.

Rodney was growing agitated at John’s indifference, “You don’t get it. I would be fucking you and you wouldn’t have any control. I’d take that away. I’ve heard of a lover begging to be feed off of. I’m sorry but I just can’t see you doing that.”

“Well, didn’t you say that you can only feed if I let you, if I give you permission?” Rodney nodded with irritation, but remained silent as John continued, “So, if it’s really an issue of me not wanting to give up control then why would I let you feed.” John shrugged, “I just say no if it’s a problem for me.”

Rodney dropped his head in frustration, “You make it sound so simple.” It was anything but simple. In the six months he’d been with John before they’d split, Rodney had never actually fucked John. Not that he had a problem with that, it was just the way their preferences ran. Truth be told, Rodney had never actually fucked a man and that alone allowed him to let John take the lead in their relationship. There were times when Rodney wondered what it would feel like being balls deep in John’s ass but not enough to overcome the awkwardness of admitting he’d never fucked a guy before.

John chuckled as he nudged Rodney with his shoulder, “I think it’s more you making a mountain out of a molehill, Rodney. You’re overthinking again.”

“I’m thinking I have no idea why all of sudden you don’t have a problem with this when a week ago I…”

Interrupting, John spoke before Rodney could finish, “I know. I was wrong.”

Rodney snorted, “I should mark my calendar. Colonel John Sheppard was wrong today. Big red letters.”

John countered with a half smile, “I like blue better.”

“Of course you do. It’s such a manly color.”

“Your eyes are blue,” teased John, fondly.

Rodney blushed a bit, but cross his arms in defense and managed a smug comeback. “What can I say? I’m a man’s man.”

Moving swiftly, John was suddenly straddling Rodney’s outstretched legs. He looked Rodney in the eyes and whispered huskily, “Yeah, you are.”

Staring at John with wide eyes, Rodney’s breath hitched and his blood raced with reined in desire. Their earlier session had done little to quench the passion between them, and Rodney hardened, his hands dropping to John’s hips to pull him closer. The contact left him reeling and his head fell back into the wall as his eyes closed.

John ground against him, leaning closer to kiss Rodney’s exposed neck. As lips touched sensitive skin, Rodney whimpered and the grip on John’s hips tightening almost painfully. It was heady to get such a reaction from Rodney and John increased his efforts, licking and sucking until Rodney was panting heavily. John was hard as steel, rubbing harder into Rodney, his voice strained as he pleaded against his neck, “Need to fuck you.”

Rodney nodded enthusiastically, his face red and sweaty. “Yes, god yes.” His hands scrabbled for John’s shirt, removing it frantically as he thrust upward, anxious and needy for more.

Hands removed the remainder of clothes as they stretched out on the bed, grinding and pushing against each other, never losing the precious contact they both craved. The room filled with breathy moans and sighs as lips and hands found places that two months of separation had neglected. John couldn’t get enough as he traced every inch of Rodney he could reach. Rodney was so responsive to everything he did that John could no longer deny the need to be inside him.

Balanced over Rodney, with legs draped on his shoulders, John pushed into his ass, shaking in earnest as he tried to keep from coming. Rodney was squirming under him, practically twitching with need as he begged, “Just fuck me already.”

John gritted his teeth, “Unless you want this over before it starts…” he glared down at Rodney and growled, “hold still!”

Chest heaving, Rodney gasped between breaths, “Trying. Been too long.”

Biting his lip, John eased into Rodney, his eyes clenched tight. “Damn, you’re so fucking tight, Rodney.”

Rodney winced, “Hmph.”

Opening his eyes, John stilled at the discomfort in Rodney’s features, “Sorry. Am I hurting you?”

“Yes. No. Shit. Just do it,” hissed Rodney, trying to pull John closer with his legs.

John sunk in deeper and grunted at the heat and tightness surrounding his cock. God, he’d missed this. Being buried in Rodney’s ass ranked up there with flying. Okay, better than flying because it felt like flying with added benefits. He tried moving slowly, savoring it but it was beyond good and he moved faster, deeper with each thrust.

Rodney’s hands clenched the bed until he couldn’t stand it and reached for his own weeping cock. Watching Rodney as he fucked him just never got old for John. Rodney loved to be touched and teased and John loved doing it, taking pleasure from Rodney’s pleasure. There were no complaints and they’d settled into the same respective roles during sex. John led and Rodney followed. It worked for both of them.

While he’d never been on the receiving end, John idly wondered sometimes if it was as great as Rodney seemed to think it was. To see the want in Rodney’s blue eyes as he lay there taking all John offered, sweating and begging and pleading and moaning out his name as he stroked his cock and fuck… John slammed hard into Rodney and everything whited out for several seconds as he exploded deep into Rodney’s ass. He could feel Rodney follow on the wake of his orgasm and he rode it out, gasping as muscles tightened around his sensitive flesh. When Rodney finally relaxed, he pulled out slowly and opened his eyes.

Rodney was slumped on the bed, his hand and stomach coated with his release and his mouth hanging open as he sucked in air. Seeing Rodney totally debauched after sex was a rush, giving John a ‘wow I did that’ moment every damn time. Sinking into the crook of Rodney’s arm, John sighed in satisfaction.

Reaching for the edge of the blanket, Rodney cleaned himself up and pulled John closer. They lay there together for several long moments before Rodney asked nervously, “So have you every let anyone fuck you?”

“Ummm…no,” answered John honestly.

“Have you ever considered it?”

“Not before you, no. Since you…yeah I’ve thought about it. I didn’t think you wanted to. You never brought it up.”

“I never thought much about it. I like bottoming. I didn’t realize that I wanted to until I…um… tasted your blood. Then I wanted to more than anything else I’ve ever done. It was a…”

“What?”

“When I tasted your blood.” Head ducked, Rodney paused before blurting out a reply, “I wanted to claim you. Make you mine.”

John sucked in a sharp breath, surprised by the rush of heat that consumed him. “That shouldn’t sound as hot as it does.”

Lifting his head, Rodney stared at John in shocked disbelief, “You’re kidding, right? You’d really let me do that?”

“Well, not right now,” teased John, knowing neither of them were up to any more lovemaking. Twice in such a short time was unusual even for them.

Rodney thumped him, “I meant someday.”

“When you feed you mean?”

“No. I won’t feed off you. I won’t do that.”

John rose up and glared at Rodney. “Why the hell not? Damn it, Rodney. You can’t keep going like you have. If my blood keeps you alive then I want you to feed off me.”

“I’m feeling fine,” argued Rodney.

“Only because of the blood this morning. What’s it gonna be like in another few days when the food isn’t enough?” John said worriedly.

“I’ll manage.”

John was getting pissed by Rodney’s stubbornness about the whole feeding issue, but anger wasn’t going to convince him. He took a deep calming breath and spoke quietly, “If our positions were reversed, what would you do?”

Rodney stilled and then huffed, “That’s not fair.”

Grinning, John said smugly, “That’s what I thought.”

Rodney rolled to his side, away from John but John followed, snuggling up behind him and whispered in his ear, “Just think about it. If you really need to, then ask me. I won’t say no.”

John draped an arm over Rodney’s waist and was grateful when an arm covered his own. It was a start. He pulled him closer, changing the subject. “I got you a hat.”

Twisting, Rodney looked over his shoulder, “That’s lame even for you.”

“What? I thought you’d appreciate it.”

Rodney rolled his eyes and settled back into John’s embrace, “That’s not what I mean. You were changing the subject.”

“Was I?” said John smiling, trying for innocence

Rodney sighed and let his eyes close. “Go to sleep.”

Grinning in Rodney’s shoulder, he muttered, “Night.”

Chapter Six

The hat did wonders for Rodney, and he did pretty well for a few days before he began to falter again. Even without the nausea, Rodney simply wasn’t getting enough to eat. He tried to hide it from John but it was impossible living in such close quarters. John bought extra food with the money they made but it was expensive and Rodney felt guilty when it didn’t stop the slight trembling in his hands. Working twelve hours a day in the quarry didn’t suppress his appetite like sitting in a lab did and the shakes only worsened over time.

John watched the guards, warning Rodney when they came close enough to notice he wasn’t working as hard as he should be. Rodney knew it was just a matter of time before his energy levels bottomed out and no amount of coaxing from John would get him to lift the hammer one more time.

The guards hadn’t missed the fact that he and John were harvesting more glowballs than anyone else. Rodney could feel their eyes on him more often than not. With that in mind he whispered directions to John on where to dig so as not to draw attention to his unique skill.

It was around the fifteenth day of captivity, a week since Rodney had been rejuvenated by John’s blood, that his knees buckled and he stumbled into the wall. John managed to grab him before he face-planted into the rock, holding him steady in his arms. Suddenly the guards were hovering and Rodney only looked up when a shadow drifted across his field of view. John shifted and stepped protectively in front of him. Rodney stood shakily at his shoulder.

With a quick backwards glance, John silently asked if he was okay. Nodding, Rodney wiped his sweaty brow with a shaky hand and looked wearily at the guards. “Don’t you have others you can intimidate, because really, it’s just not working for me?”

The guards weren’t amused, or they simply didn’t understand big words, Rodney couldn’t tell. Not that he really cared one way or the other. He was tired and hungry and pretty much fed up with the whole slave mentality of ‘whistle while we work’ bullshit. He wanted to go home, back to Atlantis where his body and mind could concentrate on more than just staying upright. The food was never enough to stave off the cold sweats and tremors that plagued him every moment of the day. His mind felt bogged down, easily distracted by the simplest things and he found himself drifting more and more with each passing day.

His mental rambling was interrupted by one of the guards. Rodney didn’t catch it all as he blinked back to awareness. “…it has been decided.”

“I don’t think so,” John ground out, sidestepping and placing himself directly in front of Rodney.

Rodney remained silent, his eyes darting nervously between John and the guards. The guard reached out for Rodney and he stepped back as John batted away the offending arm. “Back off. He’s not going with you.”

The guard stood his ground, but made no further moves towards Rodney. “We know he can find the glowballs. If he wishes to eat then he will show the others where to work.”

Standing close to John, Rodney could feel the muscles in his back tense. Not looking for a confrontation, Rodney stepped around him. “I’ll do it.”

An arm across Rodney’s chest stopped him and John hissed out the corner of his mouth, “Rodney.”

Rodney pushed John’s arm away and gathering his resolve, gave the guards his own brand of intimidation. “Here is what I want in return for my cooperation. I want an extra meal a day and everyone gets a day off every sixth day. In return, I’ll point out the glowballs.”

The guard snorted back, “You are in no position to make demands.”

“Oh right, because you are making money hand over fist under the present regime.” Rodney raised his chin a notch. “I can find them and you can’t. Who has who by the balls?”

John turned sharply and spoke in a low voice through gritted teeth, “McKay, stop pissing the natives off.”

With hands on his hips, the guard snarled, “We do not have to feed you.”

Rodney rolled his eyes, but had to snag the back of John’s shirt at the sudden vertigo. Regaining his composure, he smirked, “Oh please, I’m already starving. Not feeding me just speeds up the process. An extra meal for me and a day off for everyone gets you my cooperation. Without it, I do it but you’ll never know how many I’m NOT finding.”

The guard started to step forward but his companion pulled him away. They proceeded to get into a heated discussion. Rodney watched idly until John suddenly grabbed him and got in his face. “What the hell are you doing, Rodney? Do you want them to kill you, is that it? What happened to that self-preservation motto you are so fond of?”

Jerking out of John’s grasp, Rodney stepped back, but the move sent his head spinning. Reaching for the wall, his vision blurred and missing the wall he stumbled back. His balance lost, he fell as his knees gave out. Everything went fuzzy after that and he was vaguely aware of John’s concerned voice and then a lot of screaming and shouting before a cup of water appeared in his shaky hands. Most of it dribbled down his chin, but it helped clear his head enough so that when he opened his eyes the view was no longer distorted.

John was holding his head and nudging his lips with a piece of bread. The worried look was enough to make him open his mouth and chew. A couple pieces later, he was able to sit up without listing sideways and found the guards hovering with their own brand of concern.

Catching their eye, the quiet one spoke. “We will discuss your proposal with the others when we return this evening.” He glared at his companion and added, “I’m sure they will see the wisdom of your offer.” With that, he tugged the other guard away and left John and Rodney alone.

Still chewing, Rodney slumped in John’s arms in delayed panic, “Oh god, the lack of food has made me stupid. Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know, but don’t do it again,” sighed John, grabbing Rodney enough to scoot them both back into the little bit of shade the rock wall offered. His heart was pounding loudly under Rodney’s ear where he rested against his chest.

Too tired to mount a formidable panic attack, Rodney calmed. “So what happened at the end there? I’m a little fuzzy on the details.”

“You fainted,” teased John, handing Rodney the remainder of bread. “Eat.”

“Passed out from manly hunger,” corrected Rodney indignantly, snatching the bread from John to take a big bite.

John chuckled, “Nice touch by the way. It seems our captors panicked when you went down. They were worried about losing their fifteen minutes of fame.”

“Genius here,” slurred Rodney. He was so tired and his eyes fluttered shut.

The arms around his chest tightened slightly. “Next time let me do any negotiations. Your approach is taking years off my life.”

“I’m working on my hero badge. Every little bit counts,” countered Rodney.

“You weren’t a Boy Scout. It doesn’t count,” quipped John. He added with a drawl and a cocky grin, “Besides, you don’t need no stinking badge.”

Rodney’s mouth twitched into a smile, “I’ll leave the hero thing to you. It’s far too stressful.” His smile faded. “I just want to go home.”

John stared absently into the fading sunlight, “Yeah, me too.”

*****************

Surprisingly, or maybe not so much, the Telosians agreed to Rodney’s demands but only if his efforts made a marked difference in the harvest of the glowballs. If numbers didn’t improve then everyone would suffer the consequences, not just Rodney. No pressure.

The extra meal was provided but with Rodney spending his entire day zigzagging up and down the face of the quarry pointing out glowballs to whoever needed direction, it was for naught. What little advantage he gained from the food was lost with the increased activity. With over a hundred men working there was no time to rest and Rodney continued to decline.

The Telosians were pleased with the new arrangement, already making plans to expand to other trading worlds to take advantage of the increased output from the mines. Per the agreement, the sixth day brought a day of rest and Rodney and John were suddenly granted a sort of elevated status amongst the other workers. They were making more money with Rodney’s help and the day off seemed to boost the morale of both workers and guards.

Everyone took advantage of the day off. John let Rodney sleep, bringing him meals so that he could conserve what strength he was gaining. It wasn’t much but it was something. John felt completely helpless as he watched Rodney sleep. The weight loss becoming more apparent with each passing day, John spent the morning going over possible escape scenarios. None of them ended on a good note and by mid-afternoon he stripped down to his boxers and flopped on the bed next to Rodney in defeat.

Rodney stirred and snuggled up behind John, draping his waist with a sleep heavy arm. He mumbled into John’s shoulder. “Hmmm. Nice.”

John pushed back into Rodney, no longer afraid of waking him. After almost three weeks of 24/7 with Rodney, John wondered how he’d give that up once they returned to Atlantis. Although, after three weeks it wasn’t looking like it would be any time soon. He didn’t think for a moment that Ronon or Teyla would give up until they were found. It was just a matter of time, that and keeping Rodney alive.

It wasn’t as hard to be with Rodney day in and day out as John thought it would be. Even when they were together on Atlantis they hadn’t had this much time. It was nice in a weird, relaxing sort of way that John didn’t allow himself as military leader. His duties weren’t conducive to long lazy days or a full night’s sleep and John actually found himself more rested than he had since arriving in Atlantis. Not a vacation that he’d recommend or even sign up for but for the most part it was stress free. Neither of them had to make life threatening decisions and they knew from day to day what the routine would be. Even Rodney, despite the toll it was taking seemed more relaxed.

Rodney was nuzzling his shoulder, sending shivers down John’s back. “What time is it?”

John reached for his watch and turned it enough to read. “Two o’clock.” Tossing the watch back atop his pile of clothes he intertwined his fingers with Rodney’s. “How you feeling?”

Nuzzling John’s neck, Rodney answered hoarsely, “Better. Rested.”

Arching under the unexpected pressure of Rodney’s tongue, John gasped, “Geez, Rodney.”

Rodney didn’t answer but his teeth nipped John’s ear as his fingers teased his stomach, never drifting too low. John was breathing sharply, surprised that Rodney was taking the lead. Something he’d never done, not even after their talk. The few times they’d found the energy to do more than kiss, John had initiated it. This was something new and John melted into it, enjoying it more than he thought possible.

“I thought you were tired,” said John playfully, savoring Rodney’s touches. Rodney suddenly tensed behind him, the fingers on his stomach stilling. John grabbed them in a tight clasp, not letting Rodney pull away. It took several minutes before Rodney began to relax again but there was still the silence between them as his breathing evened out.

Rodney had become more subdued in the last few days, but John had attributed it to his waning strength. Something was on his mind and John finally dared to ask, “What?”

Arms squeezed and fingers clenched as Rodney’s forehead pushed into his shoulder, his breath heavy on John’s back. Rodney was shaking as he whispered, “I don’t want to die.”

John frowned, unsure where Rodney was coming from and then just as quickly it all made sense and he twisted enough to look at Rodney’s face. There was fear and want written in the depths of Rodney’s blue eyes that made John’s breath hitch and he shuddered. Their eyes meet and John spoke in a low, husky voice, “Do it.”

Rodney stared at him, his mouth opening but no words would come out and he closed his eyes tightly, trying to deny what was being offered. John reached back and clasped his neck, pulling Rodney closer, into that place where John’s neck met his shoulder.

He tightened his hold when Rodney tried to pull away. “I don’t want you to die either. I want this, Rodney.” Hearing Rodney swallow, followed by a tentative sweep of his tongue along that sensitive spot where his vein lay exposed, John tilted his head, offering himself. “Please.”

Rodney groaned, his tongue darting out to taste the skin as lips kissed his pulse point, drawing blood to the surface. Breathing sharply, Rodney pulled back and panted, “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” hissed John, his own breathing and heartbeat rising in anticipation. “Just do it.” His breath wasn’t the only thing rising.

With a final breath that John could feel ghost against his skin, Rodney’s breathing grew harsh, needy as his tongue and lips licked and sucked his skin, drawing John deeper into a haze of pleasure. His body felt on edge, ready to explode even after only a few minutes of Rodney teasing his flesh. As sharp teeth grazed his skin, John’s cock hardened, his body trembling with a tinge of fear as he tried to stay relaxed in Rodney’s arms. It kept his mind off the rising desire that was threatening to embarrass him before they even started.

And then it was there, teeth plunging into his flesh. The sharp hiss of pain that followed exploded into light and pleasure that had John was arching into, wanting more. Teeth sunk into his flesh, tongue darting frantically against his vein and John’s breath caught at the sheer pleasure of it, unlike anything he’d ever experienced. It bit into his nerve endings sending him spiraling out of control. He jerked in Rodney’s arms, his balls tightening and his cock throbbing. His hips bucked and without a single touch, he screamed his release, timed perfectly to the pulse of his blood that Rodney sucked from his vein.

It seemed to go on forever, John barely hanging onto consciousness as the sensation of pleasure climbed higher and higher. His body spasmed uncontrollably, no air getting to his lungs as he covered himself and the bed with stream after stream until there was no more. When at last Rodney released him and only the light touch of tongue remained, healing the sensitive skin, John sank to the bed, trembling uncontrollably in the aftermath.

Rodney held him, still licking and kissing as John regained some control over his harsh breathing. It took several seconds for him to recover, his mind still lost in the sensations. Rodney’s hands were all over him, frantically removing clothes, caressing his hips, lingering on his stomach, his arousal evident against his ass. John unconsciously pushed back, needing more…wanting more. It was then that he realized he was still rock hard and the ache was back. He cried out, “Ohgod, Rodney. I’m still hard.”

Hands soothed, caressing his chest. Rodney’s rasped between breaths, “Shh.”

John’s was already panting again and he needed to touch himself. Rodney’s hand shot out, stopping him with a firm grip. He hissed demandingly, “No. Mine.” He pulled John’s hand away, holding it tightly as he rolled John onto his back.

“Fuck, Rodney. Please,” grunted John, his hips thrusting upward as he tried to pull his hand away from Rodney’s grasp to finish himself off. There was no give and John writhed desperately, moaning for more.

He lost himself in Rodney’s touch, forgetting everything but his need for release. Rodney settled between his legs, and stretched out above him, their hard lengths straining against each other. John thrust upward against the sudden contact and was coming again. His hands clenched at the bedcovers as his back arched sharply and when he started to scream, Rodney crammed something in his mouth to mute the worst of it. He didn’t even care as the pleasure ripped through him. He couldn’t see, he couldn’t breathe, he could only hang on as it pumped out of him, going on endlessly as Rodney ground against him, sliding smoothly through the warm stickiness that covered them both.

He was sure he lost some time with the last one because when awareness returned Rodney was still humping him, his teeth nipping at his collarbone as he muttered under his breath. “So beautiful, so mine.” He was hard against John’s stomach and it took a moment for him to realize Rodney hadn’t come yet.

John was already hard again and beginning to panic. He pulled the gag from his mouth and stammered, “Rodney. What’s happening?”

“Shh. Don’t fight it.” Rodney replaced the gag then dropped his head and began nuzzling John’s chest, working his way to a nipple. John sucked in a sharp breath when Rodney sucked at it, his teeth teasing until John was shuddering with every moist breath against his skin. He couldn’t stop shaking.

It was too much, not enough and his muscles constricted with the next orgasm as Rodney bit down on one of his nipples. His vision whited out and he let it happen, let the excruciating pleasure overtake him until his body went limp. He couldn’t move any more, couldn’t fight the slow build that was already consuming him. This wasn’t what he was expecting when Rodney mentioned bloodlust and he lay there in a daze, never wanting it to end but not sure he would survive. Tiny tremors made him jerk with each new assault from Rodney’s tongue, his lips, his hands. His hands never stopped, tracing every inch of John’s skin making him shudder and twitch, breathless with desire. He’d never had anyone take such pleasure in pleasing him and he became lost in it.

He begged for more, mewling beneath the gag but made no attempt to remove it. The walls were thick but even they wouldn’t block the sound. He couldn’t help but scream with each orgasm that Rodney pulled from him. Nothing mattered but the need for more and with each new orgasm John was sure it was his last. And yet it went on, Rodney was gasping for each breath, his body flush as the sweat poured from him. His eyes were a darker blue than John had ever seen and even consumed with his own need, Rodney was fighting it, making sure it was good for him.

With shaky hands he spread John’s legs and settled between them on his knees. When Rodney slipped his hands under John’s knees and lifted him, touching his tongue to his entrance, John lost the last of his control and pushed down, screaming into the gag when Rodney’s tongue entered him. His cock pulsed, shooting the warm stickiness over his chest and face. Tears rolled down John’s cheeks as Rodney teased him with his tongue and when he finally slipped a finger into his willing flesh, John whimpered and came again. He couldn’t stop it any more and he could no longer rationalize between wanting it to stop and wanting it to go on forever.

His ass and cock were licked and sucked until John thought his cock couldn’t possibly take one more orgasm. When Rodney entered him at last, John would have sold his soul for it and it felt better than anything he’d ever done. Rodney pushed in slowly, his body shaking hard with every inch he gained until he was buried, his balls brushing John’s ass.

It was the most erotic thing John had ever experienced and he couldn’t fathom why he’d never wanted this before. It was a connection unlike any other and he wanted it, caught up in the way he stretched around Rodney. The way Rodney fit perfectly in the tightness, could feel the pulse of desire that spread from Rodney’s cock into his ass. He wondered if he’d ever want to top again after this. As Rodney pulled out and pushed back in ever so slowly, brushing against John’s prostate for the first time, John’s hands shot out and grabbed Rodney’s biceps, holding him firmly in place as he felt the tingle begin.

Rodney stopped and reached between them, gripping his cock hard. John cried out in frustration and Rodney leaned closer his chest heaving, bending him and growled huskily in his ear. “Not yet. Not ‘til I say so.” His voice softened, as he added, “Just this one time.”

He pulled back, letting John see his face. Rodney’s eyes shined a deep glowing blue, his sharp canines a reminder of what this was all about. John closed his eyes and nodded. He knew he wouldn’t come until Rodney let him and he was okay with that. This wasn’t about him anymore. Rodney needed this and John wanted to give him whatever he needed.

Opening his eyes, John reached up and pulled the cloth from his mouth. His throat was dry from screaming and it came out more of a croak but he meant every word, “Fuck me, Rodney. Take whatever you need.”

Hair matted to his head, his body flushed red, Rodney’s jaw clenched and he pulled out until only the tip of his cock remained, held in place by the tight ring of muscle of John’s ass. He hesitated, his whole body convulsing with need and John insisted with a gentle nod, “It’s okay. Do it.”

Rodney slammed forward, grunting in satisfaction as he buried himself in John’s ass. His eyes shot open and he gasped possessively, “Mine.”

John nodded frantically.

Mewling, Rodney pulled out, pounding back into John harder and faster with each thrust. Their sweat mingled and John begged for more, the passion rising with each thrust against his prostate. Rodney strained to give it to him, his release so close they could both sense it. John tried to help, clenching the muscles of his ass to pull Rodney deeper and then he felt it. Felt Rodney swell inside him, felt it stretch him just a fraction of an inch more, making him cry out at the thrill of it. Rodney gasped between one thrust and the next, “Now. Ohgod now. Come for me.”

John couldn’t have stopped it if he tried and his balls tightened, sending him over the edge. He kept his eyes open for as long as he could watching Rodney above him. It was amazing and undoubtedly the hottest thing John had ever witnessed. Rodney’s eyes were an intense shining blue, his mouth open as he gasped for air and John could see the sharp canines for a brief moment before their eyes met and Rodney groaned, “Mine.”

John gasped and Rodney’s eyes slammed shut as he thrust into John one last time and stilled, the muscles in his face clenched so tight they twitched as his body followed, tensing in preparation of his release. The intensity that gripped Rodney was too much and John’s eyes rolled back in his head as his climax pounded over him. His whole body spasmed convulsively and he couldn’t seem to breathe through the ecstasy. That was the last thing he remembered.

*******

It could have been minutes or days the next time John woke, he could have cared less. His body was done in and he could still feel an occasional tremor rock through him. It was surreal, and his mind didn’t want to focus, lost in the pleasant afterglow. Rodney must have cleaned him up at some point because the stickiness was gone and his head was resting on Rodney’s thigh. Fingers lightly stroked through his hair, he opened his eyes, rolling his head enough to find Rodney staring absently across the room.

“Hey,” drawled John, his voice scratchy and dry “I’d move…” Rodney looked down and John smiled, “but I can’t.”

Rodney seemed surprised, his voice wavering as he asked, “You’re not mad?”

“At what? Damn, Rodney. I lost count how many times you made me come. I had a mind altering experience that rivaled the second coming and you’re worried I’d be mad. All I want to know is when we can do it again. Okay, not too soon but definitely again.”

Rodney’s head fell back into the wall and he practically sobbed in relief, “Oh, thank god.” He slowly looked down at John, the blue in his eyes still a dull glow as he sighed, “And it’ll be a while before I’d even want to attempt that again.”

John frowned, and tried to lift up but his trembling arm gave out, “Damn.” He settled his head back on Rodney’s thigh and sighed happily.

The silence was comfortable but Rodney finally asked hesitantly, “I didn’t hurt you did I?”

“No. I’m good. Better than good. You could have warned me though,” said John with a sheepish grin gracing his face.

Wincing, Rodney explained, “I really didn’t know. I’d heard rumors of course but nothing prepared me for that.”

“You! I always thought of ‘fucked your brains out’ as a metaphor. Now…not so much,” laughed John, totally relaxed. He yawned and his eyes started to close as he slumped closer to Rodney. Jerking awake, he patted the bed. “Come here.”

Rodney scooted down on the bed and John rolled enough to drape an arm and a leg over his lover. He sighed in satisfaction and drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Seven

It had to be near morning and Rodney hadn’t slept at all. The effects of the night before still lingered and had him wired enough to make sleep elusive. The smells and sensations coursed through his veins, filling him with a contentment he hadn’t felt in months. Sheppard was sprawled over him, arms and legs tangled in the covers. With a shuddering breath, Rodney wrapped a possessive arm around John and pulled him closer, his fingers lightly tracing skin. Rodney smiled as the muscle twitched under his touch even as John slept on.

Tongue grazing the sharp point of his canines, Rodney’s thoughts drifted to earlier, his teeth sinking into John’s neck and the tangy, copper taste of blood as he’d fed. The intensity was beyond anything Rodney had ever experienced. In the past, his feedings were clinical, experimental, but this…this had been so different it didn’t even compare. This was more of a melding. His heightened senses took in all that was John and it had been intoxicating. The chemical excitement from John had hit Rodney hard as their blood mingled. It had been such a rush, lost in the sensations, the need to touch John and make him his had been almost too much.

He’d been frantic in his pursuit of pleasure, more for John than himself. At least until the end when he could no longer hold himself back. There was no way he could have anticipated the pure pleasure he got from making John come over and over, denying himself until he couldn’t stand the aching thrum of desire that had coursed through his blood. Even several hours later, Rodney could feel the difference in his blood, could feel John’s lingering presence in his system.

His heart beating loudly, Rodney took a couple stuttering breaths to calm the rising emotions. John snuggling against him wasn’t helping and it took all his willpower not to wake him. Laying in the semidarkness, Rodney concentrated on the sounds, knowing it wouldn’t be long before others began to stir.

Very carefully, he slipped out from under John and went about his morning ablutions, grimacing at his reflection in the bowl they’d procured for cleaning. His elongated canines and shining blue eyes were still in evidence, reminding him once again of his differences. As if the previous night hadn’t been enough.

Drying off, Rodney shivered, resisting the urge to return to John and wrap around him possessively. He’d known it was possible of course, but the depth of protectiveness the bloodlust inspired was a bit more than either of them was ready for. Besides, there was no way John would allow it. He didn’t think it would look very good if a scientist insisted no one beat up on his military boyfriend any more. Oh yeah, that would go over really well with the Colonel’s men. He felt pretty certain the worst of his possessiveness would wear off…he hoped. Wincing, Rodney sighed and after dressing, slid to the floor opposite John and watched him sleep. Any closer and he wouldn’t have been able to resist rolling John over and taking him again.

*********

John woke up to find Rodney slumped against the far wall, his head at an uncomfortable angle and snoring loudly. He tried to stretch but froze as every muscle in his body protested the movement. Hurting in places that hadn’t hurt since boot camp, he tried not to think about the discomfort in other places. With a groan, he managed to sit. Rodney’s held shot up and he grabbed for his neck, “Ow, ow, ow.”

“You know, if you slept in bed, that wouldn’t be a problem,” quipped John, moving very slowly to grab for his pants.

“I couldn’t sleep,” smirked Rodney, rubbing his neck and rolling his head to ease the stiffness.

“Funny, that looked a lot like sleeping to me.”

Rodney sneered at him, then sighed, “Must have dozed off.”

“Why are you over there anyway? You’re not having a delayed freak out are you?” John grimaced as he lifted a leg to pull on his pants. He managed to get his pants up around his knees and had to rest. Flopping back on the bed, he didn’t care that he looked ridiculous, he was tired and sore. He shimmied enough to pull up his pants but didn’t bother buttoning them. At the moment it was just too much effort and he closed his eyes.

He was aware of Rodney moving towards him, but the hand on his chest still startled him. Even more startling was the way his cock found Rodney’s touch stimulating. John didn’t think his cock would ever rise again after last night. Rodney must have seen his reaction because the hand was jerked away. John opened his eyes and found Rodney kneeling beside him, his blue eyes filled with panic. His really, really blue eyes and John snapped. His eyes widened and he asked, “You’re still feeling the effects, then?”

Rodney nodded reluctantly, “Not a lot, but it’s still there.” His hand waved towards his face, “It might be difficult to hide. We have to work today.” There was fear in Rodney’s expression.

“Would ah…would it help if you…ah…?”

Rodney rolled his eyes, “Fucked you?” John blushed and Rodney sighed wearily, “Yeah it might, but that doesn’t really reassure me.”

“For a genius you’re not making much sense.”

Sitting back on his haunches, Rodney nervously rubbed his thighs. “I didn’t realize how strongly this was going to affect me.” He hesitated and added quietly, “Or you.”

Reaching out, Rodney touched John’s chest again. John felt the effect immediately. His eyes started to close as Rodney’s simple touch made his cock twitch in excitement. “Oh fuck,” sighed John, torn between soreness and oh yeah, don’t stop.

The fingers on his chest spread and John could hear Rodney’s elevated breathing. John opened his eyes and met Rodney’s as he covered his hand and pushed it lower. Rodney swallowed hard, his eyes darkening with lust as his palm drifted over John’s growing erection. John was breathing harder, as he gasped, “Is it…” Rodney’s fingers drifted between his legs and played with John’s balls as his palm rubbed against his aching shaft. Raising his hips for more, John stammered huskily, “Is it always like this?”

Rodney flushed red, “No, yes, sort of.” He tried to pull his hand away and John grabbed for it, holding Rodney in place with a glare. Rodney continued to stroke him with long, easy strokes as he answered, “I don’t know. I think the worst of it will wear off.”

John was thrusting into Rodney’s hand, his mind freaking at how fucking needy he was. Rodney was stroking him with one hand and frantically unbuttoning his own pants with the other. His mouth opened and he moaned as his erection was freed of the restraining material. John answered with a moan of his own when Rodney began stroking himself in time with his other hand. He was so fucking close when Rodney stopped and pulled his hand away. Whimpering, John stared at him in disbelief and panted, “What?”

Expecting some sort of guilt trip, he was shocked when Rodney breathed sharply and ground out between clenched teeth, “Touch yourself.”

Startled by the request and the way his cocked jerked at the command, John barely hesitated before grabbing his cock and happily stroked it, faster and harder. “Oh yeah.” He thought briefly how he should maybe be more freaked out by his reactions, but it felt to damn good to question.

He didn’t think it could get any better but then Rodney was fisting his own cock and eyeing him greedily as his breaths became fast and shallow. John’s body arched off the bed and came hard, splattering his chest and stomach. If that wasn’t enough, a moist warmth added to the rapidly cooling liquid and Rodney was gasping for air, moaning in satisfaction, “So fucking hot.”

John collapsed back on the bed, wanting nothing more than to sleep for a week. He must have drifted because he jerked awake when Rodney returned with a damp rag to clean him up. Even that wasn’t enough to rouse him completely. God, he was so fucking tired but he could already hear others moving outside and he knew he’d have to get up.

Begrudgingly, he sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Opening them, he found Rodney watching him, the anxiety practically coming off him in waves. Taking the time to button his pants, John thought maybe if one of them acted normally they might actually get through this. Rodney was obviously still reeling from the effects, if his present features were anything to go by. John reached out and clasped his arm. “Just keep your head down and your mouth closed. You’ll be fine.”

Rodney nodded sheepishly. “I’m sorry… um… for all this. I…uh… didn’t know.”

When he looked up, there was no mistaking his sincerity and John gently squeezed his arm, “You don’t hear me complaining do you?”

Rodney blushed furiously and ducked his head. John reluctantly climbed to his feet, hoping he could feign some enthusiasm for work. He was so damn tired and sore. There was hope that moving around would work out the worst of it. Hell, even his stomach muscles hurt, probably from coming a thousand times in one night. Not that it was a bad thing, but he didn’t think he could get away with it too often. He’d be a dead man inside a week. Pulling Rodney to his feet, he smiled warmly, “Let’s go to work so I can come home and pass out.”

“I’m really sorry. You’re not mad are you? Because I really couldn’t go back to you being mad. I know I can be a pain and I really had no idea it would be like this and there is so much I need to say and…”

John reached up and covered his mouth, stopping his tirade. He leaned close and kissed his temple. “Shut up, Rodney. Personally, I just want to sleep, but you can talk all you want when we come home. I’ll just lay there and you can rant away if it makes you feel better.”

Removing his hand, John watched Rodney open his mouth to speak and cut him off, “No talking, remember.” He nodded towards the door. “Head down.”

Rodney thought about speaking, but dropped his head in resignation, let out a deep breath and huffed, “Fine.” John followed him out the door, smiling.

The day passed in a blur for John. Every time he thought about the night before his body would shiver and his mind would drift pleasantly. He’d never in his entire life been so fucking turned on and had so many orgasms. He’d probably had more orgasms last night than he had since arriving in Atlantis. Then his mind drifted to the possibility of dying by orgasm but figured it wouldn’t be a bad way to go all things considered.

Rodney touching him this morning had been so fucking cool that he hadn’t realized how seriously fucked he was until the tiredness began to wear him down and he could think about how much he wanted to have Rodney take over like that again. Because as much as he was military commander and he had an image to maintain, he so loved that head space where someone else took over, relieving him of it all. He’d never had the pleasure of just laying back and taking it, so to speak. The pleasure Rodney derived from it only added to the whole hotness of it.

The realization struck him hard and he staggered. Unsurprisingly, Rodney was right there to catch him. He’d been hovering close all day. John blinked hard and stared at him. “I’m so fucked.”

Rodney, of course, was clueless and concerned as he held him up. “You are making even less sense than you usually do.”

John could only mumble, “You own me.”

John was aware of Rodney tensing as he was lowered to the ground. “Um, I think the sun has finally broke through the hair and fried your brains, Colonel.”

Snorting, John glared at him, “I think you can call me John after you’ve stolen my soul.” The sudden fear and hurt that flashed across Rodney’s face made John add quickly with as much of a smile as he could muster, “I wasn’t expecting it is all.”

The hurt look vanished but the fear remained and Rodney stammered, “I tried to tell you.”

“Right,” drawled John, his face scrunching at the fear tarnishing his words and they came out harsher than he intended. “I think you left a few things out.”

Rodney looked around sharply, noticed the guard approaching and hissed at him, “Can we not do this here?”

Seeing the guards, John managed to get to his feet. When Rodney stepped in front of him to face the guards, John’s anger flared. “Don’t.”

There was no way to put into words what John was feeling at that moment. Last night he hadn’t cared that Rodney was the one in charge of everything but right now before the eyes of everyone, it rankled him. Pissed him off that Rodney decided he needed protection like he was suddenly the ‘little woman.’ Fuck that.

Ready to push Rodney aside, John was surprised when he cringed, obviously aware of the infraction and reluctantly stepped aside. “Sorry.”

The hurt look was back and John sighed heavily, the anger draining away. “I’m not mad at you.” Well he was, but one glance towards the guards and he relented. “You’re right. Now isn’t the time.”

The guard, Kovo, approached. He was the quietest of the guards and generally the easiest to get along with. The guards had taken on a different demeanor since Rodney had struck the bargain. The men didn’t have to work as hard for a mere pittance and the guards were reaping the rewards as well. More glowballs meant more trade goods and it didn’t go unnoticed that the workers were happier with the increase in pocket money. Kovo spoke firmly but without malice, “Please, return to work.”

John retrieved his hammer and did as he was told. Rodney stood glaring at Kovo until he shook his head and walked away. John rolled his eyes, “Stop cowing the natives, Rodney.”

“I was only making sure you were all right.”

John shook his head and worked his hammer and chisel around a glowball, “Go play bodyguard to someone else. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself without the hovering.”

At least Rodney had the decency to blush as he tried to deny the accusation, his hand fluttering to emphasize his point. “I’m not hovering.”

Hitting the chisel with growing annoyance, John turned and growled at him, “Go away.”

“Fine.” Rodney crossed his arms indignantly and stomped off.

John went back to work, attacking the wall with a vengeance. It might have been more convincing if his eyes hadn’t kept wandering up and down the path behind him in search of Rodney. He hated the hovering and yet he felt a twinge of loss without Rodney beside him. They were going to have to talk.

Chapter Eight

Lying in bed alone for the second night in a row wasn’t Rodney’s idea of working things out. Frustrated, he rolled to his side, staring at the door and wishing John would come back, but knowing deep down he wouldn’t.

They’d argued and John told him no uncertain terms that it was his job to protect Rodney, not the other way around. Rodney was willing to concede that point but it was more than that. As much as John enjoyed Rodney making love to him, there seemed to be some deep rooted issues with letting him take over. Rodney’s big mistake had been to take the initiative, anxious to please John. And he did, or so he thought, until John became very quiet after. After several hours of tossing and turning, John finally left, saying he just needed to work things out. That was three days ago.

John couldn’t let Rodney have that kind of control. Or wouldn’t. Every attempt to talk with John had ended in stony silence or a shrug. John clearly wasn’t ready to talk. Even on the off chance that John returned, Rodney knew he’d never feed off John again, never share that level of intimacy again. They might share what they had before but it wasn’t the same as what they shared with the feeding, especially with the bonding. He’d risked it all with John and lost. Now he was left alone to pick up the pieces and he just couldn’t do it again. He couldn’t give up his own level of control over his emotions when John clearly wasn’t comfortable with his own.

Tossing on the bed, Rodney rolled away from the door and closed his burning eyes, turning his back on any hope he had. He laid there an indeterminable amount of time, sleep finally beating out the exhaustion.

He was roused from sleep some time later, someone shaking him awake. “Get up.”

Rodney brushed off the familiar voice, “Go away.”

“Damn it, McKay. Get up. Our ride’s here,” hissed John, still nudging him.

“What?” Rodney sat up groggily and ground the heel of his hand into his eyes. He stilled as he became aware of John’s hand still on his shoulder. As he turned towards it, John jerked it away. So…no tender reunion then. Rodney closed his eyes and ducked his head to hide the hurt.

“Jumper. I can feel it out there somewhere,” answered John, getting up and moving around the room.

Rodney looked at John for the first time and frowned, “You woke me up on a feeling?

“Just get dressed,” John ground out, throwing a shirt at Rodney. “We need to find some way to alert them, so they know we’re here.”

“And how do you propose to do that,” he asked, slipping on his shoes and pulling the shirt over his head. “This isn’t exactly technoworld,”

Standing at the door, John opened it enough to peer out. “You can wave a fire stick for all I care. I just want to get the hell out of here.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you do,” countered Rodney, not bothering to hide the bitterness.

John bristled, “We need to get out of here before the rescue party thinks we’re not here and leaves.” Rodney stepped beside him and John whispered, “Stay with me. No side trips.”

“Well, yes, because I was gonna sneak off to the mall and pick up that new pair of shoes I’ve been dying for. Maybe grab a corndog or two,” smirked Rodney.

“McKay!” hissed John, glowering at him.

Raising his chin and looking to the ceiling, Rodney snipped, “Yes, Colonel. I’ll stay right by your side,” He gestured towards the hallway impatiently. “Can we just go now?”

John only gave a cursory glance back as he exited the room. Rodney started to follow, hurried back and gathered the four glowballs that lit the small room and tucked them in his pocket. Receiving a death glare for his efforts, Rodney only replied, “Fire stick.”

Leaving the building was almost too easy and Rodney stayed right on Sheppard’s heels as they moved from one building to the next, slowly working their way out of the compound. If Rodney really concentrated, he could sense the low hum of the jumper. Obviously the Colonel’s stronger gene had picked up on it sooner. As they waited in the shadows for another guard to make the rounds, Rodney tried to calm his ragged breathing. Not that he was afraid. No. He was terrified. The only thing keeping him from going off the deep end of fear was Sheppard’s proximity. He was all but plastered to the man’s back as they peered around the corner.

He muttered under his breath, “This can’t end well.” Sheppard twisted his head and for a brief moment they stared eye to eye before Rodney felt the Colonel take a stuttering breath. The gods chose that moment to erupt the night into chaos with yelling and shouting and imminent death.

*********

Lorne was flying directly overhead, scanning the HUD for anything that would indicate that the rumors they’d heard were accurate. They’d revisited all their trading worlds in hopes of getting a gate address for the Telosians and up until a day ago they’d come up with nil. Ronon and Teyla had returned home almost a month ago…alone.

They’d begged, pleaded, even threatened the Ytallarans to reveal the Telosian homeworld but no help was forthcoming. The Ytallarans simple did not know where the Telosians came from. They would appear, trade, sometimes take the unsuspecting wanderer and leave again.

They’d found other worlds that knew of the Telosians but no one knew the gate address. This week, one of their regular trading partners, the Kolarians, came to them with news of the Telosians. They’d shown up to trade the little rocks that put off light and the Kolarians, bless them, insisted on knowing exactly who they were trading with and learned the Telosians gate address. They’d only secured the information because the Telosians were anxious to trade the fine weaves the Kolarians were known for.

Lorne, Ronon, Teyla and Carson had come through to Telosia ten hours ago and had searched three other camps before finding this one. This was by far the biggest camp, but they’d have to wait until morning before knowing if Sheppard and McKay were part of the slave population. Carson was riding shotgun, nervously watching the HUD when Teyla leaned over his seat and pointed to the screen. “There.”

Four sets of eyes focused on where she was pointing and they watched as two heat sources moved from building to building, working closer to the edge of the huge encampment. Ronon spoke up, “Could be anybody?”

Just then the camp began to light up and the two figures were running. Lorne grinned, “Or it could be them.”

Carson was smiling too. “Aye.”

Teyla chimed in, “Perhaps we should land.” Pointing at the edge of the camp in the direction the two men were heading. “There.”

“Already headed that way,” answered Lorne.

Ronon looked towards Teyla. “We’ll give ‘em cover.”

Lorne nodded. “I’m not going to uncloak until we absolutely have to. No point raising more alarms.” He turned to Carson and asked, “You want to take over and I’ll help with that?”

“I’d rather not,” replied Carson, his voice shaky. He really hated flying. “I should probably be available in case one of them is hurt.”

“Okay, but be ready in case they need help,” agreed Lorne, hating that he couldn’t join the others in retrieving the lost team members.

A pale Carson nodded in agreement, then followed Ronon and Teyla into the rear compartment. Ronon was pacing the rear hatch waiting for Lorne to land. Teyla wasn’t pacing, but she was just as anxious to reunite with her teammates.

Lorne shouted from the front, “One of them is down. They’re being flanked.” He muttered under his breath as he watched one of them help the other and they both kept moving towards the periphery of camp, “Come on, come on.” As they cleared the camp, Lorne turned to the Ronon. “I’m gonna land between them and the camp.”

He looked at Carson, “Let Teyla and Ronon provide cover. I don’t want you out there unless there are no other options. If one of them is hurt we can’t afford to lose you.”

Carson was pulling his pack out and setting up emergencies supplies as the jumper touched down. Teyla impatiently punched the hatch panel, leaving as the sounds of shouting and gunfire filtered into the jumper. Hastily readying supplies, Carson moved to the opening and peered out just in time to see Rodney running by with the Colonel draped over his shoulders. He was limping badly. Carson shouted over the noise, “Rodney, over here.”

Rodney ran a few more steps and fell to his knees. He didn’t acknowledge Carson as he bent over Sheppard’s prone form. Taking a quick look in Ronon and Teyla’s direction, Carson darted out of the jumper and approached his friends at a crouched run.

Dropping beside Rodney, he gave him a gentle push so he could get a better look at the Colonel. Rodney’s head came up and Carson gasped as he fell back on his ass in shock. It took all his self control not to back away in alarm. He rasped out loud at the sight before him, “Bloody hell.”

Snarling and hissing, Rodney’s mouth dripped blood, covering his chin. His eyes were a feral, deep and glowing blue. His pointed canines, glistening blood, shone bright in the pale light of the jumper.

Recovering quickly, Carson carefully eased closer to the pair as Rodney bent over the Colonel again. Each time he tried to move, Rodney lifted his head and growled. The tension and fear were thick and Carson wasn’t sure what to do. He wanted to help, but Rodney wasn’t having any of it, each time returning his mouth to Sheppard’s neck. Carson’s heart raced as he tried to process it all when suddenly a single shot of Ronon’s stunner dropped Rodney over the Colonel’s still body.

Wide-eyed, Carson looked up at the Satedan, his gun still aimed on the pair. “Why did ya do that?”

“Ain’t got time. Natives are restless.” He nodded over his shoulder where Teyla was holding off the guards. “Gotta go.” Ronon turned his head enough to call Lorne out, his eyes darting between Teyla and Rodney.

When Lorne appeared, Ronon issued commands. “Help Beckett. I’m with Teyla.”

Lorne nodded and rushed to help Carson get the two men into the jumper while Ronon returned to aid Teyla. The guards seemed to realize they were outgunned and were staying at the edge of the encampment, afraid to venture too close to the superior firepower. Both Ronon and Teyla edged closer to the jumper, their guns trained on the gathering crowd. Teyla dared a glance over her shoulder where Carson and Lorne were dragging Sheppard into the jumper. “Carson?”

Carson was red faced and panting from the exertion of moving the two men. He managed to answer breathlessly, “They’re alive.”

Teyla followed them and Ronon stood guard as she pressed the hatch closed. He stepped in at the last possible moment, his eyes never leaving the native population. As soon as the hatch sealed shut they all visibly relaxed. Lorne was already in the pilot’s seat. “We’re outta here.”

Dropping beside Carson to aid in medical treatment, Teyla asked gently, “What can I do?”

“I cannot find but a small wound on the Colonel. Rodney has a gunshot wound in his thigh and…ah…” Carson stuttered, and looked up at Ronon.

Ronon stood above them, his gun still in hand, alert to any movement from the men on the floor. “Seen a movie with Sheppard ‘bout that. Said it wasn’t real.”

“It’s real, as you saw,” replied Carson, cutting away Rodney’s pant leg to stop the bleeding. The bullet went clear through which was a blessing at this point. He hated to think what cutting into the man might do. Tearing at the wrapper of a pressure bandage, he barely pressed it to Rodney’s thigh when he jerked awake. Before anyone could make a move Rodney had himself jammed in the corner, his arm wrapped possessively around the Colonel’s chest, providing the perfect shield against Ronon’s blaster.

His eyes were wild, sweat poured off his face, matting his hair as he panted harshly for air. His pant leg was stained red and the now exposed site oozed fresh blood as he sat with Sheppard between his outstretched legs. Ronon had his gun pointed at the pair, his stance threatening as he said calmly, “Let him go, McKay.”

Rodney snarled at them, making Teyla gasp and back away in alarm. She uttered a half strangled whisper, “Wraith.”

Carson’s hand shot out and pushed Ronon’s gun down, holding it away from the pair as he tried to reassure Teyla, “He’s not Wraith. He’s a vampire.”

“There is no such thing as vampires,” replied Teyla, “The Colonel said they are a myth,” her voice shaky, but recovering slowly.

Lorne was twisting in his seat at the commotion. “Do I need to land?”

“No,” stammered Carson, his attention returning to Rodney who was frantically pulling Sheppard closer, one hand holding him against his chest while the other roamed chest and arms as if in search of something. Sheppard’s head lolled back onto Rodney’s shoulder. The exposed neck seemed to draw Rodney’s attention and he sniffed at it.

Rodney smelled John, sharp and alive. The smell of blood heightening his senses. His memories were vague--fuzzy as he tried to remember, but there was so much blood. Blood everywhere. So much blood. Too much blood. He’d sucked and licked, cleaning, repairing as fast as he could. Too much blood. It drowned his senses, filling him with need. The need to protect. He had to save John, had to take over even if it meant he’d lose him. He gripped him tighter, holding him possessively. John was his… had to save… had to protect.

Rodney was lost in the blood induced haze. Like a drug it flooded his system, better than any enzyme. The wild, naturalness of the blood let him take care of John. John was his. Mine, mine, mine his mind chanted happily. He licked at the exposed neck, reeling under the smell and taste of his lover.

Sheppard’s eyes fluttered open and he moaned incoherently. Carson took the opportunity to draw everyone’s attention to the Colonel, hoping it would calm Rodney. “Colonel, can you hear me?”

“Ngghh,” answered Sheppard, his head lazily trying to lift off Rodney’s shoulder. Feeling Rodney’s warm breath at the junction of his neck, he rolled his head, exposing it further and moaned when Rodney licked at it, “Mmmm.”

Carson pleaded with him, louder, “Colonel!”

Sheppard’s eyes came open and again tried to lift his head. He answered sleepily, “Carson?”

“Aye, Colonel. Can you tell me what happened?”

“Shot,” he drawled. “Neck.” He attempted to raise his hand but it wouldn’t cooperate and dropped heavily back into his lap. “Bleeding. Rodney...” His eyes seemed to focus some and he frowned, “Rodney?”

Carson spoke reassuringly, “He’s holding you, Colonel.”

John turned his head and pulled back at the pure animal lust in Rodney’s eyes. Rodney’s teeth grazed his neck and John tensed then tried to pull away. “No!” Rodney held him tight and John pleaded, “Not here.”

The whine of Ronon’s blaster startled them all and Rodney opened his mouth, exposing sharp fangs as he snarled loudly. In his primal state, he couldn’t find any words and the sharp hissing fear was all he could utter. His only defense was John and he buried his head in his shoulder, whining with terror.

Adrenalin pumping through his veins, John sat up straighter, his hand dropping to Rodney’s thigh for leverage. Rodney stiffened and howled in pain behind him, his eyes darker and bluer from the pain.

Staring down at the blood on his hand, John reacted, “Oh shit. You’re bleeding.” His eyes turned to Carson. “He’s been shot.” Seeing Ronon with his gun trained on Rodney, Sheppard commanded sluggishly, “Put the gun down, he won’t hurt you.”

Shaking his head, Ronon refused, “He was sucking your blood. Makes him dangerous.”

John shook his head, keeping himself firmly in front of Rodney despite the lightheadedness that threatened to send him into oblivion. “No, he was saving me.” Ronon wasn’t convinced and John barked at him, his head spinning, “He won’t hurt you.”

“Saw the blood,” said Ronon, his voice monotone, unbelieving.

Blackness encroached on John’s vision and he slumped into Rodney as his eyes rolled back. The added weight caught Rodney off guard and John fell forward, exposing Rodney to Ronon’s stunner. One shot and he slumped over John once more.

Carson scooted forward pulling the Colonel out from under him. “Help me here.” Ronon holstered his gun and dragged Sheppard clear of McKay.

Teyla took a deep breath and stepped forward cautiously. “What can I do?”

“Make the Colonel comfortable. I’ll help Rodney,” answered Carson, letting the doctor in him take over so he didn’t have to think about anything else at the moment. Grabbing fresh bandages, he slipped one under Rodney’s leg and applied pressure to the exit wound on his thigh with the other. Rodney stayed unconscious but he didn’t want to take a chance of him waking. He turned to Ronon and said reluctantly, “Perhaps you should tie him up.”

Nodding, Ronon searched the cargo compartments for rope. “They going to make it?”

“Aye, the Colonel’s suffering from blood loss and Rodney just has the leg wound. Thankfully, the bullet went through and through. I’d hate to think how he’d do in surgery if you’re stunner doesn’t keep him down.” He looked around the bloody mess of the jumper and sighed, “We need to get them home.”

Chapter Nine

Carson sat at the edge of Colonel Sheppard’s bed willing the man to wake up so he could tell them what happened. Elizabeth joined him and stood at the end of the bed. “How is he?”

“He lost a lot of blood. He’s on his second unit now.”

“You say he was shot?” asked Elizabeth, frowning as she looked John over for injuries.

Carson nodded, pointing to the red line that ran across John’s neck where it met his shoulder, “It’s almost healed.” As they stared at the healed wound, Carson added hesitantly, “The Colonel did say that Rodney saved him. I don’t think he’s dangerous.”

Elizabeth winced at the sudden turn in the conversation. “You know I only did what was best for everyone. At least until we know more.”

Rubbing his arm, Carson sighed wearily, “I’m not sure locking him up is the way to go.”

“You saw what he did, Carson. Ronon’s stunner, the sedatives and he still broke the restraints trying to get to John,” argued Elizabeth, looking around the infirmary where equipment now lay broken. She paused then asked, “Did something on the planet cause this?”

Carson hesitated and finally shook his head, “No. There’s nothing in his blood work.”

“So how did we miss something like this?” exclaimed Elizabeth. “Is there a chance it developed before he left on this mission? Something we missed. And how do we fix it?”

“He’s a vampire, Elizabeth. It isn’t some illness that can be cured,” scoffed Carson.

“How do we know that?” sighed Weir in exasperation. “I’m sorry. I’m having a hard time getting my head around this. I can’t say that I ever put much store in legends like vampires and the like. They were just stories.”

“Stories and myths often have some basis in the real world,” Carson said.

“But a vampire, Carson? Surely, he couldn’t hide that.” She added with a frown, “I thought vampires hated sunlight?”

Carson suppressed a smile, “Well, Rodney has always been rather outspoken about spending time outdoors.”

“Yes, he has,” countered Elizabeth, her mouth rising in a half smile. It was gone with her next question, “Don’t vampires need blood to survive?”

Shifting on his feet, Carson crossed his arms. “I doubt they’ve survived through the ages relying on a single food source. The fact that he hasn’t fed on anyone should be proof that he isn’t dangerous to anyone. He hasn’t actually hurt anyone.” Carson looked up and met her gaze, “Let me move him to his quarters. This is Rodney, Elizabeth, not some alien we have to fear. He was shot and needs better medical attention than I can give him in that bloody cage.”

Reaching out, she tried to comfort the distraught doctor. “I can’t risk it. You said yourself that sedation didn’t work and the restraints didn’t either. I know this goes against your sensibilities, Carson but it’s for his safety too.

They’d considered locking Rodney in his quarters but he knew too much about Ancient technology and the lock would only be a minor hindrance if he really wanted free. In the end, they’d decided on the Wraith cage for security reasons. As of yet, only senior staff and Rodney’s team were aware of his real condition. Everyone else that needed to know was told it was some noncontagious alien virus that merited observation.

“He was injured and out of his mind. I don’t think you can hold him accountable for his actions.” Carson wanted to point out that even an injured animal will lash out when cornered but Rodney was no animal. “He should be in the infirmary, not locked away in some cell. He’s not the enemy.”

“We don’t know that. At this point we can’t even say for sure he’s a vampire.”

“And if he is, what will you do? Send him back to Earth. What do you think they’d do to him there?” questioned Carson.

Elizabeth sighed, the weight of command heavy on her shoulders, “I’m more concerned with what they would do to him here if others were to find out. At least by locking him up we have some control until we have more information.” She nodded towards John’s bed, her expression softening. “How long?”

“Soon I hope,” sighed Carson.

“Call me when he wakes.” Elizabeth left as he turned to check the John’s vitals. They were improving but the blood loss would take time to recover from.

A quick note on the chart and Carson retreated to his office. Keying his radio, he called, “Radek?”

A few seconds passed before Dr. Zelenka answered “Yes?”

“If you have a moment, I need to speak with you,” said Carson, wearily.

Radek must have sensed it and responded in kind, “I am headed that way.”

“I’ll speak to you then.”

Sitting at his desk, head heavy in his hands, Carson sighed. Of all the possible outcomes of a month long absence, Rodney being a vampire wouldn’t have made the list. He had a lot of questions but with Sheppard unconscious and Rodney locked up, not quite himself, there were no answers forthcoming.

On cue, a knock came at his door and Carson lifted his head, his voice weary as he answered, “Come in.”

Radek entered and sat down in the chair beside the desk. “How is Rodney?”

Carson shook his head solemnly, “You could probably answer that better than I can.”

“You are not making sense, milenec,” said Radek, looking concerned.

Slumping back in his chair, Carson explained, “Rodney is a vampire.”

Radek stared open mouthed, his face pale as he cursed, “Proboha!” He looked at Carson and asked quietly, stunned, “Where is he?”

Closing his eyes, Carson sadly shook his head, “They’ve locked him up.”

Lurching to his feet, Radek asked as he moved to the door, “Where?”

Carson bolted from his chair, grabbing Radek before he could leave. His voice was on the verge of panic, but he forced himself to remain calm, “I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone. There is nothing you can do.”

Radek turned sharply, angry. “I cannot let them lock him up like an animal.”

“Listen to me, luv,” insisted Carson, holding Radek in place with a light touch. “I know you want to help and we’ll do what we can, but we have to be careful.”

“I am only concerned for Rodney at the moment. He does not deserve this,” spit Radek, his anger unabated.

Carson sighed, “I don’t think it’s just Rodney we should be worried about.”

“I am not worried about others,” said Radek defiantly, standing straighter.

Nudging Radek towards the chair, Carson made him sit. Radek fumed but Carson persisted, “When we found them, Rodney was wild. The Colonel had been hit in the neck, bleeding out and Rodney did the only thing he could. Ronon had to stun him to get him to let go. Even then he came to a short time later and grabbed him again. Rodney had been shot in the leg and he ignored it. We tried restraining him, but he broke through like they were nothing. I tried sedating him, but it didn’t keep him down either. He was going to get to the Colonel or die trying.”

Radek let out the breath he was holding. “Bloodlust.”

Nodding, Carson answered, “Aye, at least that would be my guess.” He rested a hand on Radek’s. “If that is the case than explaining it could make things very difficult for both of them, especially the Colonel. You cannot explain the bloodlust without outing them.”

Nodding in resignation, Radek hesitated, “How are they doing now?”

“The Colonel will be fine.” The look on Carson’s face darkened, his irritation reflected in his voice. “I haven’t seen Rodney since they hauled him off.”

“You should go see him. Talk to him.” Radek stood, squeezing Carson’s hand. “I will speak with Elizabeth.” As Carson started to protest, Radek cut him off. “I will be careful what I say.”

***************

His memory was starting to return and with it a headache to rival his worst Siberian hangover. Through the haze of pain, Rodney vaguely remembered John being shot.

The look on his face when he’d fallen to his knees, his hand reaching up to where the blood poured from the severed artery was something Rodney wasn’t likely to forget anytime soon. There was no conscious thought after that, he’d reacted instantly, sucking and licking at the wound even as he’d tried to drag Sheppard clear of the approaching guards.

There’d been so much blood, more than Rodney had ever had in a single feeding and it had surged in his veins like the good drugs Carson hoarded. As he’d worked to heal the damage to John’s neck, the blood had coated his tongue, poured down his throat, overloading his senses and taking away his humanity.

His blood surged and ignoring the pain that lanced through his leg, Rodney jerked to his feet. Panting from pain, his eyes darted to his surroundings and finding himself caged, he paced anxiously. He needed to get out. Get to John.

Spying Ronon near the door, he limped to the edge of the cage. His voice was rough, deep, as he pleaded, “Let me out.”

“Can’t,” answered Ronon, moving closer.

Heart racing, Rodney twitched nervously as he paced behind the bars. “I need out.”

“Can’t.”

Rodney stopped and turned sharply to face Ronon and ground out, “Can’t or won’t?”

“Don’t matter,” said Ronon, shrugging. “You’re stuck here ‘til Weir says otherwise.”

Enraged, Rodney threw himself at the bars only to be thrown back when the containment shield surged. He shook it off and advanced again, his eyes glowing as he snarled at Ronon, “Let me out of here.”

Ronon remained calm as he watched McKay. The man was pacing furiously, dragging his injured leg, ignoring the blood that now seeped through the bandage. Ronon keyed his radio, “Beckett?”

“What is it, Ronon?”

“He’s awake. His leg’s bleeding,” answered Ronon, his eyes never leaving McKay. He tried calming him down but his teammate was no longer listening--- listening instead to some inner demon. The man reminded Ronon too much of his time on the enzyme, strung out and needy. McKay’s body was trying to sweat out the worst of it, his face red with either pain or anger, maybe both and his movements jittery.

Every few minutes he’d yell for Sheppard and rush the shield only to fall back, each time weaker than before until finally he just lay on the floor, curled up and hugging himself tightly. He was soaked to the skin, hair matted to his head, sweat dripping off his face as his chest heaved for air.

That was how Carson found him when he entered about ten minutes later. The doctor was livid seeing Rodney huddled on the floor, his pant leg bloodstained. Carson glared at Ronon. “Open it.”

Ronon considered refusing but something in the doctor’s eyes made him falter. Unholstering his weapon, Ronon opened the door. Beckett eyed the gun in his hand suspiciously. “You won’t be needin’ that.” He waved at Rodney. “Look at him. He’s no threat.”

Ronon shrugged, easing beside Carson, his gun at ready as he spoke. “Ain’t himself.”

Carson huffed, “No, I don’t suppose he is.” Approaching cautiously, Carson called out softly, “Rodney, how are you doin’, lad?”

Rodney sniffled, his voice weak as he rasped, “John?”

“He’s doin’ fine, Rodney.” Carson reached out and patted his friend’s shoulder. “I’m sure we’ll have a time keepin’ him away when he wakes. Will you let me take care of your leg? You’re bleedin’ you bloody fool.”

Rodney gave him a barely discernable nod, but said nothing. Carson moved carefully, mindful of Rodney’s state of mind.

Ronon moved into McKay’s field of view, making sure he was aware of his presence.

Curled on the floor, sweat trickling into his eyes, Rodney squinted up at Ronon. “You shot me.”

Ronon shrugged, “Didn’t want to.” Carson smiled, nodding at Ronon to continue. It was distracting Rodney enough so that he could work.

“You shot me more than once,” Rodney pointed out indignantly.

“Tougher than you look,” snorted Ronon, with a hint of respect. McKay seemed more lucid. Maybe the aggression had helped purge his system. Still cautious, Ronon stepped back, allowing Beckett more room to work. Uncovered, the wound didn’t look as bad as it could have. Only a few stitches in the entry site were torn and Carson repaired it with minimal fuss.

Rodney eyes were glazed with pain and he was uncharacteristically quiet. Carson finished bandaging his thigh and looked up at Ronon. “I’m goin’ to stay with him for a bit. Why don’t you see about a mattress and some blankets? If he has to stay here at least he can be comfortable.”

“Ain’t leaving,” insisted Ronon.

Carson snorted in frustration then leaned over Rodney, his brogue soft as he spoke to his friend, “You’re not going to hurt me if Ronon leaves are you?”

Rodney shook his head, his voice full of despair as he mumbled, “No.”

Looking up at Ronon, Carson stated, “See, he’s not goin’ to hurt me. You can lock me in if you like.”

“Can’t chance it, Doc.”

“Aye, but I know Rodney and I don’t think he wants to hurt anyone.” Beckett seemed to take it as a done deal and added, “Stop by the infirmary and pick up an extra set of scrubs if you would. I don’t want him catching a chill having to wear wet clothes.”

Ronon noticed McKay shivering on the floor and without a second thought he removed his heavy overcoat and draped it over him. He hesitated to leave, taking his job to protect seriously. All his instincts told him that McKay was no longer a threat, but there were too many unknowns. He couldn’t make himself leave and shook his head at Beckett. “Nope, can’t leave you alone. I’ll call Teyla.”

Rodney winced at Ronon’s reluctance to leave. And yet there was no reason Ronon should trust him. He hadn’t made the best first impression. He recalled the terror in Teyla’s eyes when she’d seen him at his worst. Rodney couldn’t really blame her or Ronon’s reaction. Vampires were too much like Wraith to denizens of the Pegasus Galaxy. They at least could rationalize their fear. The same couldn’t be said of his own people. Their fears were based on myths and misconceptions.

More than their fears were Rodney’s own. The high was dissipating and rational thought came easier. Along with the rising apprehension of what they were going to do with him. To wake and find himself caged like a Wraith was not very reassuring. Realizing it was those he considered friends who instigated it, even less so.

As if reading his mind, Carson said reassuringly, “No ones goin’ to hurt you, Rodney. This is just until they decide if it’s safe to release you.”

The words didn’t sound reassuring and Rodney huddled further into the coat, wanting to hide away from it all. He was so tired and just wanted to sleep, hoping he would wake and it would all be a dream. Sleep wouldn’t come, fear and anxiety keeping him from drifting off.

He was shaking, his body fighting the last of the blood high. All he could think of was how much John probably hated him now but wanting him near. It was bad enough John had avoided him those last few days on the planet, but now Rodney had just made things worse. At least during the bloodlust feeding and the time after, he could sense John, sense what he wanted, even if it was confusing at times. In the jumper, there’d been too much blood, drowning out everything but his need to protect.

Even now, he was only beginning to get a sense of John. It was vague but growing stronger. It took a few minutes and realizing what it was, Rodney curled tighter around himself under the heavy coat, thankful for the shield against the emotions welling inside. John was pissed and it was getting closer.

**********

Radek caught up with Dr. Weir as she was leaving her office. He hesitated, “I was wondering if you had a moment.”

“I was on my way to speak with Rodney.”

“Hmm, yes. He is reason I wish to see you.”

Mistaking the purpose of his visit, Elizabeth apologized, “I’m sorry but he isn’t ready to resume his duties. He’d want you in charge in his absence.”

Radek nodded nervously, “Yes, yes, but that is not what I wish to speak of.”

Elizabeth motioned down the hall as they walked. “Join me. We can talk along the way.

Self-conscious, Radek swallowed and took a deep breath before beginning. “I know of vampires.”

Stopping, Elizabeth looked at him with wide eyes. “They exist?”

Sighing, Radek nodded, “Yes, yes. They are not so uncommon where I come from.” He paused, “There are stories and I have known those that have had a close encounter with one.”

Elizabeth paled and continued to walk, “I really didn’t think they were real.” She added thoughtfully, “Although, considering all I’ve seen I suppose anything is possible.”

Radek walked beside her, lost in thought. Elizabeth pulled him back. “Radek?”

“Ah, yes, I am sorry,” said Radek, pushing his glasses up. “As I was saying, vampires are not uncommon. What Rodney is suffering with is. It only happens when a vampire takes in too much blood. During a feeding, a vampire only takes what is necessary for survival. Never enough to harm the,” he winced as he spoke, “the victim. Do not get me wrong, some do of course, but they are rare. Most only feed to survive. I am assuming since no such occurrences have been reported on Atlantis that he has found other means to survive. What Rodney did for Colonel Sheppard was not a feeding. He had to drink a lot of blood to save him. More than he should have.”

Elizabeth raised a curious brow. “I don’t understand. Don’t vampires need blood to survive?” She shrugged, embarrassed at her presumption. “At least that’s what they say.”

Radek snorted, “No, although it is most preferred. Food serves same purpose but is less efficient.” He raised a finger, a thought crossing his mind and finally said, “Yes, yes, of course. I never made the connection. This is why Rodney needs to eat so much.” He rolled his eyes at his own blindness. “If he were feeding here on Atlantis then he would not need to eat so much.”

“This all very informative, but it doesn’t explain why Rodney is acting as he is,” insisted Elizabeth, impatiently.

Answering with a tinge of exasperation, Radek explained, “He ingested too much blood. His body could not handle it, much like enzyme overdose.”

Elizabeth looked dubious and said tentatively, “I don’t mean to question your credibility, but this is all still speculation. You say he isn’t dangerous and yet he practically destroyed the infirmary trying to reach Colonel Sheppard?”

Sweat gathered on his brow and Radek sidestepped the question, stuttering a response, “I do not know.”

Chapter Ten

Rodney suddenly sat upright, his eyes wide as he glanced at the door then around the cage, as if contemplating escape. Carson instantly tried to calm him, “You need to lie down.”

Shaking his head, Rodney was already doing his best to scoot into one of the corners. Breathing faster and highly agitated, he grabbed for the metal supports of the cage to pull himself up. Carson rushed to his side, worried about Rodney’s leg. Rodney was mumbling, casting nervous glances towards the door. He struggled to get to his feet, “Stupid, stupid, stupid… knew he’d be pissed. Never learn…”

“Rodney, what are you goin’ on about?” asked Carson, exasperated by his friend’s change in mood as he tried to keep him from rising. “And stop moving around before you hurt yourself.”

Pushing Carson away, Rodney got his good leg under him and stood up, swaying, eyes glued to the door. Twitching nervously, he panted as his breathing increased. “He’s coming.”

Confused, Carson asked, “Who’s coming?”

Rodney looked at Carson, his body tensing as he answered on the verge of panic, “Jo... Colonel Sheppard.” The glow in his eyes intensified. Grabbing Carson to get his attention, he pleaded, “Don’t let him in here.”

“He’s in the infirmary, Rodney,” insisted Carson, frowning at his friend.

Shaking his head in earnest, Rodney mumbled, his hands waving anxiously, “No, no, no, no. He’s on his way here and I can’t have him here. Can’t... can’t stop it. Can’t have him here. Not like this. Too dangerous. Too... too... He looked a Carson, his eyes dilated and very blue. “You don’t understand. I won’t be able to stop.”

Carson stepped in front of Rodney, grabbing his arms to calm him and he whispered softly, “Oh, I’ve an inkling.” With a quick glance over his shoulder to where Ronon was standing, he dropped his voice lower, “Are you bonded to him, Rodney? Is that it?”

Eyes wide, Rodney stared at Carson for several long seconds before nodding frantically, nervously wiping his nose with the back of his hand. He rasped, still stunned, “How did you know?”

“I know a lot more than you think, Rodney.” With a gentle tug, Carson tried to get him to sit. “Come on, then. You need to sit down before you fall down and I’ll not be having too much sympathy if you bust your stitches again.”

Rodney shrugged out of his grasp and limped towards the opposite corner, relying heavily on the bars to keep him on his feet. “Can’t sit. Need to be ready.” His head shot up and his eyes stared at the door, “Aw shit. He’s almost here, Carson. Please don’t let him near me.”

Fearful Rodney would hyperventilate at the rate he was going, Carson barked at Ronon as he blocked Rodney in the corner, hoping to stop him from pacing. “Lock us in. Don’t let the Colonel in here.”

Noting Rodney’s mood shift, Ronon had other ideas and moved closer to the pair. Rodney lurched back, losing his balance as he tried to compensate for his bad leg. Carson grabbed for him, and glared at Ronon over his shoulder, putting every ounce of authority he had in to his voice, “Get out and shut the bloody door.”

Training took over and Ronon didn’t hesitate. Grabbing Carson by the back of the collar, he hauled him out of the cage and made it to the wall panel to shut the door just as Sheppard skidded into the room, looking furious and out of breath. Carson was livid as Ronon released him, but was cut off by the Colonel’s sudden arrival. Sheppard looked pale and drawn, not totally unexpected considering how much blood he’d lost. As Carson tried to approach, Sheppard gave him a look that left no room for doubt. Carson backed off.

Teyla was right on his heals and apologized immediately, “I am sorry but I could not keep him in the infirmary.” Any further explanations died as she watched Rodney slide down the wall to the floor. Looking at Ronon for some sort of explanation all she got was a quiet shrug.

Sheppard was standing stock still at the closed door of the cage, his jaw clamped tightly as he growled, “Open the door.”

Ronon didn’t move, watching as the scene unfolded. Rodney sat on the floor now, his legs stretched out in front of him, his hands and face clenched, eyes shining an eerie blue as he stared at Sheppard. Rodney was breathing fast and he gasped out between one breath and the next, “No. Stay out.”

Carson used the distraction to ease around the cage, closer to Rodney in case he was needed. Not that he could do much as long as he was on the outside.

John turned sharply towards Ronon, his voice low and dangerous as he commanded, “Open. The. Door.”

The two men stared at each other for several seconds. Teyla was moving forward to mediate when Dr. Weir and Dr. Zelenka burst through the door. Assessing the situation, Elizabeth calmly told Ronon, “Leave the door closed-- for now.”

Ronon gave her a small nod and took a short step back until his body blocked the panel, his eyes never leaving Sheppard’s. The Colonel whirled on Weir, barely restraining his fury. “Why the hell is he locked up?”

Elizabeth’s raised a brow in surprise. “Do you really need me to tell you that? Look at him, John,” she said, gesturing to cage. All eyes turned to where Rodney sat huddled in the corner. He was fidgeting, his fingers and hands rubbing at his arms as he stared at Sheppard. His breath was loud in the room and the glow of blue in his eyes was impossible to miss. Mouth open as he sucked in air, there was no mistaking the pointed teeth that had put him in the cell in the first place.

Drawn to it, John took an unconscious step towards the cage before he realized what he was doing. He jerked back to himself, turning his back on Rodney as he confronted Weir, missing the hurt look in the scientist’s eyes. “Was it necessary to put him in there? He’s not dangerous.”

“You don’t know that. You were unconscious through the worst of it.”

“So lock him up in his quarters, not in there like he’s the enemy,” barked John, infuriated that Rodney was being treated with no more consideration than the Wraith they’d confined in the same cage.

“We tried that when you were infected with the retrovirus and several men were injured during your escape. I’m not going to take that chance again,” stated Elizabeth, her arms crossed as she defended her actions. It took all her diplomatic training not to turn away from John’s angry glare.

“And I’m saying he isn’t dangerous,” countered Sheppard, his voice low and barely controlled.

“We have no proof that he isn’t. I’m not willing to take that chance,” insisted Elizabeth.

As Sheppard and Weir argued, Radek stepped away and joined Carson near Rodney. He squatted down opposite Carson at the outside corner of the cell, “Carson.”

Smiling weakly, Carson nodded towards the door where the Colonel and Elizabeth were arguing. “How did it go?”

Radek closed his eyes briefly and shook his head. “She listened but I am not sure she believes. Too much is clouded in hearsay. I tried to convince her he was not threat but I could not say what I should have,” he said guiltily.

“You did what you could,” consoled Carson, knowing too well how difficult the conversation must have been. There was a fine line between what they could say and what they couldn’t... wouldn’t.

Glancing at Rodney, who was looking decidedly miserable inside the cage, Radek asked with concern, “How is he?”

Carson shook his head, “Not good. He’s doesn’t want the colonel near him.”

“He’s right here,” Rodney scoffed, wiping his runny nose with the back of his hand.

“And as pleasant as always,” quipped Radek, resisting a smile. It was encouraging that Rodney had enough of his facilities to be sarcastic. “And to think I missed you.”

“I'm touched,” retorted Rodney. Frowning suspiciously, his voice rising, he asked, “Why are you here? Making sure I’ve gone off the deep end before you usurp my position.” The bite of his words were lost to the tremors that shook his frame, his knuckles white as his fingers clawed at the floor.

Radek snorted, “I have had your job for a month, Rodney. I am saving you to save myself from ulcer.” He watched Carson reaching to take Rodney’s pulse as he occupied the scientist with small talk.

Sweating heavily, his movements jittery, Rodney looked across the cage at Weir and Sheppard, who were still arguing. Ronon and Teyla stayed back along the wall, occasionally indulging in a silent conversation of shrugs and questioning looks.

“Oh please, I’ve already been convicted,” huffed Rodney. He glanced up at Sheppard then leaned his head against the bars that confined him, his voice dropping, “No way they’ll let me stay now. Besides, what can you possibly contribute that would save me?”

Radek sneered, “I could let you rot in cage like Wraith.” As Rodney paled, Radek felt bad for his comment and joked, “I think I will play hero for once. Take away your glory.”

“Like you could,” snorted Rodney. He added bitterly, his voice stuttering as he trembled, “Unless you have a miracle up your ass, I’m not buying it.”

With his back to the others in the room, Radek leaned closer and spoke in a hushed tone, “You are not only vampire here.”

Rodney eyes widened, his mouth opening and closing but no sound was forthcoming.

Carson squeezed his wrist. “Breathe, Rodney.”

With a sharp inhale, Rodney sucked in a lungful of air and then another before he gasped, “Who?” His eyes darted between Carson and Radek. “Which of you? Both?”

“Rodney, please. Not so loud,” pleaded Carson, hissing nervously and glancing towards the others in the room, hoping they hadn’t overheard.

Their conversation seemed to be waning as John turned, his eyes settling on Rodney. As if in response, Rodney’s breathing increased and he backed himself further into the corner and was muttering to himself. “Stay back, stay back. Oh god, don’t come in here.”

Rodney’s fear was real and Radek’s features tightened. Exhaling loudly, he patted Carson’s shoulder and stood, “Stay with him. I will talk to others.” He moved around the cage towards Sheppard and the others.

Carson reached through the bars, placing a steadying hand on Rodney’s shoulder. “Rodney, look at me.”

Rodney’s eyes were fixed on Sheppard. He pleaded desperately, “Don’t let him in here. I can’t be responsible if he comes in here.”

Carson tried to reassure him, “You won’t do anything he doesn’t want, Rodney.”

Tearing his gaze away from John’s, Rodney growled, “He doesn’t know what he wants. It’s like trying to figure out a two-year-old. He has the attention span of a gnat.” Rodney closed his eyes wearily and dropped his head with a forlorn sigh, “I don’t know what he wants.”

Their conversation was interrupted by Sheppard’s loud, terse voice, “I won’t let you send him to Earth.”

“I’m not saying we should,” countered Elizabeth, defensively.

Radek had joined them, slipping behind Sheppard so he was between the colonel and the door to the cell. He spoke calmly, “I do not think that will be necessary. This is only temporary.” Shifting nervously, Radek stared between the two of them, before settling on Sheppard. “Perhaps it would be better for Rodney if you left.”

John gave him a curious look while Elizabeth raised a brow. “Why?”

“He…uh…um…” Radek stuttered, casting glances in Sheppard’s direction, unsure what to say. He couldn’t very well explain the bond without exposing their relationship.

Elizabeth turned to Radek for an explanation. Flustered, he spoke quickly, “It is blood. When it wears off, so will this…behavior.” He turned to Sheppard. “You are making it worse being here. It was your blood he is reacting to.”

Frowning, John didn’t want to believe him but he knew it was true. As if to test it, he stepped towards Rodney’s end of the cage.

Rodney’s head snapped up and seeing John advance, panicked. He grabbed Carson through the bars, his fingers tightening in the material of his shirt as he pulled him closer. He panted frantically, “Sedate me. Restraints. Do whatever you have to, but don’t let me near him.”

Grabbing the bar with one hand, Carson leveraged himself to keep from slamming into the cage as Rodney tugged him closer. With his free hand, he tried untangling Rodney’s fingers from his shirt. Letting his accent thicken to a comforting tone, he drawled, “I’m not goin’ to sedate you. It did no good.”

Banging the back of his head against the bars, Rodney cried, “God, just shoot me then.”

Worried for Rodney, Carson glanced between him and the others, hoping for some sort of resolution. He was surprised to see Ronon rounding the corner, blaster raised at Rodney. Pressed against the bars, Carson realized Rodney was still holding his shirt collar. He paled and waved Ronon off. “He’s not hurting me.” Eying Rodney, his voice wavered, “Rodney, let go of me before Ronon shoots you.”

Rodney seemed alarmed at first and then his eyes flared bright for a long second. Carson panicked, grabbing for Rodney’s fingers as he pleaded, “Don’t you dare.” His head turned sharply to Ronon, who was advancing gun first. He gave a frightened shout, “Don’t shoot!”

Carson’s eyes darted between the hand that was pinning him and Ronon’s determined face. Rodney was tugging his shirt, growling, daring Ronon to shoot him and Carson cringed, eyes clenched tight as he moaned, “Aw, bloody crap.”

Voices came from all directions.

“Rodney, let him go or Ronon will shoot you,” said Teyla, calmly.

“Damn it, McKay. Let him go,” ordered Sheppard, sounding much closer than before.

“Shoot me!” Rodney shouted, frantically, his panting loud in Carson’s ear.

“No one is going to shoot you,” Elizabeth insisted.

Carson dared to open his eyes. Ronon was practically standing on top of him, his blaster inches from Rodney’s back. His look was dark, foreboding but his gun hand didn’t waver. Teyla was behind him somewhere. Carson couldn’t move enough to make sure. Even shifting his eyes didn’t help. Beside him, crouched close was Sheppard, his hand reaching out to Rodney, whose eyes were closed tightly. His breathing was coming fast and shallow, Rodney begged, “Get away, get away, get away.”

The hand on Carson’s collar was threatening to cut off his airway. Gasping open mouthed, Carson tried prying Rodney’s hand away, but the lack of air was making him lethargic. As John was about to make contact, Rodney lost it. He scrambled sideways, forgetting the hand still on Carson’s shirt. Carson’s red face was slammed into the bars. Moaning in pain, Carson’s eyes rolled back in his head and he went limp.

“Colonel, you need to leave,” shouted Radek irately as he and Teyla made a grab for Carson.

As Ronon zeroed in on McKay, Sheppard reacted, jumping in front of him to block the shot. Pale, he raised his hands defensively even as he glanced over his shoulder at Rodney. One look at him was all it took. Drenched in his own sweat, Rodney’s eyes were wide and dark as he met Sheppard’s gaze. The pure lust on his face was unsettling and John stepped back, his own heart racing. He backed away reluctantly, his voice harsh, unable to hid his frustration, “Alright, alright. I’m leaving.”

He stood to leave then turned to Elizabeth. Waving his hand at McKay he ground out, “And get him out of there.”

Elizabeth wearily closed her eyes and nodded. Watching John turn and storm away, she motioned for Ronon to follow. It was unnecessary. The big man was already out the door.

With a heavy sigh, she keyed her radio, “I need security and a medical team to the confinement area.”

Surveying the damage, she shook her head, stunned by how quickly things had gotten out of control. It was times like this when her training seemed wholly inadequate. No amount of diplomacy seemed to work when her own people were involved. Sometimes she felt more like a playground monitor than a leader. Today was no exception.

Carson was coming around with a moan. Joining Radek and Teyla, she asked worriedly, “How is he?”

Leaning heavily into Radek, Carson rubbed his throat and croaked, “I’ll be fine.” His face was red and slightly swollen where he’d come in contact with the bars. He’d have bruises tomorrow.

“Will someone please tell me what went on here?” sighed Elizabeth.

Teyla was on her feet, pointing to the cell. He tone held a hint of alarm. “I think perhaps we should help Rodney.”

Rodney was on his side, shivering from damp clothes that clung to his frame, but he was no longer agitated. Instead he appeared to have reached his endurance level and was curled up on the floor, staring blankly at nothing.

Shaking off his own hurt, Carson clambered to his feet with Radek’s help. Leaning heavily into him, he stumbled to the door that Teyla hurriedly opened. Elizabeth followed but stayed outside the cell, fearful of getting too close. Until security arrived, someone had to keep a level head. Teyla too kept her distance, allowing Radek and Carson to look after Rodney. Radek grabbed Ronon’s coat that had been cast aside earlier and draped it over his trembling form.

Reaching out, Carson clasped Rodney’s wrist and took his pulse. It was fast but steady, understandable considering the events of earlier. Carson was rather impressed with Rodney’s willpower with John present. Glancing at Radek, he saw the same thing in his eyes. Radek patted his Rodney’s shoulder fondly and whispered, “If you ever threaten Carson again, my friend, I will not be so forgiving.”

“S’rry,” said Rodney, buried under Ronon’s coat.

Elizabeth watched in amazement. Rodney was completely calm now with Sheppard gone, making her decision to release him to the infirmary easier. There was still the issue of him being a vampire, but she was forced to admit that he no longer seemed as edgy.

The medical team arrived to transport Rodney and at Radek’s insistence, look after Carson. Rodney meekly allowed their help, refusing to open his eyes or his mouth in their presence. As they prepared to transport him, Elizabeth spoke to Radek, “I think we need to talk. I could use a more thorough explanation and you seem to be the expert at the moment.”

Radek nodded shyly, “I will tell you what I can.” His eyes followed the retreating personnel. “I would like to join them in settling Rodney.”

Elizabeth nodded, “Of course. I would like a report as soon as he’s able.” She sighed, exasperated, “Maybe I can begin to make some sense of all this.” As he started to leave, she called after him, “Radek, thank you.”

He blushed and nodded, leaving Elizabeth and Teyla the only ones still in the room. Concerned, she asked the Athosian, “How are you doing, Teyla? You don’t seem comfortable with this new development.”

As they walked after the others, Teyla answered carefully, “I admit that I was uncomfortable at first and I am still wary of…vampires, but I sense no danger from Rodney.”

“I suppose the Wraith are the closest analogy in your world,” said Elizabeth. “And to be fair, vampires are not thought much better of on my own world.”

“I did not think they were real. That is what Colonel Sheppard told us after we watched Dracula.”

“Yes, well, I didn’t think they were real until Rodney came along. Apparently, Radek says they aren’t as uncommon as we were led to believe. In his home country, there are many stories. The fact that he isn’t alarmed by Rodney being a vampire is reassuring.” She chuckled lightly, “Dr. Zelenka can be very nervous at times.”

Teyla smiled, “Yes, I have noticed.” She hesitated, “Do you think others will be as understanding?”

Elizabeth thought about it and as much as she wanted a perfect world she knew better, “It would be like your people suddenly accepting a Wraith as harmless.”

“Hmm. So you won’t tell them the truth,” said Teyla.

“Not if I can help it.”

Chapter Eleven

Rodney opened his eyes to semi-darkness, awareness coming slowly. Rolling to his side to investigate, the jarring pain in his leg brought him fully awake and he wished more than anything to be back in blissful slumber. The pain had him grimacing as he tried to sit up and he swore out loud, “Fuck, ow, ow.”

“You’re awake.”

Turning towards the voice, Rodney growled at obvious, “Yes, I’m awake. Pain has a way of doing that.” He automatically reached for his radio and slumped dejectedly to find it missing. Glaring at Radek, he ground out from the pain, “Carson?”

“Is sleeping.” answered Radek, not bothering to look up from his datapad.

Rodney rolled his eyes and said gruffly, “Well, call him. I need drugs. And I want the good stuff, not the Tylenol he pawns off on the Marines.”

Relenting, Radek set aside his work and reached for his earpiece. “Carson.”

Several seconds later, a groggy Carson responded, “What is it, Radek?”

“The grumpy one is awake.

Carson sighed, “I’ll be right there then.”

Rodney shifted on the bed, grabbing his leg with a hiss of pain. Radek rolled his eyes, reaching for his friend to keep him from moving. “Lie still. The healing has started.”

Ignoring him, Rodney shrugged off Radek’s help and eased his good leg off the bed. As he moved his bad leg, he paled, sweat beading on his brow as he hunched over the pain, hands clenched into fists. Radek hurried around the bed, shaking his head. “You are stubborn fool.”

Rodney’s head shot up, pain etched in his face. “I have to pee and I’d rather not do it in my bed.”

Sighing, Radek stooped low and wrapped his arm around Rodney’s waist, “Let me help.”

Grunting, Rodney allowed Radek to help. Just standing up was a chore. By the time he made it to the bathroom he was sweating profusely and biting his lip to keep from screaming. He was shaking so badly by the time he finished he hoped he didn’t pass out before Carson arrived with the good drugs. That would be a waste.

Radek hovered nervously, but didn’t argue, just handed him a glass of water.

After a drink and several deep breaths, Rodney found if he didn’t actually move the pain was tolerable. One hand was squeezing the material of his boxers, just above the site of the injury. It wasn’t really helping, but it gave him something to hang onto while they waited.

Radek blurted out loud, “So, you are vampire?”

Rodney looked up in disbelief and finally shook his head. “Well, that was subtle. If that is your attempt at small talk you might consider a different approach.”

Looking around the small bathroom they were presently sitting in, Radek scoffed, “Oh, and you are expert in social graces.”

Shooting him a scathing look, Rodney dropped his head, his fingers tightening as he hissed, “Can we not do this right now…or ever?”

“I think you should return to bed,” said Radek, his voice softer, concerned.

A shadow drifted into the small space followed by Carson’s booming voice. “What are you doin’ out of…” He stopped mid-sentence, losing all the gruffness as he worriedly asked, “Are you in pain?”

“No, Carson. This is my happy face,” said Rodney. Looking up at Carson, he frowned at the vivid bruising on the doctor’s face. Something niggled the edge of his consciousness that he was somehow responsible. Too many things were still blurry. He dropped his head.

Ignoring the sarcasm, knowing it was the pain talking, Carson stepped closer. “Let’s get you to bed then. I need to check your leg again.” Nodding to Radek, they flanked Rodney and carefully eased him to his feet.

Head swimming as he stood, Rodney’s fingers gripped their shoulders tightly as they inched their way to his bed. He hurt too much to offer much more than begrudging silence as they half dragged him. His leg felt like fire and every step shot daggers into his thigh. Only with Radek and Carson’s help did he make it, panting shallowly through the pain. As Carson eased him back on the bed, Rodney didn’t fuss when Radek raised his legs and helped him slide back.

“I’m goin’ to put an IV in then we’ll give you something for the pain,” drawled Carson, taking Rodney’s arm and working efficiently. “I’m sorry for not givin’ you something sooner. I wanted to wait until you’d returned to normal. You weren’t in a whole lot of pain earlier. I’d hoped that would stay the case.” The IV in place, Carson administered a pain killer.

Clenching the bedsheets, Rodney was uncharacteristically quiet as the drugs did their work. It was only a short time before he began to relax, the painkillers taking the worst of his discomfort away. He let go a long breath as Carson asked, “Better?”

Rodney nodded weakly, still trying to catch his breath. “You could have thought of giving me that before you dragged my ass from the bathroom.”

“And what fun would that have been?” teased Carson, patting Rodney’s shoulder. “Let’s have a look at your leg then.”

“Let’s not,” moaned Rodney, tensing automatically when Carson touched his thigh to remove the bandage. Rodney really didn’t want to see what was under the bandage. He remembered getting shot and a vague recollection of events after but the details were sketchy.

As the pain faded, his mind cleared and with a little effort he lifted up on his elbows. “How bad is it?”

“It went through and through and is healing quite nicely. You were lucky,” answered Carson, deftly cleaning the wound despite Rodney’s squirming.

Rodney flopped back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling and mumbling sarcastically, “Oh sure, my lucky day.”

Radek leaned over Rodney and said nonchalantly, “You could be dead.”

Carson flashed a glare in Radek’s direction as he cleaned Rodney’s thigh. “You’re lucky that you heal faster or you might have bled to death. It certainly explains all the bitching and moaning you do over a paper cut. It hadn’t occurred to me it was pain from accelerated healing.”

Rodney stared up at Carson, his brow furrowed. “What are you going on about?”

Radek looked the most surprised, frowning as he and Carson traded looks. “Do you think he suffered memory loss?”

Carson shook his head.

“He is right here,” snapped Rodney. He raised his chin indignantly, “Okay, things are a bit fuzzy after the shooting, but I remember enough.”

Radek asked slowly, tentatively, “You do know you are vampire?”

Rolling his eyes, Rodney smirked, “Of course I do.”

“And yet you do not know you heal faster than others?” asked Radek.

“No, I did not know that. I don’t make a habit of getting shot,” said Rodney, his words emphasizing his irritation.

“What about when Genii stabbed you?” Carson asked.

“Oh, forgive me. I haven’t had a lot of experience with knife wounds either.”

“You did not get hurt as a child?” questioned Radek. Carson listened absently as he went over Rodney’s vital.

There was a topic Rodney could live without. His childhood wasn’t something he was comfortable discussing… with any one. There weren’t a lot of people that could relate to ‘my mom is a vampire.’ Everything Rodney associated with being a vampire was mired in heartache and misery. Present situation included.

Forgetting himself for a moment, he sighed. “I wasn’t allowed…” Catching himself before he revealed more than he cared to, he huffed to hide the awkwardness, “Is there a point to this?”

Radek nodded, “How could you not know you heal faster? Every vampire knows this.”

Rodney scowled, “Oh please, and you’re what, a self-proclaimed expert?”

Snorting, Radek proclaimed, “I am vampire that obviously knows more than you.”

Surprised for a brief second, Rodney’s eyes darted to Carson, recalling an earlier snippet of conversation. He’d forgotten that Radek was a vampire. Okay, so maybe he was an expert. Although, it wouldn’t take much to know more than Rodney did. He did his best to recover, glancing towards Carson. “I suppose you’re one too.”

Carson shook his head and answered with a cheeky smile. “No, but we are bonded.”

Rodney looked at both of them. He wondered how that had happened in such a small community but didn’t voice his curiosity. He really just wanted them to go away. “I’m so happy for you.” He didn’t bother keeping the sarcasm out of his voice. It was grossly unfair that Radek and Carson were bonded. Even more unfair that he didn’t know about it.

Carson ignored him and redirected the conversation back to the original question. “So you didn’t know you healed faster?”

“No,” claimed Rodney, dismissing further discussion with a glare to hide his discomfort. “Can we drop it?”

“Testy. I was only asking,” said Carson, taping off the clean white bandage. “There. All done.” He arranged the blankets to cover Rodney.

Shifting on the bed, Rodney made himself comfortable. The drugs, having taken away the worst of the pain, allowed him to move without gasping.

After several moments, he realized that Carson and Radek had no intention of leaving. He lifted up enough to say so. “I don’t need a babysitter.” Waving towards the door, he added, “I’m sure I have guards to keep an eye on me.” The guilty looks on their faces confirmed it. He was more than a little miffed about being under guard. It did nothing to temper his present mood but he also knew that there was little he could do about it. He made his choice when he decided saving John was worth everything.

“Why aren’t you having tantrum?” asked Radek, clearly puzzled that Rodney wasn’t ranting about his present situation.

Carson nodded in agreement. “You’re a wee bit calmer than we expected. You haven’t asked what’s going to happen or even how the colonel is doing.”

Rodney scooted lower and closed his eyes, “I’m locked up. That pretty much says it all. And Sheppard is fine. He’s sleeping.” He had hoped that John would be there when he woke, but he wasn’t too surprised to find him absent. Besides healing from his own injuries, Sheppard probably didn’t want anything to do with him after his less than stellar performance in the brig. Rodney had come too close to exposing this thing between them. There was no other way to describe it, since he had no clue what was going on in Sheppard’s mind. The ‘thing’ between them was more than likely not a thing anymore.

Opening his eyes, he glared at them both, hoping to mask the hurt. “You can go now.”

“We’re only tryin’ to help, Rodney. We know you’re bonded to him,” said Carson, sympathetically. “We also know it’s not easy here.”

Rodney paled, “Um…we uh…” He stiffened defensively, “It was only the one time so it’s really immaterial.”

Brows furrowed, Carson was appalled, “That’s like saying you only did it that one time-- after you’re pregnant. You’re bonded to the man, Rodney.”

“Oh and that worked so well for me,” sneered Rodney, unable to hide the pain it caused to admit that. He added stubbornly, “You know what? I really don’t want to talk about it, as in I’d rather have spikes embedded under my nails.”

Which was the truth. He’d spent a great deal of time and effort throughout his life denying his vampire side. The few times he’d thought it was safe to reveal himself had bit him in the ass. This time was no exception and he had every intention of burying it again. Hopefully if he could get John to forget about it, he might still have a chance at salvaging a ‘normal’ relationship between them. At the very least, he might save their friendship.

“Talking might help,” suggested Radek, innocently.

Rodney could feel his face heat up. “Oh right, because talking about it will make me feel so much better that the one person I chose to bond with doesn’t want it. Let’s. Share. My. Pain.” His last words were punctuated with bitterness.

Carson asked in disbelief, “How could he not want the bond?”

Burrowing further under the blankets, Rodney refused to answer. Carson and Radek traded concerned looks. It was Radek who finally broke the silence. “Have you ever bonded with anyone before, Rodney?”

There was more silence before Rodney finally answered quietly, “No.”

“Never?” asked Radek, incredulous.

“No, never. You’ll forgive me if I haven’t embraced my inner vampire. All it’s ever done is cause me grief.”

Carson sighed sympathetically “It cannot have been that bad. Surely there was some good. You are bonded to the colonel.”

“I’m bonded to someone that is scared shitless by the whole thing.”

Radek frowned, his eyes narrowing. “Did you not tell him about bonding?”

“Yes,” said Rodney defensively. He added less certainly, “At least what I knew. There isn’t exactly a manual on it.” Noting Radek’s stunned expression, he asked, suddenly unsure, “There isn’t a manual, right?”

Chuckling, Radek shook his head. “No, no manual.” He asked more seriously, “How is it you know so little? Did your parents not teach you anything?”

Rodney snorted, “Oh please, my parents could have kept a therapist busy for years. They couldn’t be burdened with a half-blood.”

He didn’t say his sister had been the lucky one. She’d turned out normal. As soon as his father realized his newborn daughter didn’t carry the tainted gene, he whisked both children away from their mother. Seems dear old Dad could no longer justify his wife’s lifestyle with raising two small children. Six-year-old Rodney was told to forget it all and they could pretend that the years of compromise for his mother’s idiosyncrasies were all a dream. No doubt his father was relieved that he would never have to plan another family outing that revolved around sunset and sunrise. All he had to contend with at that point was a normal daughter and a half breed son. It was a lot easier than admitting he’d married a vampire. They never spoke of her again.

His father could pretend his son wouldn’t play outside like all the other boys instead of explaining he couldn’t. He could ignore the hungry looks from his son when nothing he ate satisfied the cravings. His father could ignore a lot of things, first and foremost being the fact that his son was a vampire. After a few years away from their mother, Rodney was pretty sure his father was so far in denial that he’d forgotten his son was even a half-blood.

What little Rodney learned about himself he gleamed from books and delving into the dark side for a short time in high school. Most of that crowd was rebellious teens that only saw it as a way to irritate their parents. For the most part they didn’t have clue. He’d experimented with feeding a few times but his fear of getting caught overrode the satisfaction he derived from it. The guilt added to his paranoia and he learned to hide that side of himself. He buried himself in his studies, went to college and never looked back.

His half-blood status afforded him a semi-normal life and his job postings at Area 51, the SGC and Siberia weren’t the hardship that most people associated with months underground or endless nights. It wasn’t all that hard to forget he was a vampire until Atlantis…until John.

Staring at Carson and Radek, Rodney lifted his chin. “So I missed Vampires 101. I’ve managed on my own up ‘til now, I don’t need your pitiful looks or your sympathy.” He closed his eyes and flopped back on the bed, shifting to his side with a wince. He yanked the covers up and grunted, “Go away and let me sleep.”

Carson met Radek’s eyes as adjusted the IV. Radek shrugged. “Elizabeth wishes to speak with you.”

“Why?” grumbled Rodney from beneath the covers.

“Oh, I don’t know, Rodney. Maybe she’s trying to help you. You might try being a wee bit more pleasant,” grumbled Carson.

He glared out from under the sheet. “I’ve been locked in a cage, put in restraints and treated like a common criminal.” Nodding towards the door, he added with a snort of disapproval, “And let’s not forget the guards.” He shook his head and pulled the covers up higher. “You’ll forgive me if I’m less than understanding here.”

Carson glanced at Radek for some support, but only receiving a shrug he sighed in resignation, “I’ll let Elizabeth know that you’re up for visitors in the morning.”

Rodney snorted his disapproval, “I’ll just wait here.”

Chapter Twelve

Restless, John got up and with no better plan he ran. His pace was slower than he would have liked but he still wasn’t feeling up to par. Carson would kill him if he knew he wasn’t resting, but sometimes he just needed to run to shake shit loose in his head. It was enough to clear his mind but as soon as he stopped it all came rushing back and he found himself wandering aimlessly through the halls of Atlantis. Okay, maybe not so aimless; Radek bumped into him outside Rodney’s lab.

Giving John a startled look after nearly running into him, Radek stepped back. “Can I help you, Colonel?”

John rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged, feeling awkward for having been caught. “I was just…ah…out for a walk.”

Brows furrowed with concern, Radek asked, “Shouldn’t you be resting?”

“I’m about rested out,” John sighed, waving for Radek to tag along as he began walking. They walked in silence for several minutes before he spoke again. “I just wanted to say thanks for helping out earlier. Talking to Elizabeth and all.”

Radek had spent a considerable amount of time trying to convince her that Rodney was not a threat, but she remained wary. John was surprised at how much Radek actually knew about vampires, all of it accurate as far as he knew.

Looking cautiously over his shoulder as they walked, the scientist whispered to him, “I am sorry I could not do more. At least he is not in cage.”

“You did what you could,” countered John, guiltily. He’d done even less, letting Rodney take the blame for everything that had happened. His own fears kept him from telling the truth. Well, that and his career. While some might be okay with his relationship with Rodney, others, not so much. Especially the U.S. military. Telling somehow negated the whole ‘Don’t ask’ part.

Radek ducked his head, shaking it. “I could not explain without making things difficult for you and Rodney. I am sorry.”

John almost stumbled and stuttered in surprise, fear rising that his secret was out, “Um…so…uh, you know about…”

“The bonding?” Radek nodded. “Yes, and the bloodlust. Rodney said as much.”

Thrown off guard by the scientist’s answer, John muttered absently, “Ahhh.” He wasn’t expecting quite that response. He thought Radek had somehow discovered he and Rodney were in a relationship, not the other. That Rodney had told Radek about the bonding and bloodlust, left him speechless.

Radek smiled innocently, his own face flush as he admitted, “I am vampire, Colonel.”

John actually stumbled this time. Of all the things he was expecting, that wouldn’t have been it. The day was just full of surprises. It certainly explained how Radek knew so much about vampires. It also explained why Rodney had discussed their bonding with Radek or that he had guessed. Most likely the later, remembering Radek’s harsh words to him while Rodney was still caged up. Recovering quickly, John cast a surreptitious look at Radek as he walked beside him.

He watched the other man’s shoulders slump dejectedly, his eyes downcast. Radek muttered, “I should have told Elizabeth that I am vampire. It might have helped Rodney if she knew the truth.”

Grabbing his arm, John stopped and made him look up. “No. Then you’d be locked up and absolutely useless to Rodney.” Letting go, John ducked his head, irritated with himself. “If anyone should have said something, it should have been me.”

Alarmed, Radek shook his head. “No, no, that would not do. We need you here, Colonel. It is not worth risk.”

“We need Rodney here!” exclaimed John.

“Ano, ano, yes, but if you were dismissed, Rodney would go as well,” Radek said quickly, pushing up his glasses as he stared at Sheppard.

Doubtful, John shook his head. “No, he’d never leave Atlantis.”

Radek gave him a saddened look and snorted, “He would leave for you, Colonel.”

That hit John hard and he stared at Radek in shock. He still had so many questions. He hesitated, asking warily, “So…you ever, um, done the bonding thing?”

Nodding, Radek wouldn’t look at him but answered sheepishly, “I am bonded to someone here.”

John responded reflexively, “Carson.” It wasn’t a question.

Radek looked stunned as he reddened. Turning his head sharply, he looked all around then asked in a hushed voice, “How did you know?”

Shrugging, John answered, “My subconscious threw that out there. Lucky guess.” They continued walking. “How long?”

“Humph. Is difficult to answer.”

John frowned. “How can you not know that?” He was pretty certain he would always remember when he and Rodney bonded. He still didn’t understand what ‘bonding’ really meant, but he wasn’t likely to forget it anytime soon.

“I fed on Carson before we bonded. That came later,” Radek explained.

Feeling foolish for asking, John hesitated, “Um, is Carson a vampire?”

Amused, Radek shook his head. He teased, “No. He is mere human.”

John smiled, still full of questions he couldn’t refrain from asking. “So you just asked him if you could feed off him. How does that work? Rodney said he didn’t have to feed.”

Radek answered with a note of sadness, “Rodney is halfblood. Most halfbloods do not generally embrace vampire lifestyle. Most are shunned from a very early age and do not know the ways.”

“But you’re a halfblood,” questioned Sheppard, curious. “Right?”

“I would not be here if I was not.” Nodding, Radek smiled, “I was fortunate to have family. Others are not so lucky. Halfbloods are outcast from the vampire society. If there is no family support then it can be difficult.”

“So, you’re saying Rodney doesn’t feed because he wasn’t brought up that way? So how come the bonding hit him so hard.” John remembered him saying he’d only fed a few times prior to the bonding. He realized how little he knew about Rodney and the whole vampire thing.

“Halfbloods are all different, Colonel. Some can live normal life without ever dealing with problems vampires face. The urges may still be there but they don’t know how to do anything about it or they don’t want to admit that side of themselves.”

John answered solemnly, “Rodney didn’t want to feed off me. He was starving and I still had to force my blood on him.”

Radek looked puzzled, “But you bonded, no?”

“Yeah, but only because he didn’t have a choice. I don’t think he would have fed if we hadn’t been on that planet.”

“A bonding happens only with…” Radek paused, uncertain, “Lovers. I assume that is the case here.”

John blushed red, wincing. “Not so loud.” He looked over his shoulder carefully, thankful they were alone in the hallway.

Radek looked abashed and dropped his voice. “I am sorry, Colonel. It wouldn’t have mattered where you were. A bonding between lovers is not something that can be avoided. Eventually the pull becomes too strong to ignore.”

And yet Rodney said he’d never bonded with anyone before. And wow, wasn’t that a revelation all in itself, that Rodney had never loved anyone enough to bond before.

There were so many questions John wanted to ask, but he was still a little embarrassed by his own reaction to the whole bonding thing. It was one thing to admit he’d bonded to the snarky scientist, it was quite another to admit he enjoyed letting Rodney take over. His ego wasn’t ready for anyone to find out he was willing to submit to Rodney. And wasn’t that just the kicker. He was willing. Way too fucking willing.

With a quick goodbye, he left Radek before he said something he’d regret. Standing in the hall after his getaway, he debated visiting Rodney, but he was clueless there. What the hell was he going to say? He didn’t really understand the whole turnaround in what he thought was a pretty set preference; he’d topped his whole life. Okay, admittedly he hadn’t tried anything else before but it was still a little unnerving to discover that he’d sell his soul to have Rodney fill his ass again. To say it was a little overwhelming was an understatement.

If that wasn’t bad enough, he wanted to go back to that place where he didn’t have to worry about a damn thing but the pleasure washing over him as Rodney took control. Everything revolved around that headspace. It was the main reason he’d backed off on the planet. It scared him to think how easy it would be to just let go and have Rodney take control again. As much as he wanted it, he wasn’t ready for it and staying clear of Rodney for the time being allowed him to avoid the temptation of giving in. There was no doubt in John’s mind that if Rodney asked to feed, he would bare his neck with embarrassing haste just to feel that close to someone again. Hell, no one had managed to affect him as Rodney had. Even when he was married he’d hadn’t felt the closeness he felt with Rodney, even without the so called bond.

There was something he didn’t really want to dwell on too much. He had no idea what the bond was all about. It wasn’t like he felt all that different, at least not at the moment. He’d maybe felt a stronger pull when Rodney was in the cage ‘under the influence’ of his blood, but he could easily convince himself that it was because he was worried about him and not some inexplicable need that drew him closer. That need to touch had tugged at him, making him reach out even when he knew it would give them away. God, and it was Rodney who’d found the strength to act, to pull away.

Stopping from his aimless wandering, John leaned into the wall, letting Atlantis’ cool walls take some of the heat from his face. Oh, who the fuck was he kidding. He wanted Rodney, needed him and he was standing in the middle of the hallway agonizing over his inaction when he should be at Rodney’s side offering, at the very least, his support. He so sucked at this relationship stuff. Pushing off the wall with a grunt of frustration and indecision, he turned back the way he’d come, no closer to a solution than he had been.

*************

Elizabeth entered Rodney’s private room but kept a safe distance. Rodney wasn’t stupid and even if he were, he could smell the fear on her. Rolling over, ignoring the barely discernable flinch as she resisted the urge to take a step back, he snapped, “I won’t bite.”

He watched as she tried to recover, tentatively approaching the bed. “Of course not. I…um…I’m just not that good at the whole bedside thing.”

“So I’ve heard,” Rodney said, unconvinced.

He watched as Elizabeth tried to relax. The fear was still there, but she closed the distance, albeit reluctantly. Positioning herself at the foot of the bed, it was close enough to look normal but she wasn’t fooling anyone. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine.” He had to bite back a sarcastic answer, feeling none too charitable towards her or her pleasantries at the moment. He was still feeling hurt by everyone’s actions toward him. Radek and Carson had at least made some effort to talk to him. His teammates, John included had yet to come by. Elizabeth looked very much like she’d drawn the short straw and wanted to be anywhere but where she was.

Shifting on her feet, Elizabeth crossed her arms. Her face couldn’t hide the disappointment, the betrayal. “You could have told me.”

Rodney sighed, “Oh right, because everyone has been so understanding. Full disclosure hasn’t exactly been working to my advantage lately.”

Elizabeth looked sufficiently scolded and dropped her gaze. “I’m sorry for the way we’ve had to handle this, Rodney, but the safety of this mission takes priority, even if it is you.”

**

She hated the position she had to take and this conversation wasn’t any easier than the earlier meeting with those directly involved in the whole fiasco had been.

The meeting was subdued, mostly Radek fielding questions from Lorne, Ronon, and Teyla about vampires and the cause of Rodney’s episode. Carson confirmed that he was no longer a threat and it was most likely a single incident brought about by the ‘overdose’ of blood. Elizabeth was wary.

“What reassurances do we have that he won’t feed at some point in the future? Right now, the only people that know about this are right here. I can’t guarantee that if it were to happen again.”

Lorne was present due to John’s off duty status. He was under the same gag order as everyone else regarding the true nature of Rodney’s condition, so that was one less thing they had to worry about. Carson had wisely cleared out the infirmary when Rodney and John were first brought in and only those present in the jumper knew about his altered state.

“McKay doesn’t do the blood thing. The only reason he did what he did was because I would have bled to death.” John looked at Elizabeth, his eyes boring into her, willing her to understand. “He saved my life. I wasn’t in any danger.”

“You can’t know that for sure, John.” None of them could be sure of what Rodney would do. She certainly hadn’t expected him go ballistic after his return from the planet. Try as she might, she couldn’t shake the images or stop the involuntary shivers when she thought about it. Moving her hands, she wiped her sweaty palms on her pants, keeping them under the table until the shaking went away.

“I know…”Sheppard had his jaw clenched tight. Elizabeth was certain his hands were in tight fists under the table as he spoke, “Because I had to force him to feed on me on the planet and it wasn’t anything like this.”

Both Teyla and Ronon raised a brow. Lorne looked as stunned as she felt. John explained quietly, averting his eyes from their curious looks. “He was starving to death. What they fed us just wasn’t enough for him. We worked out a deal for more food but it was expensive and he just kept getting worse. I knew if he fed, he’d be alright. He wouldn’t do it. He was gonna let himself die rather than feed.”

Those at the table were quiet until Teyla spoke, “You knew he was a vampire.” It wasn’t really a question just a statement of fact.

Elizabeth watched as Teyla and John shared a brief look. She knew that John’s admission had just removed any lingering doubts regarding Rodney from the Athosian’s mind. If John could remain loyal to Rodney despite him being a vampire than Teyla was willing to transfer that same loyalty to her teammate.

Truth be told, Elizabeth was afraid of Rodney. His violent display in the infirmary and later in the brig had left her doubting her ability to read people. She never would have guessed and more than anything she was angry and upset that Rodney hadn’t trusted her enough to say anything about being a vampire.

Her reverie was broken as John explained, “When we were trapped in the cave during the culling, Rodney healed my arm. He begged me not to say anything.”

“So you’ve known for some time that Rodney was a vampire,” asked Elizabeth, knowing she wasn’t hiding her disappointment or anger at being left out of the loop. This was something she should have been aware of. That they didn’t trust her hurt.

Face scrunching, John nodded guiltily. The look she flashed him had John straightening from his slouch. He immediately became defensive, either about his actions or Rodney, she wasn’t sure, “He was afraid of being locked up.” Staring back at her, he resisted a sneer, “Can’t really blame him for that.”

Visibly deflating, her voice belied the anger still seething inside, “The question still remains. What are we going to do with him?”

John bristled visibly. “Do with him? He hasn’t hurt anyone and if he hadn’t saved me, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“Be that as it may, I am still responsible for the safety of this expedition.” She gave him a pointed look. “Until such time Rodney is deemed safe, he will have to be confined.”

Carson chimed in, “We have him isolated in the infirmary. He’s shown no sign of aggression since we removed him from the cage so I think it’s safe to say the effects have worn off.”

It was Teyla who was once again the voice of reason. “Perhaps we should include Doctor McKay in any further discussions. It is his life we are speaking of. Would it not be unfair to decide anything without giving him a chance to speak?”

Quiet to this point, Ronon spoke in his defense, “Seems only fair.”

Noting Carson and Radek’s nods as well, she had to concede. It wasn’t surprising to see Sheppard’s team rally around him. The trust they placed in each other was what made them the best team on Atlantis. What was surprising was to see Carson and Radek negating the seriousness of the situation. They were usually the ones that voiced the most concern over safety issues. It left her and Major Lorne as the only real holdouts for keeping a cautionary eye on Dr. McKay. Lorne was Sheppard’s man and any hope that he would speak out against his commanding officer was dwindling. She felt the lone dissenter at times like this.

Unclasping her hands, she laid them flat on the table. “Alright then. I’d like to resolve this as soon as possible.” She looked at Doctor Beckett. “Let me know when he’s up to talking.”

Standing up wearily, she dismissed them and decided it was time to get some much needed sleep. The strain of the day had left her exhausted. She considered asking John to stay, but he’d made his position very clear and any further discussion would only end in a heated stalemate. That he’d left the infirmary before Carson released him wasn’t doing him any favors and he still looked a little pale from his ordeal. She couldn’t, in good conscience, keep him any longer. Carson had given her a small nod of approval as he departed, taking John in a firm grip on his way out.

She was left with figuring out what she would say to Rodney when the time came.

Standing at his bedside, she was no closer to finding the answer. She knew that Rodney was probably correct in his self assessment. Looking down at him now, he looked perfectly harmless, maybe even vulnerable if she were being honest. He bore no resemblance to the crazed individual that had torn apart the infirmary. And yet she couldn’t disregard the fact that it had happened.

Elizabeth tried to hide the hurt that still lingered and got right to the point. With a deep breath she started, “I need to know what happened.”

Rodney didn’t give an inch. “You read my report.”

“Yes, I did, but I was hoping you might elaborate.”

Pulling himself higher on the bed, Rodney crossed his arms defensively, raised his chin and snorted, “I’m a vampire, Elizabeth. How’s that for elaboration?”

“You could have told me.”

“Oh right, because I could predict that Sheppard was going to bleed out and I’d be forced to expose myself.” He stared hard at her as he continued, “You were never supposed to know. No one was ever supposed to know.”

“What did you think would happen?”

Rodney eyes rolled towards the ceiling and said tightly, “Oh, I don’t know. You’d lock me up and treat me like some lab rat. Oh wait, you did lock me up.”

Elizabeth countered defensively, “That’s not fair, Rodney. I might have handled it differently if you’d told me sooner.”

Shaking his head, Rodney snapped, “And how would that conversation have gone? Oh, guess what, Elizabeth? I’m a vampire, but don’t worry, I’m perfectly harmless. You’re upset I didn’t tell you and why should I?”

Planting her hands on the bedrail, Elizabeth leaned forward, her voice terse as she spoke, “You tore up the infirmary trying to get to Colonel Sheppard then you tried to strangle Carson. Don’t tell me that you aren’t a threat.”

“You’re afraid of me.” It wasn’t really a question and Rodney stared at her, daring her to deny it.

She couldn’t and dropped her gaze. “I’d be lying if I said I was comfortable with this whole situation. I don’t want this to escalate, Rodney, but I really need to know more if I’m going to make an informed decision about what to do with you.”

Rodney bristled. “Don’t I get a say in it?”

Elizabeth sighed in frustration. The scientist was difficult on his best days. “It’s why I am here, Rodney. I need your help understanding this. I need to know what happened. None of us, myself included, know what you’re going through or what being a vampire involves.”

For the first time since she’d entered, Rodney seemed unsure of himself. He was quiet for several long seconds before some of the tenseness eased and his shoulders dropped. When he glanced up, the hardness she’d witnessed earlier had vanished, leaving behind a lost, fearful look. “I’m a halfblood.” As she opened her mouth to ask, he forestalled her question with a raised hand. “It means that I’m probably more human than vampire. I don’t have all the normal urges.”

“Like what?” she asked, finding herself relaxing a bit at this softer version of Rodney.

“I don’t normally drink blood. I only did what I did to save Sheppard. He would have died before we ever left that planet if I hadn’t acted.”

It didn’t surprise her that Rodney had acted so selflessly. Despite his protestations to the contrary, Rodney was very loyal to his teammates and friends. He probably hadn’t thought twice about the consequences of his actions until after the fact. “We are all grateful for what you did but that doesn’t negate the possible threat you pose to this expedition. How do I know you won’t…” She hesitated, her diplomatic skills leaving her for a moment. Steeling herself, she looked him in the eye. “How can I be certain you won’t hurt someone next time?”

Rodney deflated, leaning back in the bed as he stared up at the ceiling. His words were whispered. “You can’t.”

Eyes widened as she blanched. Elizabeth hadn’t expected him to be so forward with his answer. Caught off guard, it took several seconds to recover enough to continue. “That’s not very reassuring.”

McKay’s head came up and he looked her in the eye. “If you think talking to me is going to prove enlightening you’re going to be very disappointed.” He seemed disgusted with himself as he added with a huff, “I know about as much as you do.”

Elizabeth frowned. “I only know what Radek has told me. Up until all this, I would have said it was all a myth.”

Rodney snorted, “No, not a myth.” Shifting on the bed and dragging himself higher, he took a deep breath. “I’m a halfblood. My mother was a vampire, my father wasn’t. My sister and I were raised by my father, so I know very little about the whole vampire culture.” He added air quotes to his last words. “I don’t normally drink blood. I don’t have to and to be honest the whole transferring of body fluids is kind of creepy. It’s a pathogenic nightmare.” He shuddered for effect.

“But you knew you could save Colonel Sheppard. Twice it seems.” Elizabeth couldn’t help but point out that she’d been kept in the dark. He prepared to counter her remark, but she cut him off. “And apparently you fed off of him while on Telosia.”

Rodney paled, retorting lamely, “He made me.”

It was so Rodney she almost smiled. She barely managed a neutral expression. “He claims it was to save your life.”

“It was his turn.” said Rodney, downplaying the seriousness of the whole affair. “It’s that hero complex he has going,”

“And you returned the favor?”

Rodney looked at her, incredulous. “Would you rather I’d let him die?

“No, of course not.” Elizabeth paled and couldn’t hide the shiver at thought of John being dead. “We were lucky this time. I don’t want there to be a next time.”

“And you think I do? I preferred when everyone was blissfully ignorant.” Rodney shifted on the bed and looked at her in the eye with a new determination. “I can’t guarantee there won’t be a next time any more than I could predict what would happen this time. I won’t stand by and let anyone on my team die when I can save them.”

“I wouldn’t want you to,” answered Elizabeth.

“What do want me to do, Elizabeth? Because I really don’t know what it is you want from me. You can’t have it both ways,” Rodney stated, confused and frustrated by the present situation.

Several moments passed as Elizabeth took in what Rodney was saying and it suddenly struck her then that she’d put him in an unfair position. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. She had spent the last day worrying more about the negative affects of Rodney being a vampire than the good he had done; namely, saving John from certain death. Feeling contrite, she shook her head, daring to look at him. “I’m sorry.”

“You should be…” Stopping mid-sentence, as what she said caught up with him, he frowned. “Why are you sorry?”

Shifting from the end of the bed to the side she spoke sincerely, “It seems I’ve let my own fears cloud my judgment. Perhaps if you could tell me about vampires we can get past the misconceptions and start over.”

Rodney took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I can only relate how it affects me, Elizabeth. I don’t drink blood for sustenance. I can get by eating regular food just fine. Not citrus, of course but most food is fine. Although, those purple fruits from 884 are pretty nasty and how anything that tastes that foul could be considered fruit is beyond me. I mean really, shouldn’t fruit be sweet and…”

Elizabeth, feeling tired, cut off his tirade. “Rodney!”

Crossing his arms indignantly, he scowled at her. “What?”

Sighing, she kept calm, only just barely. “You were telling me about being a vampire.”

“I was…until you interrupted me.”

Rolling her eyes, Elizabeth shook her head, fighting for patience. “Rodney, please.”

Rodney huffed, “Fine. Where was I?”

“You were telling me about food.”

***

Rodney spent the next hour telling her about himself. He talked some more about feeding but very carefully didn’t mention anything about bonding or his relationship with John. It wasn’t as if feeding during bonding was a food issue so he wasn’t completely dishonest by not bringing it up. He told her about his light intolerance, toning it down for fear if he said too much she’d remove him from the team.

Hedging his bet, he spent a little time relating some of his childhood to her. Nothing too personal but enough to let her know he wasn’t holding back information. He couldn’t tell her what he didn’t know and it helped her to realize that he wasn’t a typical vampire. It took some time, but he could sense the change in Elizabeth. For one thing the stench of fear was gone and in its place was a new calm. By the time he finished, he was fairly certain he’d swung her to his side.

“So do you think anything like this will happen again?” Elizabeth asked.

His elation faltered at her question and he hesitated before answering. “Considering where we are in the universe, I can’t say it won’t. Look, I don’t like doing it any more than you like seeing it, so I think it’s safe to say that it will only happen in the direst situation.”

He’d like to think that he’d never be put in the same position again, but he was a realist if nothing else. The Pegasus Galaxy exuded bad karma and his luck just wasn’t that good even on his best day.

Elizabeth appeared to consider his response. “I suppose that is the most I can ask of you.”

Brightening, Rodney pushed himself up higher on the bed. He hadn’t really expected such a rapid turnaround but then Elizabeth was generally fair when the facts were laid out for her. He blurted out, hopefully, “Does this mean that I’m free to go?”

Nodding slowly, Elizabeth answered with a smile, “Yes, but Carson must clear you first.”

Sitting up, Rodney took a deep breath and shouted, “Carson!”

Chapter Thirteen

Sauntering into the lab, John slid the tray of food he was carrying onto the desk then settled in to watch Rodney work. It was only the two of them and it took several long moments for Rodney to notice him, or possibly it was the smell of food.

Rodney finally gave him a double take. “How long have you been here?”

John shrugged nonchalantly. “Hour.”

“Really?” Rodney frowned.  He went back to typing after tossing John a disgusted sneer. “That stops being funny after a while.”

“Not really,” John chuckled, arching an eyebrow.  It was just too much fun to yank on Rodney’s chain and he fell for it every time. John couldn’t help himself. He’d missed it. Hell, he’d missed Rodney, missed just having him around night and day.  How sad was that they’d spent the last month in hell and he missed it?

They hadn’t really talked since Rodney’s release a couple days ago but John decided to bite the bullet. Dropping his hands to the desk, he gripped the edge. “Um…about…”

Rodney flinched, his head still turned away then began rambling. “I…uh…look, I didn't ah, not on purpose." He waved at John's neck, "...it really wasn’t ... I couldn’t very well let you bleed to death…” His fingers rubbed against his palm. “So much blood. Uhh...did  I....after....did I do something stupid?"

John shuddered thinking about how close he’d come. He knew that if Rodney hadn’t healed him he'd be dead. What’s left to say after that? “Nah, it's okay. Did I say thanks?”

Rodney rolled his chair back and looked up at him, incredulous and confused. “That’s it? Thanks? You don’t speak to me for days after I practically out you to the entire population and you… all you can come up with to say is 'Thanks'?  God, you suck at this even worse than I do and really, Colonel, I didn’t think that was possible.” 

"Rodney, I'm trying to thank you for saving my life.” He was angry, mad at Rodney for making this hard and at himself for being as bad as Rodney said he was. “I was entitled to a freak out. I’ve never had multiple orgasms before.” He shrugged. “And you didn’t out us. Well, Radek and Carson know and Teyla and Ronon probably suspect, but Elizabeth and Lorne wouldn’t see it unless it hit them in the face.”

Rodney snorted, the tension in his shoulders minutely less, “That’s because she has the hots for you and in Lorne’s perfect military mind his CO cannot be gay.”

John couldn’t help grinning. It was good to see Rodney interacting instead of moping. He knew it wouldn’t last but it was a start. After everything that had happened he still didn’t want to lose Rodney. He just wasn’t sure where they stood at the moment.  They still had to get past the whole bonding issue, whatever the hell that was.

John tried not to let his mind drift back to the bonding but it was impossible. He’d never been so turned on in his life and he would have done anything Rodney asked for one more orgasm. Which turned into ten or twenty and fuck, he wanted that again, but he was scared to death of giving up the control. 

 Snagging the bread off the tray he’d brought, John picked at it. “Did you know Radek’s a vampire?”

“Only recently.” Rodney smirked, “And how would I know that? It’s not like we have a secret handshake.” 

“That would be cool.”

Rodney rolled his eyes. “Only in your world. Did you want something or did you simply get bored playing with your Erector Set?” 

The silence stretched on, John stealing food from Rodney’s tray. “He’s bonded to Carson,” John added, dragging out the earlier conversation.

Rodney slapped John’s hand as he reached for a cookie. The scientist snatched it up and growled around a bite. “And you can stop bringing me food. I’m not going to suddenly attack you because I’m hungry.”

“That’s not why…” John tried to defend himself, convince himself, “I know you’ve been trying to catch up after being gone so long. You forget to eat.”

Turning back to his computer, Rodney took some of his anger out on his keyboard as he stabbed at the keys. “I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself just fine, Colonel.”

Taking a chance, John leaned forward enough to drop his hand onto Rodney’s shoulder. “Doesn’t mean you have to.”

Rodney stared at him, incredulous. “After I fed on you, you still want to hang around?  I know you’re still freaking about that.”

John considered denying it but this was Rodney. “Okay, yeah, maybe. We haven’t talked all that much. It’s only been a week.”

“You didn’t give me a chance. You went off in a tizzy,” huffed Rodney, crossing his arms. 

“A tizzy?” repeated John, indignantly.  Rodney was staring at him with those damn blue eyes and John broke. “I wasn’t expecting it to be that intense.”

“And you think I did?  I’m trying to do what you want, but you aren’t making it very easy. Other than the food that shows up while I’m working I haven’t seen you much.”

John didn’t need Rodney telling him that. He knew he was being difficult but he was discovering things about himself that weren’t settling too well and he didn’t have a clue how to deal with it. His temper flared and he ground out, “Well, this isn’t exactly easy, Rodney. I never expected to be a relationship with a vampire.”

Rodney shrugged away from John’s grasp and looked away. “Touché, Colonel.” 

“Don’t,” demanded John, grabbing his arm and pulling Rodney around to face him. “I’m trying. Give me a break here.”

Rodney sighed wearily, rubbing at the tension in his neck, “We’re bonded. I can’t take it back. I’m sorry.”

John interrupted him, frustrated. “That’s just it, Rodney. You say we’re bonded but I have no idea what that means.” Straightening up, he flung his arms out. “I don’t know what any of this means.”

“It would help if I knew what you wanted,” sighed Rodney, shifting in his chair to take some of the pressure off his sore leg.

John didn’t want to admit what he wanted and he was still having issues with telling Rodney the real reason for his apprehension. He stalled. “What do you want?”

“I want everything to go back to the way it was before you found out. You know the part where we hung out together, had fun. I got laid on a semi-regular basis and you weren’t scared to death of me.”

John’s eyes narrowed. “I’m not afraid of you.”

“Right,” Rodney pointed to his chest and snorted, “Bond, remember. I know you’re afraid. I’m just not sure why.”

Squirming where he leaned against the desk, John couldn’t look him in the eye. “Okay, so maybe I’m afraid but it’s not you.”

Rodney rolled his eyes, “Oh please, you sound like half the girls that have ever dumped me?” There was a brief flash of hurt in Rodney’s face before turning his attention to his computer.

John cringed at being called a girl. He couldn’t help the anger in his tone, “You know what? Forget it.”  He turned to leave but Rodney bolted from his chair, grabbing him and spinning him around. He managed not to flinch as the fingers on his bicep dug painfully into the muscle. 

“Oh right, walk away like you always do. Well get this, Colonel, I'd love to forget this ever happened, but I can't. Every time you come near me I’m reminded of it.” Rodney said angrily, his face tightening, growing red.

Grabbing the hand holding his arm in a death grip, John wrenched it free and pushed Rodney back, watching as he flailed on his injured leg. It was like a slow motion flick, Rodney ending up sprawled on the desk, his computer tottering on the edge as he tried to reach for the precious machinery.  John saw the brief flicker of pain and reacted without thinking, grabbing the computer before it could end up on the floor at the same time he reached out a steadying hand to Rodney, who batted it away and sat up slowly.  

“Look, just go and leave me alone.” Rodney rubbed his forehead, not bothering to hide the defeat he was feeling as his shoulders slumped and his hands dropped in his lap.

John seriously considered leaving, taking the easy way out. The look on Rodney’s face told him it would only be harder the next time and he sighed inwardly. Placing the computer in his hand on the lab bench behind him, he hopped up on the desk next to Rodney. Leaning closer, he nudged him with his shoulder. “Sorry. I hate doing the… …talking thing.” Waving his hand didn’t help get the words out.

Rodney rolled his eyes and teased. “You are so twelve,”

“Yeah, well, twelve year olds aren’t being fucked by vampires.”

Rodney smiled at first then his face lost all amusement and he got that look. The one that meant he’d figured something out. Sometimes there were advantages to dating a genius and Rodney wasn’t nearly as clueless as some believed. He asked warily, “So, is it the fucking or vampire thing?”

John stalled, reaching up to rub his chin. It was now or never. He blurted it out, “It’s the whole possessive thing you do, okay. It makes me feel like a girl.” He knew his face was red and there was no way he was looking Rodney in the eye. “I’m the military commander here. What will my men think?”

The bastard snorted at him, loudly, “I can’t believe you. It’s okay for you but not for....” Rodney got real quiet and John knew he was fucked. “Wait a minute. You thought I was the girl when you were fucking me, didn’t you? Now that the tables are turned, your military manliness can’t handle that, can it?”

John couldn’t really say that wasn’t it, because it kinda was. He felt like an asshole. His silence said enough and Rodney couldn’t help commenting, “Oh, that is just so typical.” Rodney continued to vent as he pushed himself off the desk. He landed hard enough to make him wince and hop a bit on his good leg and John made a grab for him only to be brushed off. Thankfully, it was more of a pissy brush off than an angry one. Pissy Rodney was easier to deal with than an angry one. “First of all, taking it in the ass does not make you the girl, or me for that matter. I don’t have girl parts, you don’t have girl parts, hence no girls in this relationship.” He was now pacing, his hands working as much as his mouth. John was trying not to stare when Rodney pointed a finger upward and spoke, “Secondly, it’s all rather moot at this point. I don’t plan on feeding off you so you won’t have to be the ‘girl’.” Rodney made sure to add the air quotes. “And, if I don’t feed you don’t have to worry about me embarrassing you in front of your men. It won’t happen again.”

Rodney just stood there, staring at him, waiting for some sort of response and John couldn’t speak. He was expecting Rodney to rant and rave about the whole girl issue but he wasn’t expecting him to come up with quite the solution he did. No more feeding? He wasn’t expecting the way his heart stuttered or his stomach rolled over at that idea and he frowned. “What?”

“No more feeding. Before that we were fine or at least I think we were fine.” Rodney hesitated, his insecurities shining through, “We were fine weren’t we?”

Flustered by his own reaction, John nodded numbly. He was having a difficult time getting his head around the hollowness he was suddenly feeling. He said quietly, trying to smile, “Sure.”

“Great.” Rodney clapped his hands together and smiled back. It didn’t reach his eyes. “Um, I really need to get caught up on some of the backlog.” End of discussion apparently. Rodney grabbed for his computer and setting it on his desk, powered it up.

“That’s it?” John could only stare in disbelief. This wasn’t over.

John caught a fraction of a second of the anguish Rodney was feeling but it passed quickly. Rodney plopped into his chair and was typing again, not looking at him. “Yes, that’s it. I know you’re afraid of the whole feeding thing and I’m certainly not going to force it on you. If you’re that uncomfortable with it, we just won’t do it.”

“It’s not the feeding. It’s what it does to me.”

Rodney absently waved his hand in the air, his other still typing, not bothering to look up. “I know, the whole me fucking you like a girl thing. I get it.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Isn’t it? You can’t handle bottoming because somewhere in your mind it makes you less of a man.” Okay that hurt. Rodney wasn’t supposed to be so perceptive. He must have given something away because when Rodney finally glanced up at him, he said wearily, “That’s what I thought.”

John took a seat at the edge of Rodney’s desk, his back more or less to him. It was easier that way. He didn’t have to see the hurt in Rodney’s eyes. “It’s not that simple.” Actually, it was but he couldn’t leave it like this. “I don’t know what I’m feeling and I suck at the whole talking about it thing.”

“I got that,” said Rodney, sarcastically. He added more seriously, resigned even, “Look, it’s fine. We’ll go back to the way it was. It’s not like I didn’t enjoy it.”

Guilt flooded through John, but it did nothing to fill the hollowness of what he was missing. “I’m sorry. This is new to me. I need time to wrap my head around it.”

Rodney nodded and John pushed off the desk, intent on leaving while he was ahead. He’d almost made it to the door when Rodney asked meekly, “Can I ask you something?”

He stopped but didn’t turn around.

“Did you enjoy it?”

“Yeah,” John whispered, unsure if Rodney heard his response before he slipped out the door.

Chapter Fourteen

It had been two days since their conversation and Rodney still hadn’t seen John outside of the work setting. He’d wandered to the lab a few times, mostly to bring by a meal or a cup of coffee, but they hadn’t spent any free time together like they used to. It wasn’t so much uncomfortable as awkward but neither was willing to give up just yet.

It was harder to get back to what they’d had than he’d thought it would be but then he wasn’t going out of his way to push John into something either. Rodney was more than willing to sit back and give John the time he’d asked for, as hard as that was. It was better than the alternative, pushing too hard and losing him.

The only thing keeping him from going crazy was the bond. It was comforting to know that John still had the same feelings toward him, confused as they were at times. If he hadn’t had the bond to reassure him of that it would have been difficult to keep all his insecurities at bay.

They had a mission tomorrow so maybe that would loosen things a bit and make it more comfortable between them. Nothing like being chased by angry villagers or being shot at to set your priorities straight. Even a good mission heightened the senses enough allow him to forget all the other stuff going on.

He’d snuck in a pre-mission checkup after dinner and was back in the lab. A few days weren’t enough to catch up on a month of missed work. Radek had done a good job so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been but he wasn’t going to mention that. No point feeding his ego.

It was late and only he and Radek remained, but that wasn’t unusual. What was unusual was Radek’s comment. “Use magic gene to turn down lights, please.”

Rodney looked up from his computer. “What are you mumbling about?”

“My eyes hurt.” Radek had taken off his glasses and was rubbing his eyes. He waved at the over lights. “Turn them down. It will also help your headache.”

“I don’t have a headache,” Rodney snapped.

“Then why are you frowning as you work?” asked Radek, taking the opportunity to clean his glasses, glancing up when the lights dimmed despite Rodney’s denial.

Rodney did in fact have a dull ache behind his eyes but he wasn’t going to admit that—not now. “Maybe it’s because I’m forced to deal with idiots that can’t seem to work without supervision. I go away for a month and they think they are on vacation.”

Radek deadpanned, “Yes, Rodney, it was great time without you. We spent many weeks searching while you basked in sun.”

“Well a day or two sooner would have been nice,” sighed Rodney, wondering if things would be different if he hadn’t had to feed.

“It would not have changed anything, Rodney, only delayed it.”

Rodney slumped back in his seat and closed his eyes. He muttered, “I know that, but that doesn’t mean…” He didn’t know what it meant. There was so much he didn’t know and he felt stupid having to ask someone, especially Radek.

“Are you and the colonel having problems?” Radek hesitated, his chair squeaking as he fidgeted.

Rodney wanted to tell him it was none of his business and it really wasn’t but Radek was the only person Rodney had who could actually give him some answers.

Ignoring Radek’s question, he asked his own, “Look, I know that this will only inflate your ego but this is the one time, and I might add, the only time you actually know more than me.” Radek nodded with a barely suppressed smirk. Rodney responded with an eye roll, “Yes, yes, you are all powerful and all knowing. I need some answers.”

Satisfied, Radek answered earnestly, “I will try.”

“Good, good,” said Rodney, rubbing his clammy hands together before waving one of them nervously. “How does the bond thing work? This bond with the colonel, I can sense some of his emotions when they are strong enough but what else. What does he get out of it? Is it always like this? Because I have to tell you that it really sucks at the moment and how the hell do you live like this?” He took a deep breath and let it out, waiting for the other scientist to answer. It was a relief to get at least some of that out.

Radek stared at him, eyes still wide from Rodney’s venting. “First of all, the bond is not always same for everyone. I have bonded two times. Both were different but still kind of same. Mostly as you said, you can feel emotions.”

“Two times?” questioned Rodney, surprised by this revelation.

“Yes, once a long, long time ago…” Radek said, almost sadly, his eyes distant. Shaking himself from his thoughts, he added, “and now with Carson.”

Frowning, Rodney asked, “I thought the bond was for life.”

Radek replied wistfully, “Their lifetime, not yours.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Despite his best efforts, Rodney’s voice shook with fear. He really didn’t want to hear this, afraid of what it would mean.

Staring in disbelief, Radek first took a deep breath. Rodney couldn’t be sure if it was to calm the sadness in his eyes or frustration. “I forget that you do not know.” He sucked in a lungful of air and let it out slowly before beginning again, “Because of bond, the colonel will live longer.”

“What are you saying?” Rodney almost growled.

“The bond,” Radek paused, “well, that and feeding will extend Colonel’s life. Not forever, but for very long time. Unlike you, he cannot heal himself but he will not age as quickly.” The sadness in his voice told Rodney there was more to the story.

“But they can still die.”

“Yes. They can be killed,” Radek said quietly, almost a whisper.

Feeling badly but not sure why, Rodney tried to apologize, “I didn’t mean to…um, I just… I’m sorry.”

“It was not your fault. It was long time ago.” He added, “Before you were born.”

Shocked, Rodney sat speechless. He was finding out more than he wanted and why the hell didn’t he know all this. Still, he needed to know. He was doing his best not to hyperventilate. “Just how old are you?”

“183. Which, before you ask, is young for most vampires.”

Feeling light-headed, Rodney leaned forward in his chair, dropping his head in his hands as he tried to catch his breath. He was vaguely aware of Radek’s chair moving and the soft sound of footsteps. It still startled him when a hand fell on his shoulder. “Take deep breaths. I know this is shock to you.”

Big understatement and hands flying wildly, Rodney erupted, “A shock! I just find out that I get to live forever.” He was on his feet, face red as he ranted loudly, “But what the hell good does that do me when the one person I pick to spend my life with has a death wish. Oh, but he’ll age well, he just won’t live long enough to enjoy it.” Exhausted, Rodney dropped heavily into his chair, still breathing harshly.

Radek dragged a chair closer and sat down, pulling his glasses off to rub his face. “I do not know what to say to make this easier. I would not have traded my time with my wife even knowing what I do. Just as I would not trade my time with Carson. It is not good to dwell on bad things. We live a very long time, my friend, and it would not be good to not enjoy what we can.”

“This sucks,” sighed Rodney, tired.

“Is not all bad. The bond can be very rewarding.”

“Speaking of the which,” Rodney said pointedly, glaring at Radek. “You still haven’t told me much.”

“As I said, is different for everyone. The bond I have with Carson is different than my first bonding and yet… is same in some ways.” Radek pinched the bridge of his nose before replacing his glasses. “It gives you a new awareness of person, but not something you can quantify. It is just there. It is like having something inside you filled and you wonder how you did without them.”

It didn’t exactly make sense, but Rodney understood what Radek was saying. He didn’t realize how empty his life had been until John came along, even without the bond. With the bond, he could sense a contentedness inside that had never been there before. There was nothing left to wonder about his relationship with John because it was all right there. No hiding behind a mask or denying his emotions. “So they feel this too?”

Radek shrugged. “To some degree. Is stronger for us. They feel it strongest during feeding.”

“So what exactly do they get out of the bond?” Rodney needed to know because the whole bond thing seemed too one sided. If all John got out of it was great sex it seemed too much like bribery in his mind. “I don’t want a sex toy.”

“Is not a bad thing,” Radek chuckled and Rodney glared at him. Radek added more sincerely, “but no, it is not what either of us wants. The bond is there so that the guilt of feeding does not tear you apart. You will know he wants you for more than what he gets during feeding and he will know that you do not want him as sex toy and food source.”

It gave Rodney a lot to think about but it did take away some of his fears. He still had questions but it was enough for now. He’d pick Radek’s brain another time. Deciding to call it a night, he shut down his laptop and closed the lid. As he rose to go, he knew he should thank his friend. “Um…” His hand gestured in the air, but the words didn’t come any easier. “I just wanted…thank you.”

Radek nodded and left it at that but as Rodney reached the door, the scientist spoke again. “It is most intense at the start but it eases off to where you feel more in control. The first months are always the hardest…for both of you.”

“I hope you’re right,” Rodney muttered softly as he left the lab. For the first time since he’d fed, Rodney thought that maybe he might want to try again, when and if John ever decided he was ready.

*************************

John wasn’t looking forward to his pre-mission checkup. Usually it didn’t bother him but seeing Carson and knowing what he did made it awkward. The worst part was that Beckett could probably answer his questions, but how the hell did he ask them.

Carson didn’t seem too affected by the whole affair and patted the bed when John walked in. “Have a seat, Colonel and we’ll get this done as quickly as possible.”

Stripping out of his shirt, John hopped up on the bed and waited. There was no one else in the infirmary, only a couple of nurses. One was preoccupied with paperwork while the other checked over supplies. He nodded towards the pair. “Boring day, Carson.”

“Aye, but I’ll not complain about that. They are rare enough,” Carson said, tightening the rubber tourniquet around John’s arm before tapping the vein on the inside of his elbow. “Let’s draw your blood first, then I’ll check you over.” A quick swipe with an alcohol swab and the needle was inserted, blood drawn seconds later. That done, Carson listened to his heart and lungs, having him breathe deeply a few times as the stethoscope moved around. A few pointed questions about his health followed. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine.”

“No dizziness or weakness after your last visit,” Carson asked. John didn’t really need reminding about the loss of blood he’d suffered but the good doctor was only concerned.

“No, I’m good. Looking forward to getting back out there.”

“Well, I’m sure your lab results will come back clean so that shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Thanks, Carson.” He planted his hands on the bed, ready to jump off. “We done here?”

“Aye, you’re good to go.” Carson turned to go, then stopped and John knew he hadn’t dodged the bullet. Turning back, Carson gestured to his office. “I wonder if you have a moment, Colonel.”

John’s head dropped and his shoulders slumped. Grabbing his shirt, he tugged it over his head and headed to Carson’s office flashing the doctor a smirk on the way by. “I knew that was too easy.”

Following, Carson slapped him on the back and smiled. “Well then, I’d hate to disappoint you.” Entering the office, he motioned for John to sit as he took a seat behind his desk.

Grabbing the chair, John gave it a quick flip of his wrist and turned it around. Straddling it, he sat down and leaned on the back as he asked, “What’s on your mind, Carson?”

Pulling his hands from his lab coat, Carson relaxed and got a little more comfortable. “I was wondering how you and Rodney have been doing. I haven’t seen him much. I think he’s avoiding me.”

“I think he’s avoiding everyone, don’t take it personally.”

Carson snorted, “I don’t take anything that man does personally. I don’t have thick enough skin for that. Is he avoiding you as well then?”

John shrugged. “I don’t think it’s so much avoiding me as…we both just need some time right now.”

“Aye, I know how difficult it can be,” Carson said, nodding in agreement.

“Yeah, that’s putting it mildly,” joked John, picking at the chair rather than look at Carson. He felt like a blushing 12-year-old.

“It gets easier, Colonel.”

John glanced up and met Carson’s eyes. “Does it? ‘Cause right now I’m not sure. I don’t get the whole bonding thing.”

“Has he fed again?”

“No!” That came out a little more forceful than he intended. Taking a breath, John scrubbed his hand through his hair. “I want him to, but it…okay it terrifies me.”

Eyes wide, Carson asked, “Why?”

“Why? Well the multiple orgasms are kinda freaky and then the whole control thing he’s got going.”

Carson shifted in his seat, leaning back as if in thought. “May I ask you something personal? You don’t have to answer.”

John snorted, “Carson, I just told you about multiple orgasms. It doesn’t get much more personal than that.”

“True. I suppose it can’t get worse than that now can it?” chuckled Carson. “I’m going to assume that the feeding wasn’t your first time together.” John shook his head shyly, knowing his ears were already turning red. “Was he the same then?”

“No, he was more…” John hesitated, unsure how to describe Rodney during a feeding. Dominant made him sound like some sort of twisted whip-welding partner. Control freak was too strong.

Carson waved it off. “Never mind. Knowing Rodney, I suspect it is normally you that must start something. In most relationships, one person is generally the one that initiates things. Not always, but most relationships fit into a pattern of sorts.”

John found himself nodding. “I suppose. Why?”

“During a feeding, Rodney will do whatever he thinks you need and I can assure that it will never play out the same way twice. There will be times when your roles will be completely reversed depending on what your needs are at the time. During a feeding, it is not just about Rodney, although the feeding is. The rest of it is for you. At times that may seem overwhelming but…” Carson drifted off, lost in his own thought.

Leaning forward, Carson rested his elbows on the desk. “Let me ask you something.” When John nodded, Carson continued, “How did you feel just after he’d fed?”

“I felt very…” He couldn’t make himself say it, but he knew what it was. He felt-- loved, more than he ever had in his life. Rubbing his stubbled face, he could feel the heat of his blush under his hand. He gave Carson a quick look and the bastard flashed him a cheeky smile. John sighed, “Yeah, okay, I get it.”

Both of them sat quietly thinking for several minutes, until John broke the silence. “Does Radek get all protective of you? Do that possessive thing after he feeds?”

“Aye, I suppose it’s something in their nature. Much like a lion protecting its kill,” Carson grimaced at the analogy, but John shrugged. It fit. “It’s why he acted as he did on the planet and in the infirmary.”

“I know but… we got lucky this time, Carson. You knew what was happening. Next time... Someone else will eventually put two and two together and they’ll boot my ass out of here on charges.”

“There is always a risk. I would bring Teyla and Ronon in on it. They know about Rodney being a vampire and the feeding but they don’t know you share a bond. They could certainly help in the field. Keep Rodney at bay, so to speak. I don’t think it’s wise to hide it from them and they probably know more than you think they do. You might think about telling Elizabeth as well.” Carson grinned as he added, “You could help by not getting hurt so much.”

Laughing, John stood, returning the chair to its rightful place. “Wishful thinking, Doc.”

***********************************

The mission was a bust. Rodney didn’t think that things could get any worse after John had been sucked through the portal but apparently he was wrong.

He should have checked the readings more before they had let John enter the doorway. Rigging the camera on a stick and shoving it through the portal confirmed there was nothing on the other side and John had warily stepped forward. Ronon and Teyla tried to pull him back after John complained of pain, unable to step out of the portal but it was too late and Rodney had to scream at them to let him go, lest they be pulled in as well. It was the hardest decision Rodney’d had to make, letting John go through alone.

A quick look at the camera and finding the batteries dead, Rodney realized his error. Frustrated, he tried to explain about time dilation while grabbing a branch with fresh flowers to quickly check his theory. After twenty seconds in the portal the flowers came back brown and dried.

All of it meant that John had had plenty of time to find a way out considering the time that had passed inside the field but was somehow unable to return. Now Rodney was racing against time to get to John before he died of old age in a time dilation field.

While Rodney returned to Atlantis for help, Teyla had used the camera again to get a more accurate rate of time passage inside the field. Considering the time Teyla recorded on the camera, Rodney estimated that about six months had passed inside the field. It had taken numerous attempts to get every one to understand that time was critical and every second was taking hours from John. And Rodney could feel it…literally. It was like being on an emotional rollercoaster. Emotions slipped by so fast he couldn’t process them, leaving will only a vague sense of what John was going through.

He returned from Atlantis with Carson and Elizabeth. Lorne came, but stayed with the jumper, making sure at least one of them could return for help should the rest of them get trapped along with John. Rodney was fairly confident that once he entered the portal he could find the power source and shut down the field.

Only when they entered the portal, catching up to John’s time, did Rodney finally relax. Now at least he wouldn’t be wasting seconds while John’s life dwindled away. He’d been wound tight earlier and it must have shown because Carson pulled him aside as they hiked towards the life signs inside the dilation field. “How are you doing? Better?”

Rodney nodded, rubbing the heal of his hand over his forehead. “A big improvement over the hamster wheel.”

Carson frowned. “Hamster wheel?”

Making a circular motion with his hand, Rodney explained, “His emotions on speed dial.”

“Ah. You could still feel all that outside the field?”

“Umm. Yes. Very…” Again his hand twirled, looking for the right word, “fast.”

Rodney couldn’t even find it in himself to bitch about the hot sun and thick vegetation as he and Carson followed behind Teyla and Elizabeth, Ronon bringing up the rear. His thoughts were all on John and how it would go when they finally found him. After several minutes of silence, Carson asked quietly, “Have you spoken to Teyla and Ronon then?”

Lost in thought, Rodney startled, having missed the question. “What are you droning on about?”

Carson rolled his eyes. “Teyla and Ronon, have you talked to them?”

“I talk to them all the time, Carson,” Rodney retorted, checking his scanner as they walked.

Carson sneered back, “Cheeky bugger. You know what I mean.”

Rodney knew exactly what he meant, but he ignored him, burying his attention in the scanner hoping Carson would give it up.

No such luck. “Rodney, you really need to talk to them. I told the Colonel the same thing but he’s as bad as you.”

“I’ve already told them all about the vampire thing. Is it really necessary for them to know the rest?”

“You know it is, Rodney. Something could happen on a mission.” Carson paused, then whispered, “You could put his career in danger. Do you want that?”

Rodney’s shoulders slumped with dejection and he muttered, “Oh, that is so unfair.”

“Talk to them,” insisted Carson.

Looking over his shoulder to where Ronon was walking with Elizabeth and then forward to where Teyla was, he smirked at Carson, “Well, I can hardly do it now.”

Carson patted his arm, smiling. “Leave that to me.”

As Carson dropped back to join Ronon and Elizabeth, Rodney mumbled, “Sheep shagging bastard.”

“I heard that.”

Rodney griped over his shoulder, “You were meant to.” He watched as Carson spoke to the Satedan and whatever he said had him breaking from the group to join Rodney and Teyla.

Ronon slapped him on the back as he strode by, almost knocking Rodney off his feet. “Carson said you wanted to talk to us, McKay.”

Stumbling, Rodney might have fallen had Teyla not steadied him before he could do a face plant in the dirt. Rodney straightened and brushed his clothes indignantly. He growled at Ronon. “Barbarian.” The big oaf just grinned.

Teyla rolled her eyes and shook her head at the two of them as they walked. “You wished to speak to us, Rodney.”

“No, but Carson is making me,” grumbled Rodney, crossing his arms defiantly.

Teyla flashed him an annoyed look that would not bode well in his next stick lesson so he dropped his arms. “Fine.” They continued walking but Rodney had no idea where to even start the conversation.

“Rodney. Please,” he folded when Teyla used that tone. It spoke of frustration for an ill-behaved child.

Hands waving, Rodney began. “Okay, so you’re both up to date on the whole vampire issue but you should probably know the rest because I can’t say that it won’t happen again.” He looked at his teammates nervously. They both looked expectant, waiting for him to continue. “You know the whole part where I drank Sheppard’s blood and things went crazy. With his need to protect the universe and do stupid self sacrificing stunts it’s probably not beyond the realm of possibility that it could happen again. Not that I want that, but I’m just saying. He can’t stop himself and really it’s so idiotic that he can’t at least have a bit of self preservation, but no… He thinks it’s perfectly okay to…”

“Rodney,” Teyla said with that same impatient tone.

Rodney winced, “Sorry. Where was I? Right right. Anyway. I just wanted you to know that should he get hurt again and there’s blood I might not be able to control myself. We..um…have this sort of…thing going and I might want to…um…um.”

Ronon interrupted him. “Fuck his brains out.”

Blushing, Rodney stared at Ronon. “I wasn’t going to say that. I was going to say…” Ronon stared back and Rodney caved. “Fine.” He gestured at the Satedan. “What he said. Only not. I can smell his blood and it makes me all crazy and I want to protect him and possess him and…” It hit him then and Rodney stopped suddenly, making Teyla and Ronon turn to see what was wrong. He frowned at them. “You know about me and Sheppard?”

Ronon just shrugged, smugly. Rodney glanced at Teyla who was smiling. “I believe we have known for some time that you and John were together.”

Trying not to panic, Rodney glanced over his shoulder to see that Carson and Elizabeth were still trailing and Carson seemed to be keeping her occupied. He grabbed for Teyla and Ronon and kept walking. Speaking in a low whisper, he stressed, “Look, no one can know that. Sheppard can get kicked out of the military and Atlantis if any one finds out that we are…”

Ronon chimed in, “Fucking.” The smile was unnerving.

Rodney sneered at him, “You just like saying that don’t you? Did Sheppard or the Marines teach you that one?”

Shrugging, Ronon grinned, “Good word.”

Teyla rolled her eyes. “Gentlemen. Please.” She put a hand on Rodney’s back, leading him forward. “Please continue. What can we do to help?”

“Right, right. Well, if he should get hurt and there’s blood you should probably try and take care of it rather than me and keep me away. As long as I don’t actually taste it, I should be okay. If it’s life threatening then you won’t have a choice but after…well, I might be a little protective towards him. Before when it happened, I reacted badly because everyone kept trying to separate us. It would help if others were kept from seeing because I know the last thing Sheppard needs is a bunch of Marines gawking at him. I know that I shouldn’t be asking but I don’t want to endanger John’s career and really this is more my fault than his and…” Rodney ran out of steam and couldn’t look at his teammates.

“It is fine, Rodney.” Of course it was Teyla that spoke first. “We will do what we can to protect both of you.”

Rodney looked up and smiled weakly, reassured by Teyla’s own smile. He dared a sideways glance at Ronon, who butted his shoulder. “Sure. We’re a team.”

Staggering, Rodney said in a gruff voice to mask his other emotions. “You never made it past the sixth grade did you?”

Ronon slapped him on the back in response and Rodney retorted, “This is what I mean. Right there. You can nod or say yes. I’m perfectly capable of understanding a simple response. If you keep hitting me, you are going to cause permanent damage and who will save you the next time we are faced with doom and destruction and you need someone with an IQ greater than your average primate.”

Eyes scanning their surroundings, ever alert to danger, Ronon ignored his rant. “So why haven’t you ever done the vampire thing when we were in trouble? Might have come in handy.”

Eyes wide, Rodney stared in disbelief. His voice rose an octave as he answered, “What and have you shoot me?”

“I wouldn’t have shot you,” insisted Ronon.

Rodney rolled his eyes and growled, “Might I remind you that you did in fact shoot me the first time.”

Ever the diplomat, Teyla added with amusement, “He has a point, Ronon.”

Ronon shrugged. “Is that the only reason?”

Rodney looked at him aghast. “The only reason? What more reason do you need? I didn’t want to get shot by my own teammates. First Sheppard then you. You’ll forgive me if I didn’t expose myself.”

“We understand, Rodney.” said Teyla. He thought maybe they did and he was glad he’d spoken to them. Maybe he could talk John into speaking to them as well. They might be able to offer some reassurances that Rodney couldn’t

The conversation came to a halt as they cleared the forest and found themselves in a large grassy field. Teyla took point and Ronon immediately dropped back to cover their six, letting Elizabeth and Carson get between them. If they hadn’t encountered anything in the forest it seemed unlikely they would have problems in the wide open but Rodney had learned not to second guess his teammates. He fell into step with Carson.

As they walked through the field, Rodney consulted his scanner when a thought occurred to him. “You know, I was just thinking: this entire field – I mean, not the field, I mean the field field…

Chapter Fifteen

John let his head drop to the side, exposing his neck further to Rodney’s exploration. The only thing holding him up was the arm around his chest as Rodney held him from behind. Rodney’s other hand was splayed out on his stomach, slowly working its way lower. His whole body hummed with need and he felt himself slipping towards that space where nothing mattered but the sensation of pleasure. His chest rose and fell in short, shallow breaths as he pushed back into Rodney’s embrace and he whispered hoarsely, “Please.”

A tongue darted out, licking the sensitive skin at the juncture of neck and shoulder making John shudder.

“Why now?”

“It’s been a long time,” drawled John.

“You could have had her,” uttered Rodney as he sucked John’s neck, drawing blood closer to the surface, but not breaking skin.

John moaned softly, conscious of those outside the small hut. “Wasn’t you.” He didn’t want to talk. He wanted to let himself drift into the pleasure that was consuming him.

Rodney trembled behind him, his hands caressing John and sending ripples of pleasure wherever he touched. Lips and tongue danced over that sweet spot on his neck tempting John and dragging him deeper into his own little world. Rodney was panting harshly as he pulled back enough to speak, “We can’t do this here. I won’t be able to stop.”

John was close, hard and aching for some sort of release. He knew he was being unfair, but six months was a long time. At some point during his internment he’d come to terms with Rodney being a vampire and his own involvement and he wanted it. Needed it. Maybe it was the bond between them, but he knew that Rodney was desperately clinging to the same need. “I need it.”

Forehead falling onto John’s shoulder, Rodney whimpered, “You’re killing me.” His hand slipped lower, easing past the waistband of John’s rough woven pants to grasp his cock. John started to cry out but Rodney silenced him with a warning. “Shh. No sound.”

John nodded frantically, his body trembling with need. “Do something,” he gasped between breaths then added in a breathy moan, “close.”

Rodney leaned closer, his breath ghosting in his ear, “Let it go.” His tongue darted out, tracing a pattern down John’s neck until he reached the spot that tempted them both. Feeling the pressure of teeth bearing down, John lost it. Any control shattered as his body responded without a second thought. Only Rodney’s support kept him from crumbling as he tried to curl around the intensity of his release. He bit his lip to keep from crying out as the pleasure was ripped from him, splattering onto the dirt floor at his feet. Things lost focus for a bit as it reached a peak, leveling off to a fuzzy afterglow. Coming back, he found himself on the floor nestled in Rodney’s embrace.

“Fuck,” muttered John, his breath coming in harsh pants.

Rodney chuckled behind him, hands soothing even as they shook. “Later. We need to go.” Gently pushing John forward, he climbed to his feet. “The others will wonder why it takes so long to grab a backpack.” John looked up as Rodney leaned into the wall, close his eyes and take a deep breath.

On his feet instantly, he reached out to Rodney, his hand cupping his neck. He could feel Rodney’s heavy heartbeat under his hand. “Hey, you okay?”

Opening his eyes, John saw a brief flash of bright blue before it faded. Rodney tried to offer a smile, but it was forced. John noted his hands were in tight fists as he leaned into his touch. “I wasn’t expecting this…you wanting…I need to go.” Pushing away from the wall he rushed from the hut.

Grabbing the pack and taking a quick look around to make sure he didn’t miss something, John hurried after him only to stop outside at the expectant faces of his teammates and friends. Elizabeth offered, “I hadn’t considered you’d be attached to this place. Do you need more time?”

John shook his head, his eyes darting to Rodney who was fiddling with his scanner. He wasn’t fooled. He could feel the tension through the bond and Rodney’s barely controlled need as if it were his own. Gritting his teeth, he forced a smile. “Let’s go home.”

*************

Grateful to be back in Atlantis, John didn’t even mind the trip to the infirmary. Other than a few run-ins with the energy beast he was fine. Not that he could convince Weir of that. She’d already hugged him twice and he was trying to keep some distance between them. It had been somewhat of a surprise to see her show up on the planet with his team and Doctor Beckett. He managed to shake her when Rodney insisted on being his escort to the infirmary.

Carson did the mandatory exam, asked a few questions and readied him for a few blood samples. Rodney stood impassively through the whole thing, not saying much. That in itself was unnerving, but the gasp he let go when Carson drew blood caught the attention of both doctor and pilot. Carson eyed him warily as he removed one vial and replaced it with another. He slipped the full vial into his pocket and said cautiously, “Rodney, perhaps you should wait somewhere else.”

Rodney’s eyes were transfixed on the blood and sweat broke out on his forehead. He licked his lips but didn’t say a word even as he moved closer to Carson. John’s gaze darted nervously from Rodney to Carson. “Um, you might want to hurry that up, Doc.”

“Aye, almost done.” Carson did his best to situate his body between John and the advancing scientist. Pulling the vial free, he added it to the one in his pocket and reached for a piece of gauze to cover the puncture as he pulled the needle free.

John sat helplessly as Rodney pushed Carson out of the way and took his arm in hand. He wasn’t sure what Rodney was going to do as they both stared, mesmerized by the small drop of blood beading in the crook of his elbow. Rodney moved first, gripping John’s arm tighter as he lowered his head, bringing his mouth closer to the prize.

The second Rodney’s tongue flicked his skin, John’s eyes rolled back and he found himself drifting into that space where everything around them faded until it was only the two of them. Rock hard in seconds, he flopped back on the bed, moaning with need. One more second, one more touch and he’d go over the edge but all he felt was a tugging on his arm, pulling him to the edge of the bed, closer to Rodney.

Someone was calling his name. Frustrated, he opened his eyes. Blinking several times, he was alarmed to see Rodney being held back by Ronon, the big man’s arms wrapped firmly around the struggling scientist as Rodney tried to pull John to him.

The voices alerted him to a possible situation. Teyla was at his side pulling his arm out of Rodney’s grasp. “You must not do this here.”

Carson and Teyla freed his arm and he instantly missed the contact. Reaching out and muttering for Rodney. Radek appeared out of nowhere and was trying to talk some sense into his friend. Rodney’s anxiety was feeding John’s.

Teyla spoke softly as she and Carson held him back, “Shh, it is okay. We will bring him to you. Let’s get you to your room.”

Carson was shaking his head as they got John to his feet. Feeling light headed, he swayed a bit before regaining his balance. Carson apologized, “I should have known better. I’m so sorry, lad. I didn’t think.”

John started to reassure him that it was no one’s fault when Teyla stepped in. “It is not your fault, Carson. You could not have known.”

“What she said,” drawled John, using the distraction to try and free himself from their grasp. He was too out of it to put up much resistance but it didn’t stop him from trying. Rodney was getting more agitated by the minute and it was bleeding into the bond, making John anxious. His eyes narrowed. “Let him go.” He took a step towards his lover.

Radek shook his head, “No. You do not know what you are saying right now. Please go. The longer you stay the longer it will take to bring him.”

Carson tightened his grip on John as he caught Radek’s eye. “Are you sure you can handle him?”

“I’m not leaving,” John insisted, planting his feet as Teyla and Carson tried to pull him away.

Radek turned sharply, his eyes flaring blue, teeth sharpening as he stomped over to where John was standing.

John couldn’t help but flinch backward as Radek growled and jabbed a finger in his chest, “You do not have choice. We are trying to help. Do not make it more difficult than it needs to be.” He ignored the shocked expressions on Teyla and Ronon faces and the gasp from Carson, adding firmly, “Go now and we will bring Rodney.” He closed his eyes briefly and when he opened them he was once again normal. Dropping his voice, he added sympathetically, “I promise.”

Eyes still wide at Radek’s outburst, John sobered. “Coulda just said so.”

Radek rolled his eyes and turned back to Rodney, who was fighting Ronon in earnest. Taking a deep breath, he moved into Rodney’s personal space and began speaking in a tone so low that only Rodney and Ronon could hear.

Recovering from her own shock, Teyla snagged John’s arm. “Dr. Zelenka is correct. The sooner we leave the sooner the two of you may reunite.”

John nodded absently, even as Rodney did the same for Radek. No wonder he got along with Rodney so well. The little Czech didn’t back down and John was pretty sure he never wanted to piss the man off again. The whole vampire thing on Radek was almost scary. He knew how to use it to his advantage. Okay, definitely scary.

The next thing he knew he was in his quarters with Carson and Teyla eyeing him nervously as they waited for Rodney. Pacing, Carson voiced his concern, “You don’t suppose they ran into anyone, do you?”

Teyla glanced towards the door as she shook her head. “I’m sure they are fine.” She hesitated before continuing. “You did not seem alarmed by Dr. Zelenka’s transformation.”

John chuckled and Carson blushed. “No, I cannot say that I was.”

Teyla glared at John. “Nor were you.”

Losing the smile, John sobered and shrugged, “It wasn’t my place to say anything, Teyla.”

“In order to gain trust you must instill it,” said Teyla, making John feel like he was in grade school.

Carson, duly chastised, defended his actions. “It’s not a matter of trust or Radek never would have exposed himself to you and Ronon. It’s become second nature to keep it hidden from those that might be less understanding then you, luv.”

Teyla looked thoughtful, saddened. “I am sorry you felt you had to hide it from us.” She asked tentatively, “Are you…”

Interrupting, Carson answered the unasked question. “No, only Radek and Rodney that I know of.”

“That you know of?” asked Teyla, skeptical.

“I only found out about Rodney when the rest of you did.”

“And Dr. Zelenka?”

“Um, he and I are…uh…” Carson was blushing furiously.

Teyla raised a brow, her mouth upturned in a half smile. “Ah.”

Carson blushed even more and John couldn’t stop himself from laughing. It died as quickly as it started and he hopped off the bed, rushing towards the door.

The door barely slid open when Rodney tumbled in and John grabbed for him, steadying him on his feet. Glaring up at Ronon, he caught him smirking. “He’s all yours, Sheppard.”

John barely heard him as he held onto Rodney, his heart pounding in his chest at the sudden contact. Rodney hands were everywhere and John thought he might have whimpered when his neck was mouthed. He looked up sharply, relieved they were the only ones in the room. He had no idea how long they’d even been alone.

Forgetting anything but Rodney, he tilted his head. “Do it.”

Rodney shook his head, the motion translating into a back and forth sensation over John’s skin, making him shiver. “Not yet. I can still feel it from earlier?”

John nodded. Hands drifted lower, snaking into the back of his pants, squeezing any argument out of him. Another squeeze and he was coming, his knees buckling even as Rodney pushed him back on the bed. Yep, he could definitely still feel the effects of the short feeding. Still trying to catch his breath, Rodney was removing his clothes, his mouth sucking and licking every spot that he knew drove John crazy. When at last his clothes were gone, John was hard again and moaning for more.

Rodney shushed him again, his voice husky with desire, “Soon.”

Rodney had tasted his blood and could go for some time without coming, taking John over the edge again and again. He was flipped over, his ass hanging over the edge of the bed, but he didn’t care, the mattress gave him something to rub against as Rodney worked him loose with deft fingers and lube. He opened freely, welcoming the burning stretch and the feeling of being filled.

God, he was such a slut, but he couldn’t stop it, didn’t want to. He’d missed this. Missed Rodney. After six months of mindless meditation he’d come to realize that he could do this. He could let Rodney have control because in here, away from everyone else it didn’t matter what any one thought. It only mattered what Rodney thought or wanted from him and he could feel that in the bond, could feel the intensity of emotion that swept over him in waves.

There was no stopping it and he hunched inward, his hips stuttering against the bed as he came again, nothing but pure pleasure in its release and he heard himself scream Rodney’s name as it reached the apex then died away slowly. Rodney curled around him, covering him with his weight, grounding him until he could breathe again, fingers lightly stroking his prostate in a gentle caress.

“I want inside you,” breathed Rodney. “I want to fuck you and feel you come over and over ‘til you’re begging for it.” Fingers pushed deeper, harder and John groaned, pushing against them for more. Rodney added a third finger and growled low and husky, “Then I want to do it all again. Bite you again, taking just enough to make you crazy with wanting it.”

John lost it, his balls tightening and pulling up sharply against the base of his heavy cock. Rodney felt it too, shoving hard and fast against his prostate, dragging his orgasm out and leaving John gaping like a fish out of water, desperately needing oxygen in the wake of his powerful orgasm. He’d come too many times to actually ejaculate and the dry orgasm bordered on pain. It should have scared him but all he could think about was how fucking incredible it felt. All he could really concentrate on was breathing and getting oxygen into his lungs.

Rodney’s fingers were bringing him to hard again and he shifted on the bed, grabbing the sheets in his fists and pulling them close, needing something to hang on to. He needed to catch his breath, needed to come again soon and god he needed Rodney’s cock in his ass. His face smashed into the bed, his body too relaxed to move, he mumbled. “Fuck me.”

The fingers in his ass were suddenly gone and powerful hands gripped his hips as Rodney nudged into him. “Need you,” panted Rodney, burying himself deeply.

“Just do it, damn it. Now!” He was so fucking close. His cock aching to come again if that was even possible. He’d lost count somewhere along the way. At the moment he wouldn’t have been able to solve 2 plus 2 to save his ass. Counting was out of the question. Rodney pulled out, slamming back in with enough force to push him forward on the bed. Frantically, John reached out for some kind of purchase only to be pulled back by Rodney’s strong arms as he thrust into him over and over. Both of them were sweating heavily, skin slapping against skin in a frenzied motion towards release.

“So tight,” grunted Rodney between thrusts. “So fucking tight.” He was shaking as his fingers tightened on John’s hips, leaving marks. Stopping suddenly, he demanded, “What changed your mind?”

On the verge of coming, John panted in frustration, “What? Christ, Rodney, would you just fuck me?”

Cool drops of sweat dropped to his back where Rodney stood poised above him, unmoving. “Tell me?”

John didn’t want to have this conversation right now, but Rodney pushed forward hard, forcing him to cry out. “I had six months to think about it.”

“And?”

When John didn’t answer, Rodney pulled out slowly, his whole body trembling as he leaned forward, licking at the sweat that beaded in the hollow between John’s shoulder blades. “Why now?” He asked, his voice shaky with reined in desire as he held himself just inside John’s ass.

Rodney demanded again, raking his sharp teeth across John’s shoulder, “Why?”

Arching off the bed, his head thrown back, John gasped, “I want this. Okay. I fucking want this. I need it. I need you.” He sank back into the bed, still panting for air, his voice a mere whisper, “I love you. I don’t want to have to think about anything else.”

“So don’t think.” Rodney moaned, gripping John harder and slamming into him, pounding his prostate in the process.

Too close and too desperate, John writhed beneath Rodney, “Yes!”

Buried deep in John’s ass, Rodney ground out between clenched teeth, “Come for me.”

He did, his vision fading for a second as the pleasure overtook him. He tried to keep his eyes open but he couldn’t and even as they burned, leaking tears, he convulsed around Rodney’s cock savoring the groan he elicited from his lover. It was enough to drag his climax out a few extra seconds and he would have slid bonelessly to the bed if Rodney hadn’t been holding him so firmly against his cock, ready to move.

Rodney’s harsh breathing filled the room as he thrust into John, his movements sharp against John’s prostate. It was intoxicating, the sounds Rodney made as he fought off his own release. John wasn’t sure he could ever master that kind of control. It was nice to be able to let it go and just let Rodney take over their pleasure. Fuck, he was good at it.

Moaning out loud, Rodney bucked into him, “I’m…ohgod…I’m…fuck…coming.”

John’s body shuddered once, seized up and came hard, screaming out his release as Rodney filled him with his own. The hands on his hips were crushing, making John shiver in the aftermath from the power in Rodney’s grip. The strength in the muscle secreted beneath the layer of softness was hidden from others. Except from John. Which was kind of cool. He was heavy on John’s back but it was a comforting weight and John sunk deeper into the mattress with sigh of contentment.

“Sorry.” Rodney muttered breathlessly in his ear. “Next time I’ll be able to hold off longer. Needed you too much to wait.” He took a deep breath, burying his face in John’s shoulder, canines grazing his skin.

“Ungh,” John grunted softly, it was all he could manage. His brain was wondering what Rodney could possibly be sorry for given the number of orgasms John had already had. His cock was finally limp and he didn’t think there was much chance of reviving it now that Rodney had come. Rodney’s weight was balanced between John’s back and the bed, enough that neither of them had to move to get comfortable. They laid there for some time, not moving, just breathing.

As the sweat and semen began to dry, John felt itchy, reminding him that he needed to shave and shower. It had been six months since he’d had the luxury of a hot shower and it was too tempting even as worn out as he was. With a lot of effort, he nudged Rodney aside and got to his feet, ignoring his rubbery knees as he staggered to the bathroom.

Rodney turned his head and opened one eye. “Doing?”

Standing at the sink, John stared at the reflection in the mirror. He hated having a beard, it always itched. Rubbing the hair on his chin, he answered, “I need to shave. Then I’m going to stand in the shower for an hour. Go back to sleep.”

Scooting up further on the bed and stretching out, Rodney muttered into his pillow. “Wake me before you shower. I’ll join you.”

“You can wash my back.” John looked until he found some scissors and his shaving gear and got to work.

***************************************************

They had fucked in the shower, or rather Rodney had let John fuck his mouth then he had fucked John. They’d woken in the early morning hours before the dawn and Rodney had fed again. John had asked Rodney if he held off coming for John or himself. When Rodney said both, John fucked him, coming over and over while he denied Rodney his orgasm, making him beg for it. They’d fallen asleep almost immediately after.

Now the sun was shining into the room, and Rodney marveled at John’s beauty as he lay sprawled on the too short bed, sun warming his back. Rodney had gotten out of bed earlier, the sun making him uncomfortable but not wanting to wake John, he found the darkest corner of the room where he sat down and watched his sleeping lover.

He watched as John slowly came awake, shifting on the bed to move out of the hot sun until it became impossible to escape and he opened his eyes. Rodney smiled as John realized he wasn’t there and jerked awake, looking wildly about the room. “Over here.”

John squinted, smiling when he found Rodney in the corner. “Hey.” He rubbed his face and ran his fingers through his hair, making it stand up even more if that was possible. “You okay?”

Rodney nodded, warmed by John’s concern. “Yeah, just the sun. I didn’t want to wake you.”

John crawled out of bed, practically oozing rather than standing to walk and he settled between Rodney’s legs, matching his pose. They sat in the corner, chest to back, with knees up, enjoying the quiet. Rodney moved his hands onto John’s legs, rubbing his shins in a lazy pattern, resisting the temptation to bury his head in John’s shoulder. Into the spot that would drive them both crazy with want. He didn’t want that, well he did, but this was nice—better.

He was pleasantly sore, but sated and knew John was the same. When he chuckled John turned slightly to ask, “What’s so funny?”

Rodney pulled him in closer, nuzzling his neck playfully. “I can feel your smugness.”

John laughed softly, “Kettle black.”

“I suppose,” answered Rodney into John’s neck. “Is your manly dignity firmly back in place?”

“Yes it is, thanks,” John said smugly. He added with a sigh, “I was being stupid.”

“No, just cautious,” Rodney said, still kissing lightly. “I would never do anything to expose you. Not intentionally.”

“I know.” John sat with his arms on his knees, one hand holding his other wrist, lost in thought. “We should probably tell Elizabeth.”

Between kisses, Rodney replied distractedly, “Hmmm, probably.”

Leaning back, John enjoyed the attention. He muttered, “Maybe she’ll stop hugging me.”

Rodney leaned back, taking John with him, holding him against him in a warm, protective embrace. John let himself sink into, basking in it. There were no doubts, no fears, just love and affection bleeding through the bond. He let himself enjoy it.

THE END

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